An Arm and a Leg in Howard County

 

I’ve been hanging on to the following words (in screenshot form) since 2019. This post is from a group on Facebook called The Best Businesses of Howard County.  It’s still relevant, so - - here goes:

I'd like to make a suggestion. When asking for recommendations, instead of saying "doesn't cost an arm and leg,"

"doesn't cost a fortune," or even

"reasonably priced," state your budget or max price.

People have different expectations of reasonable. For example, you might ask for venue suggestions. I want to suggest an amazing place that is $300 but your budget is $100. Then I could cater my suggestions to your budget or save you the trouble of calling a place that doesn't work with your budget.*

What is reasonably priced? Do we know? We know how much money we have and how much we are willing to spend. Maybe you feel uncomfortable sharing that kind of information publicly. But everyone wants to get a good deal, right? 

Well…everyone with the exception of people who feel validated by spending the most possible amount on something so they can brag about it.

I’m guessing that’s not you. 

Let’s take an individual purchase that you make regularly. You become quite familiar with how much it is likely to cost. Maybe it’s milk, for example. I may not be knowledgeable in all things but I do know how much Lactaid Whole Milk costs, what the store brand costs, and which stores charge substantially more than I am willing to pay for the privilege of having milk without lactose.

The problem comes in larger expenditures in areas unfamiliar to us, Your child doesn’t get married every day, for instance. Home repair and renovation. Finding high quality childcare when you are a new parent. These things can be very expensive and you know it. And the less you know about them, the more fearful you are about the decision. 

Often we don’t know what these things cost in our area. What may feel expensive to us may be how much it really costs to provide that service in Howard County. So, if you are insisting on a substantially lower cost, you may not find anything or what you get may be far below what you had hoped for as far as quality is concerned.

The inquiries that really get my goat are ones where folks are truly trying to get people to work for less than what they are worth. This might be wedding photographers or musicians. It could be childcare providers. You have probably seen this. There must some angle that will open the door for them to get what they want for cheap. And someone must have raised them to believe that this is how the world works: those people are just trying to rip you off. You just have to be tougher. I sometimes wonder if these are the same people who leave abysmal tips after excellent service. Or no tip at all, because they “just can’t afford it.”

Don’t do this. Don’t expect that a student photographer wants to do your photo shoot for exposure. Don’t think a wedding organist or a band should be happy with a bottle of wine or dinner. And for heaven’s sake, don’t denigrate the work of childcare by leaning on their already inadequate pay.

These are actions that people in power use to exploit those who are dependent upon their favor. 

It is fair to say, “This is how much I have to spend - - is that a reasonable amount to get what I am looking for?” when you are asking around for recommendations. It’s not fair to make our local small businesses/entrepreneurs feel like they don’t have a right to fair compensation. 

You would not want to be treated that way. Your personal budget is dependent upon your employer paying you fairly and consistently. What about the person you hope to do business with? Their needs are not so different than yours. They are your neighbors, after all. 

An educated consumer is one thing. An exploitative consumer is quite another.

Village Green/Town² Comments

*If by some crazy coincidence you are reading this and you are the author of these words, let me know if you wish to be credited. - - jam

Looking for Inspiration

 

I’m having a rather “bah, humbug!” morning over here today. I’ll try not to take it out on you. 

It all started when I went looking for some information on a new store which has come to the Mall in Columbia. It’s called The Inspiration Company. (Or maybe it’s “The Inspiration Co”.)

 

 

Images from The Mall in Columbia social media  

Now open! @theinspiration_co has arrived at The Mall in Columbia, bringing uplifting jewelry and positive vibes to your shopping experience.  Come explore their inspiring collection today!

My first thoughts: well, we can all use some inspiration right about now, but - -  I’m dubious that it can be purchased at a suburban shopping mall. 

Places I have found inspiration: at the library, in nature, in human connection, in music and art, and sometimes in church.

Places I have never found inspiration: temples of commerce and purveyors of mass-produced goods.

Still, I wanted to find some shred of the positive in this story so I went to their website to learn more about them. I was not inspired. 

I could enumerate my thoughts for you but it’s just not that important. It’s a store at the Mall. 

Let’s move on. 

There’s a Chrysalis Kids concert this morning at 11 am at Merriweather Park at Symphony Woods. Tickets are free but you must register.

Image from IAT social media

For a description of the concert and what to expect: 

Chrysalis Kids: Sunnyland Band

For more about Slim Harrison visit his website - - it’s fascinating!

One last local tidbit. As I was searching for something completely unrelated, I learned about this:

Screenshot of New York Times article, 1968

It looks like Columbia had a college before Antioch, and it was in the same location - - the building we now call Historic Oakland. From what I can tell it never truly got off the ground. One thing that both colleges had in common: a commitment to a nontraditional curriculum and ways of learning. 

Do you know anything about this academic venture? Let me know. 

Village Green/Town² Comments

Events and How to Find Them

 

Facebook Events has changed how they present information and it looks like it will give you more choices. However, the difference in layout has temporarily broken my brain. 

This got me thinking about the different local event calendars around town and their varying ease of use. I tend to lean most heavily on the Facebook one and the supplement with the calendar on Visit Howard County. 

My only quibble with VHC is that they list a whole slew of things that happen on multiple dates first before events happening only today. Yes, they allow you to search for a specific date but you will still be wading through events that happen every day in September, or every Saturday from August to November, for example. 

