Plus Ça Change

This morning we experienced yet another skirmish in the Lunch Bag War. My daughter narrowly escaped a lunch-less school day. Why? Because she didn't return her lunch bag to the kitchen, so it could be washed and refilled. She brings her lunch every other day, and when she comes home, she flings it on the bench along side her book bag and promptly forgets all about it.

The expectation is that she will return it to the kitchen. It is not happening. Is that so much to ask? I think to myself.

Boom.

My mother used to wash and fold my clothes and put them on the stairs for me to carry up and put away. I was a teenager, and just sailed on by those clothes. I don't know why. My mother would eventually bring them upstairs, grumbling mightily about the injustice of it all.

"I just want you to take them upstairs. Is that so much to ask?"

In his play Our Town, set before the First World War, Thornton Wilder paints a similar picture when George, a young man consumed by playing baseball, neglects to chop wood and fill the wood box for his mother. His father sits him down for an earnest 'talking-to'.

It's just a moment in the play, not a central issue. We don't actually learn whether George took this bit of fatherly advice to heart. I wonder.

Young people, notably adolescents, may seem curiously disconnected from what seem like perfectly sane requests from their parents. And those parents, in the face of continuing failure, may seem curiously devoted to approaching the problem in the same way again and again. Whether in the early 1900's, or the 1970's, or today, we engage in the same struggle.

Expectations and boundaries are good. Teaching reponsibility is good. But it is often a very slow process, and I wonder if we contribute to this as parents by persisting in trying to get what we want without examining why or how. I know I get so frustrated when I am in the middle of the thing that problem solving is the last thing on my mind. I get stuck.

The more things change, the more they stay the same.

Or, as my mother used to say, "Someday you'll have a teenage daughter and you'll know how I feel."

 

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Ready, Set: Swap!

So yesterday was Swap Ideas Day. If you don't believe me, check this out. (I, for one, am a little sorry that I missed Lumpy Rug Day and Nothing Day.) Anyway, I put out a call on Facebook, looking for ideas to swap.

No one had any they could spare. Or the time to swap, I guess.

Perhaps idea swapping just gets a bad rap as something one has to do in professional development sessions. Mandatory idea swapping, followed by a pre-determined, canned response from management.

"Let's all play a fun game with our Halloween candy! You can choose the values and the rules for swapping. Good. Now turn in all the candy and go clean your room."

Been there? Me, too.

It is far easier to collect pet peeves than get people to swap ideas. It's easy, it's one-way, no muss, no fuss, no uncomfortable interaction. But one local blogger has been quite successful using the Starbucks approach, with the occasional happy hour thrown in for good measure.

Bill Santos, of Columbia Compass, hosts the SantosSundaySixty at the Starbucks at the Mall in Columbia. It's Coffee Hour without the church. He wants hear what you think, tell you what he thinks, and maybe come up with something new. I challenge you to name anyone who understands what Columbia is and what makes it tick better than Bill does.

He and I don't always agree on local issues. That's not the point. The point is that he's not afraid to be out there, actively idea-swapping, and not just on September 10th. We all need to find a person like this, or be that person, if Columbia is to survive and thrive.

I highly recommend these two recent blog posts:

http://columbiacompass.weebly.com/1/post/2013/09/columbia-maryland-a-leader-in-playground-infrastructure-that-no-one-knows-about.html

And:

http://columbiacompass.weebly.com/1/post/2013/09/the-johnny-people-seed-project.html

One more thing. You might want to try swapping some ideas at the Resident Speak-Out at the CA Board Meeting tomorrow night. It's possible that CA may be looking at new ways to use your Halloween candy.

It's not Starbucks or Frisco, but they do have a Keurig machine and snacks.

hocoblogs@@@

 

 

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Parable of the Seed

Once there was a tree, a lovely decorative apple tree, that lived for many years outside a Columbia home, blooming nicely in the Spring and producing indelible, slippery little apples each year. It was a beautiful little tree, but as time went on it began to fail. As its branches reached closer and closer to the little house, the strength of the tree faded, and it became a hazard. One day it was cut down, and the stump ground down, leaving an open rectangle of mulch right in front of the house.

When Spring came, the owners of the little house cleared the patch of mulch and weeds, and turned the soil. They planted high quality grass seed, and watered faithfully. Nothing happened.

But they did not give up. They planted more high quality grass seed, watered faithfully, and were cheered when a bit of grass began to sprout. And yet, when summer came to an end, the little patch looked like this:

The open patch had been filled by an invasive and highly successful ground-cover. At the very center, a tiny tuft of "real" grass stood alone.

