Supermarket Censure

 

Have you ever just wanted to complain about something? I sure have. Does it give you a sense of validation and solidarity to join with fellow complainers and just vent? 

Why do people do this thing? It just drives me nuts!

Yeah, I get it. And I’ve surely done it.

But I wandered into one such complaint-fest in a local Reddit community recently and something about it made me stop and think. 

The premise: some people take grocery carts away from the store and don’t return them. Worse than that, they ditch them any old place. 

I think everyone in the thread agreed that it would be better if people didn’t take the grocery carts away from the store and that it was maddening to find them in places they didn’t belong. 

But the automatic next step was, basically, “What is wrong with those people???” That bugged me. 

So I asked:

What would be a good way to support customers without cars to be able to get multiple bags of heavy groceries home? Ideas?

The response I got was polite enough, but dismissive.

But what if they *do* need support? What if we chose to look at it in a different way? I agree it's a problem. But somehow it has become a solution for something that we don't experience.

Again, response was a big “nah.”

Basically - - this isn't a new problem. It happens in many places under specific conditions. All I am suggesting is that it might be worth looking at in a different way. It's possible that a viable solution exists. Our being frustrated or judgmental isn't fixing anything. Just a thought.

Response was along the lines of  “If you can walk it away you can walk it back.”

Overall, the consensus was that the people being discussed had a lack of common decency.

No one wanted to engage on the concept that this behavior comes from a need. That need isn’t being met. We could, if we decided to, examine new ways to meet that need. 

I wonder why. Is it because 1) it’s more fun to complain or that 2) we don’t value the needs of “those people.” Does it come down to the fact that we don’t consider them to be legitimate needs?

I went looking for more information on this topic and so far my research has only made me scratch my head and laugh.

Neighbors want to know why shopping carts are being left around downtown, WTOC, Savannah

Hard hitting investigative piece, this. “WTOC investigates: Asked. Answered.”

I watched the entire thing. They honestly never ask, nor do they answer why shopping carts are being left around town. My high school English teachers would like a word. 

Have you ever heard of desire paths? 

Desire paths, as the name indicates, are informal pathways created by pedestrians, bikers, and animals that carve out routes considered more desirable to travelers.

Oftentimes, these paths are shortcuts or easier routes than the paved routes in place. Desire paths can be seen cutting across fields, through lawns, and around buildings.

The path from Point A to Point B looks very different in the office of a landscape architect or an urban planner than it does on the ground. Despite best intentions, the built environment doesn’t always fit the needs of the people it’s meant to serve. - - Elizabeth Borneman, Urban Geography 

Can you imagine if we treated people who ventured off the sidewalk to cut across the grass with the same disapprobation as the folks with the shopping carts? We absolutely could. But we don’t. Imagine the investigative news pieces.

Neighbors want to know why people are cutting across the grass around downtown.

It’s thoughtless.

Careless.

Damages the grass.

Unsightly.

Lowers the tone of the neighborhood.

But, as Elizabeth Borneman states: Despite best intentions, the built environment doesn’t always fit the needs of the people it’s meant to serve.

Everyone who shops at a grocery store is a paying customer. No matter who they are, where they live, or how they get home with their groceries - - they are “the people whose needs should be served.” But we don’t experience “those” lives or “those” needs. So we see ourselves as the norm and see any other behavior as deviant. 

We could choose to do something different. But, honestly, we just don’t value their needs. The businesses don’t value their needs.

If you want to see how creative businesses can get with shopping carts, take a look at this from CBS Sunday Morning. 

A new generation of shopping cart with GPS and AI, CBS Sunday Morning, 2024

Wow. They can do that but they can’t figure out how to meet the needs of car-less shoppers?

Talk about a lack of common decency.

Village Green/Town² Comments

Fear Did Not Win

 

Last night Zohran Mamdani was elected Mayor of New York City. I have four words about that:

I’m still not afraid.

I’m not here today to talk about what I’m afraid of. I here to talk about what I am *not* afraid of. I am not afraid of Zohran Mamdani. - - This Is What Changed Me, Village Green/Town², 6/28/2025

A lot of money was spent in this race to make people afraid of him. I can’t tell you with any certainty that it was the most political money ever spent specifically on fear but I do think it was the stupidest.

It’s my blog. I can say that.

I wrote about this in June. It’s important enough to bring it back today because this wholesale fear and loathing tactic in New York didn’t just come from one political party. This is deeply disturbing to me. And whether I like it or not, we see this happen in Howard County as well. 

I would like to be confident that Democrats reject this destructive mindset and want nothing to do with racism, prejudice, ethic slurs, Islamophobia and Anti-Semitism. In that same vein, I need to see unequivocal acceptance and legal protections for everyone in the LGBTQIA community.