You may want to see those. I realize that’s a silly quibble on my part. VHC also lists events that aren’t actually in Howard County but are nearby. That’s gracious of them. Since I limit myself to things within HoCo I’m always puzzled to see those on a HoCo Tourism site. I’m sure there’s a reason.

If anyone decides to create an event to save the eggplant and peach sculptures on Main Street, will we see it in the listing at Visit Howard County? Does anyone know if the Preservation Board has formally objected to the TARDIS? Perhaps it looks historically timey-wimey enough for them.

I took a look at The Columbia Mom this morning for an events listing and it is too visually busy for me to make sense of. That’s a me problem. Don’t misunderstand me: it’s beautiful to look at. Clearly a lot of work goes into this.  The growth of The Columbia Mom into a recognizable brand even outside of HoCo is kind of amazing. Take a look and let me know what you think.

In my Goldilocks search for the perfect calendar let me offer the one from Columbia Inspired Magazine. The layout is not too busy, the information is beautifully arranged, and there’s a enough white space to balance the content. I actually sighed with relief when I came to this one. Events are mentioned in two categories: Featured Events, and Other Great Events. 

This events listing does not claim to be the be-all and end-all of everything happening around town. It’s a curated selection and I think they do it well. It’s a good choice if you don’t want to be mowed down with excess information.

So, you know the drill. It’s going to range from clear to partly-cloudy with pollen in the low to mid range. Highs look to be near 80 and the humidity at the moment is 63 percent. How will that influence your choice of Saturday activities? I have been scouting daily for a not too hot, not too humid, low-pollen day for doing yard work. 

Friends, it may never happen. 

Don’t forget the markets! 

Clarksville Commons

Old Ellicott City

Village Green/Town² Comments 

F ³: And Now, a Word from our Sponsor

 

Do you listen to any podcasts? Here are some that I’ve been listening to lately:

• Circle Round
• Kelly Corrigan Wonders
• Higher Ground IMO
• Arts Educators Save the World
• Wait Wait Don’t Tell Me
• Smologies
• TILF

I’ve found that, the more I am distressed by current events, the more important it is for me to find other ways to offset the ongoing crisis mode in my brain. Podcasts have been a godsend in that regard.

There’s just one thing: the adverts. I have gotten really hung up on the commercials in these things.

When you watch commercial television there may be ads you don’t like. And thank goodness there’s at least a mute button for aggressively loud sales pitches or annoying jingles. But I’ve never had a sense that the people in the show I was watching were responsible for what ads I was seeing or the relative quality of the products being pitched. 

Yes, I know that the revenue from commercials makes the creation of the shows possible. But in my mind they were separate from eachother. Truthfully, they have become more and more intertwined to the point where a brand like Disney* is a streaming service, a television channel, programming you watch, and products you buy all at the same time. 

Not so with podcasts. They are by far more intimate operations. Often the host of the show does the ad pitches as well. I’m left wondering whether the artist chooses the brand and supports the product. I don’t like this one bit. 

In the early days of television late night show hosts like Jack Paar were obliged to do on-air advertising spots. That was before my time, although I remember quite clearly the voice of Marlin Perkins making the weird transitions to the commercial breaks in Wild Kingdom.

Just as the mother penguin feeds her young, so you can protect your family with Mutual of Omaha.

I do find it weird to hear Michelle Obama and her brother Craig Robinson segue from interviews with notables like Spike Lee to testimonials about how back-to-school shopping can be transformed by getting it all from Amazon. 

I’m not a huge fan of Amazon. So, I wonder: how do the cohosts feel about Amazon? Does it matter?

Kelly Corrigan Wonders is sponsored by a combination of products for affluent women that I could never afford such as sheets, blankets, clothing, and jewelry that will “refresh your look,” and natural-sounding health and beauty products whose claims concern me. If I were Kelly Corrigan I would not want to be in the position of enthusiastically shilling for a oral health product that encourages parents to go all-natural and avoid the dangers of fluoride for their children. 

I never thought we would be in this place, but: here we are.  These days where you stand on fluoride is a political statement. It matters. If you are going to read the ads yourself, and you are the reason people are listening in the first place, doesn’t it matter what you are promoting? If you assure listeners that purchasers of a product will have access to support from naturopathic practitioners…what are you telling them?

The podcast Smologies, an offshoot of Ologies for kids, donates a portion of ad revenue from each show to a charity chosen by their guest. That makes the whole ad thing more palatable to me, somehow. I haven’t been listening long enough to know how they handle the advertising piece overall. I won’t comment on that yet.

I know that there have been occasions when television viewers, offended by program content, wrote to sponsors as a way of applying pressure on the show. Do members of the public ever write to the program itself with concern about the nature of their sponsors? 

Still - - If I value and want to benefit from the content, someone will have to pay for it. One way or another. 

What do you think? Does advertising on podcasts feel weird to you, too? 

Let me know. 

Village Green/Town² Comments

*They may think this makes them all the more easy (or unavoidable) to love. In fact, it makes them oh so easy to boycott. Just saying. 

The Mystery List

I keep a running list of things that might make a good blog post. Unfortunately, once I put something on the list, I tend to lose all interest in writing about it. 

This is an ongoing mystery to me. Anyway, here is the current list:

• Cycling without Age
• People on the Go Maryland
• The Gathering, a new monthly salon at the library
• Patapsco Literary Festival
• Former Ellicott City preschool reopens in Sykesville 
• China Day October 4
• CEI Harvest Gala October 16
• SEEDS
• Cradlerock partners with Queen Takes Book

Other mysteries include the appearance of multiple fire trucks and more than one ambulance at Elite Spice in Jessup yesterday morning. This would not be such a big deal were it not for a pending lawsuit against the company and reports of EPA violations. Of course, this could be completely unrelated. I am not an investigative reporter. This is beyond my level of expertise.

