Village Green/Town²

Getting mad at your blog is like getting mad at your mirror or your scale. If you don't like what you see you have no one to blame but yourself, or bad genetics, I suppose. Getting mad that you have at least five bad ideas for a blog post and not a single good one is merely a reflection of your own short-comings. Not that I would know. Just passing along that wisdom. From a friend. Along with that I'm passing along some great advice I really didn't want to get during the past year: *****You have to go door-to-door. *****If you call out someone on your blog, even if you don't mention them by name, you're basically saying, "come at me, bro'!" *****Don't be bitter. Just sharing in case you, um, you know, need some unwanted advice for the year 2013. As for the year 2014, here's some advice I'm giving myself, for starters: *****Try something different. *****Be bold. *****Make your own fun. It is one-forty in the afternoon a...

I woke up far too early this morning, came downstairs to read and fell asleep on the couch. At some point I thought I heard movement upstairs, and so I thought someone would be coming downstairs. I tried to stir myself and couldn't. I lay there on the couch, trying to wave my arm or call out, but nothing happened. And then it happened again, in the same sequence. I thought I heard something, tried to move... This happened a total of four times, back to back, with varying details: it was my husband, it was my daughter, a television was turned on, coffee was brewed. But in all of them I was completely unable to move. And no one would help me. I opened my eyes. Finally. I was actually able to open my eyes. I heard water running upstairs, then a door opening. My daughter came down the stairs. I don't think I have ever been so happy to sit up. I knew right away that I had been trapped in a moment of sleep paralysis. It has occurred only a few times in my life, thank goodness. N...

A Rite for Teenification   Question: Do you renounce all of your mother's values? Answer: I renounce them.   Question: Do you renounce all of your father's points of view? Answer: I renounce them.   Question: Do you renounce all sinful desires that draw you from the love of material possessions? Answer: I renounce them.   Question: Do you turn to television and pop music celebrities and accept them as role models? Answer: I do.   Question: Do you put your whole trust in tutorials on YouTube? Answer: I do.   Question: Do you promise to follow and obey advice only from your peer group? Answer: I do.   Do all you who witness these vows pledge to remember that those who make them were once human, and will to humanity return...in about eight years or so?   Umm...maybe?   Posted with Blogsy

Since we have a minute, and the old year is winding down , let me share with you some things that really bug me, in no particular order: Political fundraising emails that say, "Just chip in 3 dollars." Then, when you click through, suggested donation levels begin at 15 dollars and they actually have the gall to suggest that people 'like you' donate 25.00 or more. This is just cheesy, folks! As God is my witness, if they actually offered the low amount as a choice I would probably give. Every. Single. Time. The trend to put huge amounts of power over education in the hands of people who aren't teachers, have never studied education, have never taught. See also: entire education reform movement. If what you are is a test-maker, everyone looks in need of testing. Follow the money. School rules that mean you can't send birthday invitations to school (might hurt feelings) but you can't get access to students home addresses (privacy). How are you s...

The year is winding down. Any minute now, if it hasn't begun already, we will be seeing and hearing and reading retrospectives of 2013. We begin to think of things we might have done better, and make lists of things we want to try in the year ahead. In the United States there will be much focus on New Year's Eve and the ball dropping in Times Square. Christmas comes, and passes, and then we are moving towards the end. But that isn't the only way to look at it. In the Christian tradition, the year begins with Advent. So Christmas marks the beginning of a journey, not an end. It's a very different world view--we are not winding down; we are only at the start. It is completely in line with Advent being a time of contemplation and preparation. Pack your bags, get your maps, the journey begins anew. I must admit that our societal observance of the calendar year usually leaves me feeling flattened after Christmas, not refreshed and ready to undertake great journeys. It...

I grew up in a neighborhood that looked like this. (This photo is from a Coventry/Cleveland Heights Facebook group.) Mature trees, old sidewalks, tree lawns, older homes of the center hall colonial variety. As an adult I lived in one apartment after another. I yearned for the day I would live in a real house, in a real neighborhood. My older daughter and I had a mantra of sorts, "Someday we'll live in a house with an upstairs and a downstairs, a washer and a dryer. And a treehouse." When we moved to Columbia in 1999 and embarked on a new life as a family in the New American City, it was, in many ways, a dream come true. We finally had that house (minus the treehouse, but, maybe someday...) and yet something was missing. I had in my mind the now somewhat mythical neighborhoods of my youth. But my new home was a quadroplex amongst quadroplexes. No fireplaces, long driveways with garages out back, no architectural detail, no back staircase, or butler's pantry. ...

This morning my little family consists of just three: parents and one teenaged daughter. It feels so tiny to me, having grown up in a family of five.Later today we will have my husband's parents over for Christmas dinner. We will see my older daughter and our son in law tomorrow for Boxing Day. I've spent too many holidays separated from Alice through the challenges of joint custody. Now that she is grown it isn't quite so heartbreaking, as she can make her own choices. It makes me happy to see her creating her own family and family traditions. Far away in Indiana are my sisters. One sister has isolated herself from our family, and I haven't seen her in over thirteen years. The other sister and family are very dear to us, but we rarely get to see each other. Our reunion at Alice and George's wedding was a highlight of last year for us. And by marriage is George's family in Pennsylvania, and my sister in law in England. While we have never spent a single hol...