I don’t.

When I see that the political party I believe in is making their plans based on the excuse that “we just can’t risk it” then I know we are diminishing the good that we are called to do. It may be fear that holds us back. But if we do not stand up for what is right then we are not who we say we are. Either we are relentlessly outspoken for “We, The People” or we are nothing.

Failing to stand up can be a very quiet thing. It may not seem as overtly ugly as the venom of MAGA trolls but it is still a choice. It has consequences. And those who are vulnerable in our communities can hear it clearly.

So many hateful responses to things on social media could truly be replaced with the words “I don’t understand.” Whether it’s LGBTQIA rights, social justice, fair housing, or a new community initiative, when trolls come out of the woodwork what they are are betraying more than anything else is that they don't understand.

And, somewhere along the line, they have been taught that the natural thing to do in those circumstances is this:

• I don’t understand and I am afraid.
• I don’t understand and I mock this.
• I don’t understand and I reject this.
• I don’t understand and I must destroy this.

When I wrote this I didn’t realize that I had omitted something:

I don’t understand, I’m afraid, and I will be silent.

The election in New York has been a painful reminder that it’s not always the Other Guys. Sometimes it’s Us. 

What are we going to do about that?

The opportunities we have in life to move beyond that unthinking and unknowing response can come at school, in libraries and in neighborhoods where not everyone is like us. Have you noticed that those are the precisely the places that are under attack right now?

Any place where it is safe to say “I don’t understand” and then be welcomed to learn what you need to know to understand is a place where bridges of empathy can be built. That is why Social Emotional Learning is so important. That is why the Arts and Humanities are so important.

We all have fear. We all have things we don’t understand. It can wreck us, or it can invite us into a different place. A better place. Not perfect, and not without fear, but a place where we have more of the tools to be fully human.

For me this journey began with making a friend. And I am still learning. Today I am grateful for that friend, for opportunities to learn, and for those who are brave enough to stand up.

Village Green/Town² Comments

You Can’t Go Home Again

 

Thank you for your responses to yesterday’s post. It was the kind of conversation that makes writing a community blog worthwhile. So far I haven’t been trolled. I think that’s largely because those folks stopped reading my blog a long time ago and for that I am grateful.

*****

I posted this photo on the Howard County Eats FB page yesterday hoping to stump folks. I did not. Not one bit. My question: Just for fun: who knows what this is and do you know if it’s still there?

I’m rather proud of this artsy view. 

Well, if their responses are any indication, you recognize it, too. It’s the fireplace feature at the old Pizza Hut on Route 108. This particular location is now Pupatella and I’ve learned that they didn’t keep it as a part of their decor. 

That’s fine. Going into Pupatella expecting it to be a nostalgic recreation of the Pizza Hut era of your youth would be both unfair and ultimately disappointing. It doesn’t claim to be that.

Now, about Toys (backwards)R Us. They may be trying to lure you to their seasonal pop-up locations with just that kind of nostalgic hook. There’s one at The Mall in Columbia. It’s been covered by the local Patch outlet and hyped by local realtor Joe Phillips with so much enthusiasm I thought at first that he worked for the company. 

Big News at The Mall in Columbia – Toys “R” Us is Back! 

If you grew up in Maryland, chances are you have some amazing memories from The Mall in Columbia — a place that’s been at the heart of family shopping trips, weekend hangouts, and holiday traditions for decades. And now, one of the most iconic names in childhood fun is making a comeback: Toys “R” Us! 

That’s right — the legendary toy store that fueled countless birthday wishes and Saturday morning adventures is returning to The Mall in Columbia. Located on the lower level near Macy’s, this new Toys “R” Us location promises to bring back the magic with a modern twist.

It’s possible he had access to a great press release or works closely with ChatGPT.

Hats off to the local who jumped in with this very Columbia answer.

Thanks Joe. Hate to be that guy, but the toy store in Columbia Mall was called Potomac Toys. We never had a Toys R Us in the mall.

Can’t you easily imagine that comment being spoken by the Eeyore of animated Disney films? Or is it just me?

Anyway…not Howard County but there’s a guy in YouTube who has reviewed another of the new TRU incarnations and he is not impressed.

New TRU is Bad! Let it Die! Joe Go Toy Reviews, YouTube

I haven’t been to the Columbia one so his take may not be one hundred percent accurate for all the stores they’ve opened. Fill me in if you have already visited. 

If someone wants to lure me back to a toy store with a full blown nostalgia campaign I want it to be Mumbles & Squeaks.

*****

One more thing about yesterday: the best part was learning things from readers that I had not known. In particular, that Manor Lane used to go from Route 40 to 108 and was closed at the request of the Caroll family (Doughoregan Manor) in the 1980’s. A public road. Hmm. 