A mystery which seems likely to be benign: the sighting in Owen Brown of - - a large rolling…horse? sporting an American flag decoration.  These are the kinds of things one learns on Reddit. Yes, there’s a photo. I’m not sharing it because it isn’t my photo. Cool points to the local wit who responded, “Citizens of Troy, be not alarmed.”

In “The Jokes on Me” category, reports of a Big Bird appearance in Columbia were not what I  was visualizing.

Hope springs eternal. I love that big yellow guy.

A complete mystery to me: folks who show up eager to argue the meaning of the United States Constitution with the County Executive.

The best mystery: readership of the blog has increased significantly in the last several weeks and I have no idea why. It doesn’t appear to be tied to any one particular type of story, either. I don’t know if the algorithm on FB has shifted to make the blog more visible or whether it’s some sort of organic/serendipitous development. 

Whoever you are, it’s nice to have you along for the ride. 

Village Green/Town² Comments

Today Only! All Roads Lead to Rain

Rainy day.

Nice Weather for ducks.

If you’re a teacher the words “indoor recess” may make you shudder with thoughts of anticipated chaos. 

I have tried in past blogs to get people excited about thinking of the best places to go in Howard County when it rains. This effort was not successful. Either all of you hate rain or you can’t think of even one good local place to go when it’s wet outside. 

I will not attempt this again. Besides, today is Wednesday: you’re very likely going to work, and most kids are at school. There’s no time in the schedule for fun rainy day activities, anyway.

Whether you hate rainy days or love them, the fact is that we’re behind on rain this year. And, gosh darn it, we need rain. I went looking for a list of reasons why rain is important to us and it didn’t go exactly as planned. I searched “why rain benefits communities” and the vast majority were “the benefits of rain gardens in the community.”

One outlined the benefits of storing rainwater. It was from a rain barrel merchant.

Well, if you’re interested in either, Howard County has opportunities for you.

Here’s a desperate plea for engagement - - an informal reader poll! (Humor me.) Today’s comments section devoted to the following:

• I love rain, and this is why.
• I hate rain, and this is why.
• Meh. (Include explanation, if any.)

A personal recommendation for the day - - your local library has all your rainy day preferences covered. Love rain? They’ve got all kinds of rain-themed materials to enhance your wet weather joy. Hate rain? Explore a multitude of other worlds and activities where not one drop falls to spoil your mood. Meh? Our library system has so many different kinds of materials and offerings to spark your imagination and lift your case of the blahs.

You can listen to the sounds of the pitter patter at the East Columbia branch. 

Or you can see how the plants enjoy the rain in the Enchanted Garden at the Miller Branch.

Don’t forget to bring your library card so you are ready for your #librarycardadventure. I know mine is around here somewhere.

Village Green/Town² Comments 

HoCo Stuff. And Nonsense

Once upon a time I saw a cartoon that showed a kid at someone’s door promoting the school fundraiser. The gist of it was, no one wanted to buy the product du jour. But when the kid offered to take away stuff the homeowner was trying to get rid of - - for a fee, of course - - it suddenly became the best fundraiser ever. I wish I had saved that cartoon. It was meant to be humorous but I still think it’s a brilliant concept.

I hate throwing things away knowing they’ll just go in a landfill. I find great satisfaction matchmaking my no longer needed items in my Buy Nothing Group. But there’s a sort of let down or sense of failure when nobody wants Your Thing. Case in point: two well-loved plastic cutting boards. 

I can’t convince anyone to give them a new life with some kind of creative reuse and if I throw them away they will sit in a landfill forever. So they are sitting in my house instead. My house: the secondary landfill. 

Bah, humbug.

The topic is on my mind this morning because of something I saw on Facebook about an ecologically friendly way to pass along unwanted stuff. Somehow I got the impression that it was a County initiative. So this morning I looked in all the places one might find announcements of County initiatives.

Zip.

I finally located a screenshot - - in my collection of eight million screenshots - -  and it’s not County related whatsoever. What I saw was an advert. Here it is:

GreenDrop® is a for-profit company and registered professional fundraiser where required. We accept donations on behalf of and pay our nonprofit and charity partners for your stuff, helping them to fund programs in your community.

Why did I come away with the impression that this is a County initiative? Probably because I saw that the drop off was located at the Library and because the text is full of green, eco-friendly language. To be honest, it’s also because I was skimming and didn’t take the time to truly process what I was seeing.

If I had blithely shared something I had only a vague impression of…Well, that would be a lot like what happens on the Internet every day. Oof. 

So, here’s the deal. The GreenDrop drop-off location is in Ellicott City. It looks like this:

GreenDrop is operated by Savers Value Village. That’s a link to the Wikipedia entry, which is…interesting. I’d be interested in your thoughts. 

The charity that will benefit from the Howard County drop-offs is the American Red Cross. 

GreenDrop certainly isn’t the only company soliciting drop-offs of your cast-offs in Howard County. It’s just the newest kid on the block. They want things that are potentially re-sale able (is that a word?) in their Value Village stores. Think new or lightly-used. They are not in any way a recycling operation.

I didn’t get any clear idea of what happens to the donated items that can’t be sold. What do you think?