The day after Christmas some people think that it is over. They take down their decorations and haul their trees to the curb. There are dishes to wash and trash to take out. Some people have to go right back to work. Others are at the stores bright and early for the after-Christmas sales. Still others are returning gifts. The day after a big community meeting some people think it is over, too. After the big turnout, where folks vent, criticize, argue against or support a cause, they go home. And for them, it is over. They may go away feeling like winners or losers, or without the answers they came for, but, on the day after, it's over. Isn't it? The Community Meeting in Oakland Mills about the County's purchase of the Verona Apartments was November 19th. So on November 20th, some folks felt vindicated, others were angry, some disappointed and depressed. And others were just rolling up their sleeves and getting back to work. The Village board continues to work on thi...

This post has religious content--kind of. I go to a small church. Yesterday, at the end of the service, as we sang the final hymn, I noticed some nonverbal communication going on. Someone in the choir looked at someone's mom, who looked at her teenaged son, who looked perplexed. Again, looks were exchanged, this time with a slight gesture to the processional cross. Light dawned on the young man's face, and he went up to the front of the church to "jump in" as the Crucifer for the closing procession. This post is about the Call of the Cross--kind of. Sometimes we have a plan. For instance, in our church there is a list for who will assist at each service, who will read the lessons, who will do the children's chat, who will bake the communion bread, even right down to who will clean the church and set up the room. And yet there are a few jobs, traditionally performed by young people, that we have found difficult to schedule. So we often ask for volunteers befo...

The world has endured far too many tv show remakes of Frank Capra's classic film, "It's a Wonderful Life". This time of year is awash with them. I hate to admit that I have never seen it. And yet my overall familiarity with the plot tempts me to suggest--what would Oakland Mills be like if there had never been a Second Chance Saloon? I don't even want to imagine it. The Second Chance, whose vitality reaches beyond our Village Center to draw in folks from Howard County and beyond, is having a George Bailey moment right now. Unlike the people of Bedford Falls, we don't have to rely on divine intervention to make things right. We have the opportunity to affect positive change. This is our chance. Please join us Saturday night from 5:00 - 7:30 at the Community Rally to Keep Second Chance on the Map. We can't "let Clarence do it." It's time for us to earn our own wings.         Posted with Blogsy

Last night I was following an event on Twitter and enjoying the banter between some very intelligent and witty local folks. Who happen to be men. I attempted to join in. I was ignored. Soon after, another woman responded and was dismissed as "whining." The conversation continued amongst the men. It was intelligent and witty. And it was clearly a conversation that they were having amongst themselves that they perceived was just for them, I guess. At a party it would be rude to cut in, but Twitter might not be the best place to hold a private conversation. What do you think? This is just a little thing, as tiny as the tiniest pebble in your shoe. But, as a self-professed miniaturist, it symbolized for me how much of our world still sees men at the heart of power. Their conversation is the conversation. I know, I know--a big leap. But I'm clearly on A Mighty Girl kick this week. And speaking of mighty girls: A Throwback Thursday offering--Xena, Warrior Princess....

Due to a migraine, I missed the community meeting at TSES last night about Blandair Park and Timesweep Lane. From what I can gather on Facebook, the entrance at Timesweep will be a pedestrian one, and the overall feeling of the community is positive about that. What I don't know is whether everyone felt moved to choose civility at the meeting, but I certainly hope so. Tonight : County Executive Ken Ulman will hold his first Citizens’ Budget Hearing for the FY2015 budget cycle on Wednesday, December 18. (George Howard Building, 3430 Court House Drive, Banneker Room, Ellicott City / 7 pm) This is yet another meeting I will not be attending, as it falls on the only day between now and December 25th when all members of my family are available to get a Christmas tree. I have been to this meeting in the past, in support of the Bridge Columbia project. Although I am not a big fan of meetings, this particular one can be fascinating. The tone is friendly and relaxed as different indivi...

Activists. Crusaders. It won't surprise you that everyone in my family has a cause. Right now my main focus is on # save2ndchance . Today I want to highlight the rest of my family. Older daughter @hocohousehon helps keep the focus on issues surrounding mental illness and health care . (Although I would be remiss if I didn't put in a plug for her post last night which responds to the Baltimore Sun's despicable editorial about Columbia.) My husband continues to work on creating music programs to reach #theother80, that is, the 80 percent of students in our schools who are not music performance driven, yet who still can benefit from music education. Seventh-grader Margo has explored a variety of causes through the years. Disability awareness, the need for adequate recess time in schools, and the importance of arts education are a few of them. This year she has taken on new cause which has been educational to the whole family. At one time it would have been called si...