If anyone used to drive that way to get home I imagine they really did feel like you can’t go home again. Yikes. 

Village Green/Town² Comments

The Road to Hell

 

This is a topic I have thought about writing on for quite awhile. I’ve also had it recommended to me as a possible blog topic. There’s no question that there’s a local story in all this. And yet I have felt deeply uncomfortable about going near it. Even bloggers with plenty of opinions have a little inner voice that says, “Don’t go there.”

Well, look at that - - it’s back in the news again.

Why the fight over Manor Hill Brewing just won’t end, Lillian Reed, Baltimore Banner

I give up. Let’s talk about it. From the Banner article:

Residents of 15 homes along Manor Lane say the farm’s operations and alcohol sales go beyond what’s allowed by the permits, local zoning ordinances and other regulations. They say the business brought heavy traffic, litter and disorder to their once quiet lane, which wasn’t designed to accommodate such activity.

Manor Hill Lane existed as a residential neighborhood long before Manor Hill Brewing/Manor Hill Farm. It’s to be expected that there would be some upheaval and difficulties involved in adding a commercial enterprise to the mix. 

Manor Lane begins at 108 right before you reach HCPSS Central Office. Continuing on Manor Lane, you will see the road go off to the right. That’s Manor Hill Brewing.

Taken from Google maps. Hope this helps.

Those who support the operation, owned and run by the Marriner family (Victoria Gastro Pub, Manor Hill Tavern) are quick to point out that “not all Manor Lane residents” object to Manor Hill. They’re also quick to demonize anyone who objects as anti-business or meddling “Karen” types. 

I’ve seen some truly nasty accusations on social media. It’s puzzling to me why a FB community dedicated to reopening schools and businesses during COVID lockdowns would go on the attack about this.

Those who object are quick to point out that they don’t oppose the business as a whole. They are at odds with how (or if) the business is adhering to the required county zoning ordinance /regulations. From what I can tell, their argument is that the residential neighborhood could peacefully coexist with the brewery/event venue if they followed the laws on the books. 

The problem? They argue that the business isn’t in compliance and the county isn’t requiring them to do what they need to do to be in compliance, either. 

Is there more to this story? Undoubtedly. Do I have a gut feeling about it?

Well, yes. And you can take it with a grain of salt because this is commentary. 

It looks to me as though the County has a serious commitment to fostering the growth of healthy businesses and supporting their success. Has that commitment made them more likely to have a flexible interpretation of these particular regulations at Manor Hill?

Maybe?

I can tell you that my reluctance to wade into this has a lot to do with not wanting to make anybody mad. That’s rather embarrassing to admit, but: there you are. There’s just something about this whole saga that gives me the creeps. 

Truth in advertising: I have never been to Manor Hill Farm/Brewery. I do wish they would make non-alcoholic products. I’ve been told it’s unlikely that they will. But that’s another story altogether. 

I don’t think I know anyone who lives on Manor Lane, either.

A different kind of truth in advertising: is Manor Hill connected to Marriner Marketing? Looks like yes and no. Probably irrelevant here. I’m just curious.

I often end pieces with the words: what do you think? Or: let me know. This topic has the potential for some incendiary responses so I’d like to be clear that personal attacks and outright nastiness are blockable offenses here.

What I would love to see is a lasting resolution in which both sides are happy to support one another and feel respected. No matter how hard folks have worked to create a viable side-by-side relationship, something is amiss. Good intentions are not enough, as the title to today’s post suggests.

Village Green/Town² Comments 

 

HoCo Wild and Woolly

 

You’ve probably herd heard about the goats. If not, here you goat  go:

Howard County police help return goats…,  Jesse Zander, CBS News

News stories which center on the appearance of animals where they are not expected seem to evoke a sense of whimsy or fun. Probably not for the animals. Very likely they don’t understand why it’s not normal for them to be anywhere. We’re the ones who draw the lines. Or we’ve put animals in places they weren’t intended to be in the first place. 

Emu on the loose in Wicomico County, for instance. Or five zebras spotted roaming in Prince George’s County. Neither are native to Maryland. 

Most animal sightings around town aren’t that exotic. And usually they’re in the more rural part of the county. Some years back a male turkey developed a bit of an internet following after being spotted numerous times near Daisy Road. Alas, this fellow came to a sad end when unknown miscreants grabbed him, put him in the trunk of their car, and drove off. 

The dangers of getting famous on social media - - right there. 

And then there was Serendipity.

If someone is missing a large rooster, he is near serendipity. He ran off into the bushes when he saw me get out off my car to take a picture. 

If a serendipitous rooster sighting isn’t enough for you, perhaps this post, from this week, will tickle your fancy.