If there’s a lesson here, it’s this:  I was so invested in wanting to believe I was seeing some sort of Cinderella experience for unwanted stuff that I read into it positive attributes that weren’t even there. That bothers me. I think of myself as a savvy consumer. I let myself down here.

I still want to believe there’s a magic wand on that end when the magic is probably needed more on the other end: don’t bring more stuff into your house in the first place. 

If you want those two cutting boards or have ideas for their creative reuse, let me know.

Village Green/Town² Comments 

Unfiltered

My morning schedule is off due to what might be labeled “moderate oversleeping.” I’m usually up between four and five and, believe it or not, it takes all of that preparation time for my brain to be ready to form words I’m comfortable putting out into the world.

I don’t usually do this, but I’m just going to rant a bit. You have been warned.

“One Size Fits All!”

Have you ever seen this claim for a product? Has it ever, ever been true?

I am frustrated this morning with the practice of blaming everything on one particular cause or claiming that your one solution will solve all problems. The proponents of this approach are zealous. 

My opinion: this does not help. 

We cannot have one balanced discussion about classroom overcrowding (or many other local topics) without someone uttering the word “developer” and derailing it. It’s no longer a discussion. It’s the equivalent of what happens when someone yells “Fire!” in a crowded theater.

Then we have those who are sure that the only solution to problems on their side of town is to snatch away opportunity on the other side of town.  The only solution.

I don’t believe it. I don’t believe that there’s just one cause for blame or just one solution for what you want.

One size does not fit all. 

After awhile these claims begin to feel like the ubiquitous ads on YouTube for that “viral, miracle pink salt treatment that works just like Ozempic!” Loud, relentless, and almost impossible to believe.

I’m not suggesting that there’s anything disingenuous about this. I think that these folks are sincere in their beliefs. I, too, am sincere. And I would like to respectfully disagree with them. 

It’s never just one thing. I wonder if we could learn more and do more good if we took a step back and tried to learn how all the pieces fit together.

Village Green/Town² Comments

The Spirit of Columbia: Aglow

Some years back, during that window of time when I really, really cared about being involved in Columbia Association happenings and goings on, I found myself singing the same song over and over again on my blog and in meetings of the CA Board of Directors.

Why are we making decisions when young people and families with young children aren’t in the room? Why don’t we make it easy for them to be in the room? It looks like the powers that be don’t want them to be in the room. 

I was pretty passionate about it. 

My reasoning was that, if we want Columbia to live on into the future, we need to be including people of younger generations every step of the way. And not just including them, but empowering them. The exhilaration felt by participating in the creation of Columbia ought to be shared by newer generations as they participate in having significant roles in its continuation. 

This was not exactly a welcome message. I decided that I was done fighting those battles with those people.

All of those memories came rushing back when a friend shared a recent news article, complete with video, from The Banner. 

The Glow: An underground circus thrives in a Columbia backyard, Lillian Reed, Baltimore Banner

This is the accompanying video piece.

What’s this? An underground circus? In Columbia?

For the past five years, “The Glow,” an underground variety show that runs just two days a year, has hidden in plain sight in the Columbia village of Kings Contrivance, its cult following so word-of-mouth that many in Howard County don’t know it exists.

Even if you can’t access the article, watch the video.

My immediate thought: honestly, I didn’t know that Columbia was so cool. There’s life in the old gal yet.

My second thought: here they are. This is the younger generation that was consistently not invited to the table when decisions were being made. Young folks. Families with young children. Even if they seemed invisible during those long and ponderous meetings of the select few. 

Here they are. Building their own Columbia. Celebrating their own community experiences. Making their own creative worlds. I must say, it doesn’t look at all the way I imagined it and that’s probably why I love it so much. Here is the zany, collaborative spirit that lit an earlier generation on fire circa 1967. 

Cardboard boat races? Inflatable college buildings? Meet underground backyard circus.

Silly me. I should have known. When you don’t invite the younger generation to your party, they make their own party. 

Do I have any concerns as I view the video footage of a cheering crowd and brightly-arrayed circus performers? Sadly, yes. I’m waiting for the inevitable “neighbors complain to city council” piece on Fox 45. 

I sure hope that doesn’t happen. We have enough killjoys right here in River City. They don’t need any out-of-town assistance. 

“The world is full of uncertainty, especially right now,” said Caitlin Weiger, an aerialist who performs in a duo with Cooper. “It’s so nice to have a base of people that love you, support you no matter what, let you be your most authentic, weirdest self.”

Well, what do you know? Cities are fun. 

Village Green/Town² Comments

Colorful, Fresh! And…Prohibited?

 

At six-fifteen am the temperature is 56 degrees, it’s foggy and the humidity is 100 per cent: ugh. Projections are for sun, though, and pollen will be middling. 

What? Don’t you check the weather before you make plans?

There are plenty of things to do around town and you know where to look for them by now, I guess. And you know I’m always going to put in a plug for the Farmers’ Markets: Clarksville Commons and Old Ellicott City.

I’m personally intrigued by this event:

Your new favorite outdoor art hangout!

SCRIBBLE! A DRAWING HANGOUT FOR MARYLAND CREATIVES PRESENTS:

SCRIBBLIN IN THE PARK SEPTEMBER 13 11-1 PM CENTENNIAL PARK

Your favorite outdoor art hangout! Pack your supplies, projects, something comfy to sit on, and enjoy an afternoon of sketching, painting, and creating in good company.

Please watch posted video on our Facebook and Instagram pages for walking guide to find our spot!