The meaning of the Parable is as follows:

Of course it isn't a parable. It is a true story, and I don't know what to make of it. Should I feel defeated that we could not grow "real" grass, or satisfied that most of the patch has filled in with something green and growing? Is that enough, or should I want more?

What is growth? What is success? And what is the best response?

Now if it were a parable...how would you interpret it? Is the "real" grass the Columbia Pioneer, trying to hold off the invasion of those who are not true to Rouse's vision? Or does the comparison between the two only highlight how much we need to understand people and opinions different from our own?

I drove by the Rouse building twice yesterday. It looks vulnerable somehow. And yet I don't feel sad because this is the work of restoration and improvement. What we think of as 'our old building' is a part of a new plan, not the victim of a wrecking ball.

There will be life there. It will be different, yes. But we can put ourselves into the parable as it evolves.

The story continues.

hocoblogs@@@

 

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Cheap at Twice the Price

A quick note this morning. I spotted a publicity poster for this interesting event on Facebook. I bring your attention to the circled item.

 

I feel reasonably certain that Dennis would have pointed out that, as political events are coming thick and fast these days, any event with "no speeches" would be cheap at twice the price.

hocoblogs@@@

 

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Monday Morning Quarterbacking

I don't follow football. In fact, I truly don't like football. But the enthusiasm with which Marshmallow Man of The 53 Blog prepares for this yearly set of rituals makes me smile. It just makes me happy to see someone so full of enjoyment. For me, the only equivalent I can think of is going to the closet under the stairs and getting out the Christmas boxes. What a joy it is to unpack, decorate, plan menus, and look forward to seeing friends.

So I don't pass judgement.

My daughter Alice, of HoCoHouseHon Blog, has come to the celebration of football as an adult. You can check out her take on the game here. Although there is little to no support for football on either side of her family, she has found her own way to enjoy it--at first through her husband's eyes--and found a way to just let go and have fun.

So I don't pass judgement.

At our house, we follow baseball. I follow the Orioles because my husband follows the Orioles. And he follows the Orioles because he is a good loyal sort of fellow who, after coming here from Belfast, N.I., realized he couldn't really follow cricket anymore. So, we go to the occasional home game, have a few team shirts, and watch many, many games at home on TV.

Yesterday was an uncomfortable day for local sports, in my opinion, because the Ravens and the Orioles were both playing, and well, you know the rest of that story. So George and Alice were at the Second Chance cheering on the Ravens and we were home watching the Orioles. And nobody passed judgement on anybody else, because that's how families are.

And I, for one, am grateful for that.

Can I get an Amen?

@hocoblogs@@@

 

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A Baaaaad Plaaannn

Back when all of our kids were young, my sister and brother-in-law had two ways to categorize behavior when it came to their two rambunctious boys. Was it an "accident"? Or was it a "bad plan"? I remember hearing my ever-patient brother-in-law call out, "Don't do it, Greg!" in a warning tone before one of these incidents would occur. And then, the aftermath.

"That was a baaaaad plaaannn, Greg."

This expression came to mind when I was discussing pet peeves with my local Facebook friends. I was stumped by the following:

"The general request for the need for "walkability" when no one wants to walk more than 50 feet to get into a store...or the gym."

She elaborated, "There are many, many people who like to walk, or bike around town. The people who annoy me are the ones who "claim" to want walkability and then complain when they can't get a close parking space."

Hmm...I had to think about that. It stayed in my head most of the day. It was a holiday, and there was a sale at Joann's, so I popped over to look for some bargains. I was not alone.

It was hot, and I was cranky and annoyed. And then I thought of what my friend said. "...the ones who "claim" to want walkability and then complain when they can't get a close parking space." And, right there in the hot and crowded parking lot, I had an epiphany.

This is not Walkability. This is a Baaad Plaaannn.

This particular parking lot, at Columbia Crossing on Dobbin, is a sea of concrete where walking isn't even on the menu. I believe Jessie Newburn has opined quite eloquently on this already.(http://ow.ly/oy3oA)  All one can hope for is the closest parking place. Everything else is Purgatory or Hell for pedestrians. The retail establishment and the automobile have been planned for, the walker is an afterthought.

Yes, I am certainly capable of walking this distance, even on a hot day. But that is not the point. Walkability is not simply about the ability and or desire to walk more. It is a quality of life issue. Let us improve the experience of walking as we go about our daily lives, shopping, going to work, school, community events. As long as our experience is improved only by snagging the close parking space, we continue to be mired in an outdated and moribund sea of concrete.

We are capable of making better choices. Will Columbia Crossing ever be transformed? Or will it slowly wither as newer ways to shop are planned and come to fruition--places where Walkability is central to The Plan.