(Actually, it was “chickens” plural.)

Just as my brain had a hard time processing a “rooster near serendipity”, I also wondered why the moral behavior of the chickens was remotely relevant.  As my Irish family members might say, “I’ll thank you not to be so pass-remarkable.”

No, no. These were not “loose chickens” (God forbid.) They were chickens who got loose. And if I lived in Western HoCo I wouldn’t be having these amusing misconceptions. 

Clarksville Happenings is a private FB group, so I’m not going to screenshot the comments, but these are fun.  Enjoy them if you are able. If not, let me assure you that the question of why did make an appearance.

Circling back to a previous post…we are drawing nearer to the first frost, which was my self-imposed deadline for restarting my backyard bird feeding venture. I still don’t have a solution to my deer and squirrel dilemma. A savvy reader suggested a pulley system, but I’m not that handy. I found a commercial product that would do the trick at the cost of nine hundred dollars. 

Nah. 

The truth is that the deer and the squirrels belong here. It’s only a problem because I, as a human, am setting a boundary that declares them to be out of place. When they show up at the feeder they’re not trespassing. They live here. They’re hungry. 

If for some reason you have an extra nine hundred dollars lying around please don’t buy me a fancy birdfeeder. I’m pretty sure you know what to do. 

Village Green/Town² Comments 

F ³: All Treats Edition

 

Years ago I taught at a small independent school in Baltimore that celebrated Halloween with the full Halloween Parade tradition. Parents and friends were invited. The playground was packed with groups of costumed children, harried classroom teachers, and doting adults with cameras. 

Over the many years I worked there, three costumes stood out. 

1. The first was a boy in the second grade whose homemade costume charmed me. He was a chef, with all the appropriate clothing. But the pièce de resistance was a pot he carried that appeared to be boiling and emitting steam. It was all done with cotton balls or cotton batting. 

It was not a fancy costume and I don’t think it cost a lot to create. It was perfect in every way and this kid was rocking it. It just made me happy to see him enjoying himself.

2. Then there was the year my own kid wanted to be Xena Warrior Princess. She fully believed I could make that costume. I fully believed I was incapable of pulling it off. We are talking limited time, limited funds, limited tools, and limited ability. 

Somehow I did it. It may have been my crowning achievement in life. It was definitely an example of how faith and/or courage require doing the impossible thing while reckoning with your own flaws and limitations. 

3. One year I actually went all out on myself: tricking out a long dress I already had to create a Renn Fest princess-esque costume. This involved figuring out how to give it a lace-up bodice sort of thing by means of buying and using a special Grommet Tool. I distinctly remember needing to go outside and hammer the darn grommets on the sidewalk in front of our apartment building.

I had a vision. I was determined. This costume was going to be appropriate for the school Halloween Parade and maybe, just maybe, attractive enough to wear elsewhere. My memory is a little fuzzy here but I think this costume may have caught the eye of the cute fellow who I’d met in the church choir associated with the school.

You know what they say: reader, I married him.

May your day be full of treats - - both giving and receiving.

Village Green/Town² Comments

The Five Hundred and Forty-Four

 

Let’s do the numbers, shall we?

In reading the Banner article about the unveiling of the COVID-19 memorial statue, I came across these numbers:

Since March 2020, Howard County has seen more than 74,000 cases of COVID-19 and 544 deaths.

The article, by Lillian Reed, seems to have more than one title. 

“Howard County unveils COVID-19 pandemic memorial”

And

“Howard County has lost 544 residents to COVID-19. A new memorial honors them.”

I don’t know why they do that. Possibly to see which title gets more engagement?

The numbers: cases of COVID-19 are at 74,000 and counting. This is an ongoing public health challenge. It is not over. 

Deaths from COVID-19 at this time stand at 544. 

Numbers are funny. People who have wanted to downplay the seriousness of COVID act like 544 is practically nothing. A small percentage. A drop in the bucket. Yet we all know that, if even one of those deaths is someone we know, the impact is staggering.

544 people.

How many people went to your high school or are employed where you work? How many people have you been genuinely friends with over a lifetime? Now take away 544. 

Gone.

There are far too many statues in this world to war and conquest. And we spend far too much time in our culture honoring people largely for their wealth and status. 

544 people lived in our community and were felled by a horrific illness. They suffered. They died. Their families and friends grieved and feared for their own vulnerability.

We know that people are far more than numbers, don’t we? It also matters who they were. And, above all else - -  above age, gender, race or ethnicity, or financial status  - -  they were our neighbors. 

Photo from HoCoGov

Artists: Jim Benedict and Lily Kuonen

“16-foot sculpture symbolizes remembrance, comfort, hope, empathy, compassion

                     and the strength of the human spirit.”

Village Green/Town² Comments