ALL ART STYLES, SKILL LEVELS, & MEDIUMS WELCOME!

CENTENNIAL LAKE BOAT RAMP LOT 10000 CLARKSVILLE PIKE ELLICOTT CITY, MD 21042

 @WEBESCRIBBLIN - RSVP LINK IN BIO

They’re also doing regular meetups at Busboys and Poets, so check their Facebook and Instagram. Since they recommend bring something comfy to sit on, this suggests that you’ll be working on your lap as opposed to a flat surface like a table - - but, I could be wrong.

It’s free but they do ask you to RSVP.

*****

The local story that is, frankly, blowing my mind is the one about fruits and vegetables.

'They fit in with the town': Eggplant, giant peach sprout controversy in Ellicott City, Tommie Clark, WBAL 11 TV

You know about the eggplant. It started as an ArtSites exhibit in front of the Howard County Tourist Center. Through the efforts (and probably funds) of a local group it stayed on as a fixture at The Wine Bin. Then in June The Wine Bin posted a welcome to a new sculpture on Main Street: a peach at Georgia Grace Café. I’m pretty sure it is the work of the same artist, Jan Kirsch.

 

My opinion? They’re fun. They make people smile. I bet folks enjoy taking their pictures with them, too.

I was flabbergasted to learn in the WBAL 11 TV story above that the Historic Preservation Commission wants none of this and seems prepared to run them (roll them?) out of town. Their objections: you didn’t get permission, they’re not historic enough, they might be offensive…(yes, I know about the emojis. I have seen no evidence that these sculptures have anything to do with that.)

Oh, brother.

This makes about as much sense as Victorians putting skirts on piano legs. (Although that story is, apparently, a myth.)

Sure, Main Street in Old Ellicott City is historic. It is also primarily a retail/dining district. It could be the most perfectly preserved historical promenade and yet still die without active commerce. Main Street is not Colonial Williamsburg. The Commission has neither the money nor muscle to operate it as a museum.

Historic preservation is important. But are the actions being taken in Ellicott City an appropriate use of the Commission's role? 

This part of the article puzzled me:

Don Reuwer, who manages numerous Main Street properties as president of the Waverly Real Estate Group, helped gather hundreds of signatures to keep the sculptures.

"Unfortunately, the chairperson told me that they weren't interested in the petitions that actually said that the merchants are only temporary, so they don't matter. And frankly, that was just the straw that broke the camel's back for me," Reuwer told 11 News.

I’m aware that news articles don’t always contain every piece of information and that quotes are sometimes partial or inaccurate. Or I may be misunderstanding entirely what Reuwer said. But…

This appears to suggest that the Preservation Commission views business owners as itinerant vendors, the sort who set up to hawk their wares at a carnival. They, the Historic Preservation Commission, are eternal. Others will come and go.

If I were a business owner in Main Street that I would find that deeply offensive. Think floods. Think recovery. Think coming back from pandemic losses.

I posted the news article on the Howard County, Maryland Facebook page. There were a few people trying to explain the emoji reference to me, bless them, but most thought the objections were misplaced. Will the opinions of the community have any sway here? I don’t know. But I wish they’d ponder at least one of those comments which sums up everything to me:

They're quirky and smart and so is Main Street. They need to stay.

What do you think?

Village Green/Town² Comments 

F ³: Good Intentions

 

The road to hell is paved with good intentions. It’s an old saying. We don’t exactly know how old. Considering how vividly we are experiencing the road to hell these days, without any good intentions whatsoever, it can be hard to believe that good intentions could go amiss.

Case in point: in pondering the murder of conservative media personality Charlie Kirk this week I found myself mulling over something which has been upsetting me for a long time: laughing at/celebrating the suffering of others. In light of that, I posted the following on social media:

You always lose something when you laugh at the suffering of others. It isn’t simply demoralizing to people you don’t like. You damage yourself. You chip away at the most precious part of what makes you human.

My words received positive feedback. I felt I had done the best I could with the feelings I had. Then I came across a post on Bluesky, unrelated to mine, that gave me pause.

Whiteness only demands civility and grace in response to calls for accountability and responsibility for whiteness and white supremacism.

The poster was someone I have come to trust and respect. The words made me uncomfortable. Is that what I was doing? I didn’t mean to do that. It troubled me. I know from past experience that “not meaning to” is not the same as not actually doing the thing. 

Later in the day, someone I know in real life called me on my words. Again, this was someone I have come to trust and respect. 

It doesn’t feel great when that happens. But, perhaps because of what I had read earlier, I was ready to address it. 

I agree with you completely. I have not one redemptive thing to say about the deceased. No one should be forced to say kind things that aren’t true nor should anyone be forced to silence truthful dissent in the name of “civil behavior.”

But I do believe that outright laughing and enjoying the suffering of others is deeply…damaging. 

I could be wrong. This is an opinion I have arrived at and not the result of scientific study. It could simply be a touchy feely tender hearted notion. 

When I see how unashamedly the British are still laughing at the demise of Hitler, well - - it makes me wonder.

The response was pretty blunt: you’re wrong. You’re wrong, and this is why. The reasoning was solid. I felt a little naked.  “But I didn’t think…”

Hello, road to hell. I meant well. But I didn’t think. And now I really needed to. I responded:

Then I need to examine how I got here, and understand how to do better, and make that change. Thank you for taking the time to call me out.