Stay tuned, Columbia.

hocoblogs@@@

 

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Pet Peeves and Pedestrians

Sunday morning I asked the following question on Facebook:

What's your (local) pet peeve?

I got a boat-load of responses. Here they are:

Street sweepers. Really? My money is paying for that 2 times per year???

Car drivers that ignore traffic coming from Sohap, at the stop sign at Oakland Mills Road and Sohap Lane.

Well we kinda covered it this morning, but people who loiter and hurl trash and beer bottles on the ground. They have no respect for how hard the rest of us have worked so that we all have a nice place to live. Then they wonder why businesses pack up move elsewhere.

Cigarette butts thrown out of car windows and on the ground...the world is my ashtray. We should implement that $1500 littering fine.

No bike rack at the elementary school.

The fine should be $1500 normally and $3000 if you have a "Choose Civility" sticker on your car.

Julia Jackson McCready Well, you got me going pondering a blog post. I know that X. has serious issues with people who let their dogs use the pathways as bathrooms...

I only get to pick one?

Julia Jackson McCready Oh, go to town! It just has to be local.

No bike rack at my apartment complex!

The general request for the need for "walkability" when no one wants to walk more than 50 feet to get into a store...or the gym.

Julia Jackson McCready I'll get right on that!

Julia Jackson McCready I mean, in reference to the bike rack.

Julia Jackson McCready As to walkability, I don't agree. It is people like my daughter (26) who want walkability, and they really do walk! Amazing, but they do and they think all this driving is lame.

I'd walk everywhere if I could. And had all the time in the world. (I know, it's apartment-specific, so I have to bug them. Re: bike rack.)

There are many, many people who like to walk, or bike around town. The people who annoy me are the ones who "claim" to want walkability and then complain when they can't get a close parking space.

Julia Jackson McCready Ah...

Don't know if its all schools but Bryant Woods doesn't have a bike rack.

I cannot stand when people blow through stop signs, Thunder Hill RD, especially when I am at the cross walk with the furries starting to cross! Someone is gonna die before action is taken!

Julia Jackson McCready The crosswalk at Thunder Hill and Whiteacre has been repainted several times, but the paint fades almost immediately, what is up with that?

Even fresh they do not see it...be careful!

And walkability is why we chose Columbia over Ellicott city. It is a huge thing for us. HUGE.... As we just biked to Centennial safely. And walk to schools safely. And scenically.

Seriously, I cannot count how many almost accidents I have seen and how many people have nearly been hit there due to people not stopping! I have waited several minutes there to cross as people will not stop!!!!

Julia Jackson McCready I know. Do we need a light?

I do not know about a light, but the humps may help. I think that traffic calming like they have infront of Oakland Mills Middle or High would be AWESOME.

Oh and another thing, when they drive 60+ down the midde turn lane! So dangerous!!!!!

I hate it when people blow through the red lights. Happens on almost every light where I see 3-4 cars begin to turn AFTER the light has already turned red. Throws off the whole traffic pattern! Also, the fact that no one seems to understand that pedestrians have the right-of-way. I hate trying to cross in a parking lot and fearing having my toes run over. And if we're getting really local, though it isn't in Columbia, I HATE the intersection outside of my house. (Laurel) Too many accidents, way too many close calls. It also brings out the worst in people.

People taking a a right turn onto Tamar, doing a U-turn at full speed in the middle of Tamar, and then turning right back onto 175 just to avoid sitting at the red light a couple of minutes!

Julia Jackson McCready Yow!

All of the above and for speeding cars on Thunder Hill Road.

Julia Jackson McCready Lord, hear our prayer.

People who slow down for the speed humps on Elliot's Oak Rd. If you drive the speed limit, there is NO need to slow down. They are the best laid out speed humps in Columbia.

Ooh. I never thought about that.

Oh, those are also the people who slow way down for the speed humps and immediately speed up too fast only to slow waaay down again for the next one. I think unkind thoughts regularly.

That would make me carsick!

1- people not stopping at the crosswalk at Thunder Hill and Whiteacre to let these children cross the road 2- people not stopping at stop signs on Thunder Hill Rd. at Sohap and Oakland mills Rd at Sohap! It is unreal!

Re walkability: lack of sidewalks/bike lanes because it is assumed that people will drive from say, Hickory Ridge Rd to Stevens Forest Rd. Or along Oakland Mills & up Snowden River Parkway to do shopping.

*****

Notice anything? A lot of them have to do with the pedestrian experience. I'm going to focus on the Walkability issue in tomorow's blog post.

I noticed something else, as well. When I asked folks to get excited about Columbia, I received zero responses. Pet peeves? Forty-one.

hocoblogs@@@

 

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