So how did I get here? I thought about how much is upset me when people on the Right laughed at and celebrated human suffering. So it was only fair that I should be equally opposed to people on the Left doing it. Sure, it’s easy to pass judgement on the other guys. How easy is it to keep your high standards when the shoe is on the other foot?

Makes sense, yes?

But what kind of suffering has been breaking my heart over the last year? Genocide in Gaza, masked enforcers disappearing people off the street, horrific conditions in what can only be called concentration camps…

I do think that the growing ability of people to laugh at that is scary. But I guess this is where my good intentions went off the rails.

The murder of Charlie Kirk was the murder of someone who actively promoted harm to people he didn’t like or didn’t agree with. Who is to say if he laughed but we do know that he said that God gives us rights which must be protected by accepting regular gun deaths.

1. This actively promotes harm while wrapping it in some kind of religious mandate.
2. It’s heresy. But that’s another story altogether.

At the very least, I was comparing apples and oranges. Or establishing a false equivalency, if you will. So, that’s how I got here.

My friend pointed out that grief is personal. And that’s true. I had been so absorbed in setting up a perfect and fair balance in my own mind that this is the part I completely missed. People respond in different ways. How was I to know what it would feel like to be someone who had been explicitly and repeated targeted by Kirk as they reacted to the news that he was no more?

What if someone killed your abuser? How would you feel? Or if it were someone who invaded your country or stole your good name?  Honestly you might laugh because of the sheer unexpectedness of it. Or you might laugh in relief that the bad things would cease. Humans are weird/wired that way. 

I wasn’t even thinking about that. And here’s the part that makes me squirm and why I am making myself put this out in public: I was probably thinking about “folks like me.” The people I can see my reflection in so well that I forget there are other people. 

God help me. I do not mean to do the things I do. But I placed myself at the center of the world here.  

We have a choice. I have a choice - - to stop and think. To examine the experiences of others. To be open to those moments when people call us out. I haven’t always been. Am I learning?

Not as fast as I’d like.

Village Green/Town² Comments 

A Single Ray of Light

“If you want to do something in honor of 9/11, acknowledge a stranger, a fellow human, instead of ignoring or (worse) fearing them.”

- - Mike Morucci, Howard County writer (and friend)

I have shared these words so often that one of these days Mr. Morucci may send me a bill.

I am placing them here again because of a single ray of light that came into a dark day yesterday.  Light that comes from a garden. 

All images from Howard County Government social media

From the Facebook page of County Executive Calvin Ball:

It was a thrill to join The Community Ecology Institute to celebrate the publication of a new peer reviewed article, titled "Community Gardens and the Cultivation of Social Capital", in Current Opinion in Psychology.

The research backing this article, built on 50 studies, shows how community gardens build resilience, foster belonging, and strengthen civic life. It highlights what we see every day through CEI’s programs—gardens bringing neighbors together, bridging differences, and linking communities to critical resources.

Congratulations to Dr. D’Amore and the CEI team on this milestone. Their work continues to make Howard County a national leader in connecting people, place, and planet.

The full article will be featured in the February 2026 issue of Current Opinion in Psychology.

Building community can build empathy. Building empathy can promote better mental health and wellbeing and even prevent crime. Building and maintaining community gardens can help feed the hungry and empower those who feel disempowered. Can we just stop for a minute and see how meaningful this is?

From the Community Ecology Institute:

The article highlights how community gardens build strong connections between neighbors, boost well-being and strengthen civic engagement. In other words, shared green spaces grow more than food—they cultivate trust, connection, and resilience in our communities! 

We all have memories of how we experienced 9/11/01 - - if we were alive then or old enough to remember. I feel fortunate that, over time, my friend Mike’s words have become woven into those memories. 

If you want to do something in honor of 9/11, acknowledge a stranger, a fellow human, instead of ignoring or (worse) fearing them.

That is why I can recognize the news from the Community Ecology Institute for what it is. Those who come to the community garden at Freetown Farm are acknowledged as fellow humans. It is not a place where they will be ignored or feared as strangers. 

Shared work, shared learning, shared growth.

At first people refuse to believe a strange new thing can be done, then they see it be done - then it is done and all the world wonders why it was not done centuries ago.

- - Frances Hodgson Burnett, The Secret Garden

Village Green/Town² Comments

A Lasting Gift: The Barber, the Barbershop, the Community

 

Less than a year ago I was was inspired by an article in the Banner to write this piece:

One Hundred Years and Other Good News, Village Green/Town² October 21, 2024

The Banner article:

Columbia barbershop marks 100 years of haircuts and mentoring Black barbers, Jess Nocera, Baltimore Banner  

It’s because of Ms. Nocera that I learned about the history of Warren’s Barbershop, now in Owen Brown, and of its long-time Howard County owner, Julius Warren, Jr.

His son, Mr. Julius, joined the family [barbershop] business when he was 13. That’s when his father handed him his first pair of clippers. 

“Being a barber was one of the best businesses to have back then,” said Mr. Julius, who took over the shop from his father in 1981…

Yesterday Nocera was back with more about Warren and his life’s work as she penned his final story.

Julius Warren Jr., Black-owned barbershop owner, was an institution in Howard County, Jess Nocera, Baltimore Banner

Also noteworthy: Warren was a 1955 graduate of Harriet Tubman School.  You may remember how I learned about the value and power of a good haircut to students at Harriet Tubman from a talk by fellow-graduate Bessie Bordenave in 2017.

Helping to keep members of the community looking good and feeling good - - I’m paraphrasing County Executive Calvin Ball here - - was and is a far bigger deal than many of us who are white can imagine. In a culture that has long insisted that white skin and white hair are The Norm, the creation of spaces where Black Americans were welcomed and valued has been hugely important. (Still worth watching: Henry Louis Gates, Jr’s “Making Black America: Through the Grapevine” on PBS.)

Days after Warren died the barbershop that had been his life’s work held their sixth annual back-to-school event. That must have been hard to do. Think of how you would feel under those circumstances.

Here’s a flyer from last years’s event to give you an idea. 

A few days after Mr. Warren died, the barbershop held its annual back-to-school festival, complete with free haircuts and a live band.

When Clark spoke about Warren at the community day last month, he looked out to the crowd and was filled with joy.

“I looked around at the whole bunch of people and knew this all started because of Mr. Julius,” Clark said in an interview Friday. Clark and Julius Warren III now co-own the barbershop.

It’s impossible to ignore the common thread in both of these articles: hard work, mentoring, teaching, learning, fostering relationships, engaging in community service. As much as these themes are imparted to the reader, it’s even clearer to see just how deeply they have been imprinted on Warren’s children.

Brittany Warren and her brother, Julius Warren III, want to start a foundation to honor their father’s legacy by helping young Black entrepreneurs start their own businesses.

The Instagram account for Warren’s Barber Shop announced the passing of Mr. Julius and shared funeral arrangements, along with a song. I’m listening to it now and giving thanks for his life and legacy.

Village Green/Town² Comments

HumanEyes

 

What makes us care? Better yet, what makes us stop long enough to really see?

We live in the firehose blast of constant information trying to sell us something or shape our opinions. Much of it is loud. Or aggressive. We mute the sound on television adverts, scroll quickly through exhausting online solicitations and diatribes. 

Sometimes it is the quiet things that speak to us. Something gently humorous, perhaps, that appeals to our humanity. 

Eyes, for instance. 

We are hardwired to see faces even when faces aren’t particularly there. So when a normally inanimate object appears to take on a personality…

Case in point: Mr. Trash Wheel.  This adorable front man for the Waterfront Partnership/Healthy Harbor initiative appeared in 2015 and stole my heart. He also captured the imagination of many in Baltimore and beyond. Mr. Trash Wheel has his own website, Instagram account, and his popularity has spawned a veritable family of other trash wheels. He's even a movie star.

What’s the big deal? It’s a thing/vehicle/machine, invented by Baltimore entrepreneur John Kellett, that collects trash in the Baltimore harbor. That doesn’t sound very exciting. Well, it’s the eyes. Look at them. 

Mr. Trash Wheel doesn’t yell or leap out at you from the screen in animated frenzy. He does his job, he loves his work, and he invites the public to come along for the ride, as it were. Because of a clear commitment to an ongoing social media presence, Mr. Trash Wheel has a personality and a sense of humor.

After a while you find yourself rooting for him. Maybe you don’t toss that soda can in the ground. Perhaps you join in a neighborhood stream cleanup. 

Meanwhile, back at the ranch…

Image from Live Green Howard social media 

Name The Food Scrap Bins

Did you know? You can drop off your food scraps in collection bins at the Residents' Conveniece Center at Alpha Ridge Landfill! These hungry fellas need a name, so Howard County's Bureau of Environmental Services is hosting a naming contest. Submit your entries by Friday, September 19!

 - - Live Green Howard 

While some folks are able to Feed the Green Bin at home to keep food scraps out of the landfill, some areas don’t have that service yet or some may not want to take on the care and feeding of yet another bin. But we know that food decomposing in a landfill gives off harmful greenhouse gases which are bad for the environment. Hence,  Live Green Howard is offering a new choice to participate in turning that garbage into something ‘green’ - - compost. 

And they have eyes. Hmm…do you think he looks like Oobi?

Now they need names. And they need friends. Well, you know. They need the community to care about what they do and what they’re all about. 

So maybe you can enter the contest. Perhaps you can share this post, or the contest information from Live Green Howard, amongst your neighbors and friends. I already have a few name ideas…

We don’t always respond well to loud and aggressive promotional campaigns. There’s something refreshing about this approach which aims to humanize an environmental message with, well, human eyes.

Village Green/Town² Comments

The Secret Ingredient is Not a Secret

Three things. 

1. Yesterday County Executive Ball highlighted National Arts in Education Week on his Facebook page. 

The arts connect us, inspire us, and bring our community to life. During National Arts in Education Week, we celebrate how creativity enriches everyone, not just in classrooms and community centers, but across our entire county.

In Howard County, we advocate for the arts. From featuring local artwork at bus stops, to revitalizing community poetry through our Poet Laureate program, to building a new Performing Arts Center in Downtown Columbia to serve as a hub for our local artists and productions.

The arts are thriving here—and with continued investment and support, they will only grow stronger, creating spaces for expression, connection, and joy for all.

2. It caught my eye because I had just finished listening to an episode of IMO, where co-hosts Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson interview Barack Obama on the topic, “Focus on What’s Right About Young Men.” The conversation centers around a listener question about positive ways to raise boys in our culture. 

There’s a lot in there, and I’ll leave it to you to delve in if you wish. Something that struck me was the suggestion that it’s not healthy to do just one thing or have just one interest to the exclusion of everything else. As an example, sports or video games can be all-consuming but they won’t necessarily open you up to larger worlds. The hosts specifically mention involvement in the arts as a gateway to different ways of seeing, feeling, and interacting.

3. I don’t think they name it specifically, but a big part of the “why” here is how arts education helps to foster perspective-taking and empathy. Everyone needs these to be fully human and engaged with the world around them in a healthy way. But we have traditionally raised boys by a standard that is especially lacking in developing these qualities.

You are much less likely to laugh at the suffering of others if you have had experiences connecting with the humanity of others through the arts. You are much more likely to consider other points of view instead of merely shutting them out. Imagine how that would impact the nation we are living in today.

I suspect this is why totalitarian regimes come for the humanities in general and arts in particular. It’s extremely important for them to have significant numbers of people who will laugh at the suffering of others and who will shut down new ideas without considering them. 

And another thing. I keep reading about something called “the crisis of male loneliness.” How can they possibly escape loneliness if we raise them without the crucial tools to be connected with the people around them? It is as cruel as ancient practices like foot binding which insisted on crippling pain to produce a “feminine” ideal. 

Arts education is not the only way, but it is both a broad and appealing way to deepen hearts and expand minds. Valuing these opportunities in our community tells our young people that we value their innate humanity and encourage them to grow into thoughtful, capable, and caring adults.

*****

Bonus content: Dan and Claudia Zanes Make Beautiful Music Together, Max Weiss, Baltimore Magazine (See how many examples of empathy and perspective-taking come up in this piece!)

Unseasonable Saturday

 

So far the topic of today’s blog is “You can’t make me.”  It’s partly cloudy, the humidity is high, it might rain. Go out there and have fun.

Blah. It’s too hot and damp to feel any inkling of an energetic Fall vibe. Drink all the pumpkin spice you want. You can’t convince me that this is anything more than sad, leftover summer.

With apologies for my bad attitude, I must acknowledge that there are plenty of things to do around town today and I encourage you to get out there and enjoy them. If you are called to do so, that is.

As always, don’t forget the markets at Clarksville Commons and Old Ellicott City. Bonus: check out the TARDIS.

Check out what’s available at Facebook events, Visit Howard County, and The Columbia Mom will apparently send you this information upon request. (Check her Instagram.)

A few things:

1. Does anyone know why Howard County Public Schools host churches? That feels weird to me but I don’t know the history. I wonder if it has anything to do with Rouse’s vision of not including freestanding, single-denomination houses of worship in Columbia. 

2. Despite my creative interpretation, Offshore is having a buffet lunch with a DJ, not a Jimmy Buffet lunch. I mean, “DJ Buffet Lunch” - - it’s open to multiple possibilities, right? 

Well…no. The singer’s name ends in two t’s and I need more coffee. Please don’t go to Offshore in search of a Cheeseburger in Paradise.

There’s a ton of stuff going on today at Freetown Farm and at the Harriet Tubman Center today. Just think: ten years ago there were no community programs happening in either location. What a transformation.

Over at Second Edition Books they’re hosting a book signing with Derrick Credito. In doing a basic Google search I discovered that Credito is:

• a Baltimore-area college English professor.
• a suburban dad in Columbia, Maryland writing folk-rock songs with progressive themes. 

College professor by day, suburban musician dad by night…see what happens when his two worlds  collide! 

That might be a good idea for his next novel.

Do you have a particular event today that you’d like to boost? Let me know.

Village Green/Town² Comments

F ³: Instacart Goes Spotify, Oh My!

 

Why, why, why did Instacart send me a Year in Review report à la Spotify at the end of the summer? Am I not meeting my personal order quotas according to their projections? Did they think that I would think it was cool?

Au contraire. This is painful. Among other things, it reveals me to be the most Boring Person in the World.

(Forgive the string of screenshots. I couldn’t make it fit into one unified image without compromising something.)

Oh, my. I lead such an exciting life that my notable purchases include lactose-free whole milk, bananas, and the Lean Cuisine Meatloaf meal. Instacart thought I needed reminding? Am I supposed to use this information like some kind of bragging rights amongst members of my friend group?

Not likely. Those of you who are ordering fresh basil, burrata, and wagyu steaks are rolling your eyes about now. Oh, the shame of it.

I was surprised to see that I like to order Beauty, Health, and Home Goods products when in fact I order food, food, food, and the occasional laundry soap and ibuprofen. What’s going on there?

The pièce de resistance is their recommendation of two categories I should check out more:

• Alcohol 
• Pets

Friends, if customers do not order from these particular categories it is not because they are simply absentminded or it has never occurred to them. If they don’t order anything for Pets it is because they don’t have pets.

Why aren’t they ordering alcohol? Well, it could be for a variety of reasons and some of them are none of your @#$& business, Instacart. Furthermore, the idea that it’s good business to “suggestive-sell” alcohol is asinine. (Original words redacted.)

Ahem.

I can see encouraging customers to try items from the Florist section or Fresh Prepared Foods. But, holy cow, this was a report put together by a computer and not by a human with any common sense. While we are at it, whoever thought I needed a year in review of my grocery shopping at the beginning of September does not have the sense that God gave a grasshopper.

But maybe they read this report.*

To be honest, nothing about this has harmed me in any way. Instacart provides a useful service and I’m grateful to have that option when I need it. Besides, I guess I should be grateful that there’s no category entitled “Things We Think You Order Too Much”. 

You’ve been eating a lot of those sourdough hard pretzels. May we suggest a raw vegetable tray for your snacking pleasure?

It could happen. 

Village Green/Town² Comments

*Tips For Creating a Year-End Review Like Spotify, Vev Design Blog, Words by Jeff Cardello 11/1/22