Posted on the Facebook page for A Mighty Girl : Astronaut Sally Ride on why role models matter: "Young girls need to see role models in whatever careers they may choose, just so they can picture themselves doing those jobs someday. You can’t be what you can’t see.” The accompanying photo:   Yesterday Howard County blogger Bill Woodcock had a little fun with the notion of activist (dare I say crusader?) bloggers in our local community. Okay, maybe a lot of fun. I must admit ignorance of the Avengers universe, so the character match-ups were lost on me. But I love the game. Many a long car ride in my family has been spent casting certain groups of friends as the inhabitants of the Hundred Acre Woods, or as characters from the Muppets. What leapt out at me, as you might suspect from my opening quote, is the lack of women. I know there has been plenty written about the lack historically of powerful comic book women superheroes. That is certainly changing. I enjoyed this thre...

There are certain stories one revisits many times. The birth of a child may top the list. So, if I have written about this before, forgive me. It won't be the last time... Margo was my long-awaited child. Divorced in 1990, I spent many long years wondering if I would ever find the right person to love and to marry. I wondered if I would ever have another child. Then, as these things often happen, I had just about given up hope when love found me. I was married November 13, 1999. On November 15th, 2000 Margo was born. She was a stranger. You know those old baby cards where the caption reads, "I hear a little stranger has come to visit at your house?" Well, that was Margo. She didn't look like anyone I knew. Her sister was born pale and creamy with a hint of pink, a wisp of blonde hair at the back. There was no doubt where she had come from. But Margo was a stunning surprise. She had black, black hair. A lot of it. And her skin had a dark tone, suffused with a dus...

  This has been a week. Challenges abounded. I often take Saturdays off from blogging, but I felt the need to wrap things up: with some unwrapping. When I was little I had a toy called Kitty in the Kegs . You'll see from the picture that it consisted of numerous plastic barrels which all nested one within the other. The smallest held a tiny cat. Only when I got older did I discover Matryoshka dolls which are pretty much the same thing, only they come in a wider variety of personae. This week was an exercise in understanding and accessing the many-nesting components of my community. Let's look at the photo of Matryoshka dolls from Wikipedia. As they are already conveniently opened up, let's start from the smallest and work our way up. The smallest doll represents My House. This is where I have domain over issues such as who empties the trash, who makes coffee in the morning, and when we are going to decorate the house for Christmas. Moving one level up is my Ho...

Last Friday morning I was writing a piece to celebrate five years at the Second Chance Saloon , while, at the same time, Cedar Properties in Port Washington, New York, was notifying the Second Chance that they would not be renewing their lease. Okay, I do not know the exact timing here, but it is pretty darn close. Too close for comfort. I wrote recently about Facebook being a virtual Third Place. For many of us, the Second Chance is our Third Place. We meet friends there before the school meeting, or after the concert at the Other Barn. A group of moms who practice conscious parenting get together here. So do members of the Oakland Mills Village Board, and supporters of the plan for Bridge Columbia. Bloggers from all over Howard County converge to chat, eat delicious pub food and refreshing drinks, served by Second Chance's upbeat staff. Friendly, knowledgable, and energetic--if you've met them more than once or twice they know you. I do not know how a commercial real...

I suspect that actress Julia Louis-Dreyfus should be Googling "How to be a good guest" right...about...now. It seems that it may be a role she hasn't yet perfected. I woke up to some startling quotes in this article, shared by friends on Facebook. A sampling -- "Thank God the work’s good,” says Louis-Dreyfus, dressed in Selina’s chocolate-brown trench and stilettos. “Can you imagine if it wasn’t? It would be like a prison.” Of course, to us, Columbia is a place unlike any other. We have our own wacky brand of exceptionalism. And we also feel free to poke at the dark side of that, whether out of frustration or a desire for progress. But that is not the issue here. The issue is, as Pixel Workshop and HoCoMoJo owner Ilana Bitner put it this morning, that "...publicly disparaging your host city seems bad form, disrespectful, and a little mean-spirited." The reponse from my friends is the one you'd expect from a good host. Come back to Columbia, Ms. Louis...

Yesterday my neighbor posted the following on Facebook: SHA ( State Highway Admin) has set up an office in one of the town homes in my neighborhood. How do I know? Because they inconveniently put a sign up in my yard showing where the office is located. So I (inconveniently) moved it since no one knocked at my door to ask. I moved their sign to a more appropriate location by the mail box where it's more visible from the road but I have no clue WHY they are set up in a residential location! I responded: That is against the rules of our HOA and the OMCA RAC. I am puzzled. She then posted a photo:   Later on: I just spoke with the GENTLEMEN that put the sign up in my yard. He says that they got the house through a Realtor's office & they WILL be operating out of this RESIDENTIAL location. He also asked who moved the sign to which I told him I did & it would have been neighborly if he had asked prior to putting it up. Hmm...Oakland Mills and, for tha...

Now that you're snowed in, let's talk about cookies. Let's bake cookies. Let's get out the cookbooks or go to Pinterest and choose recipes. Let's reminisce about the wonderful cookies of childhood. Even if people can't agree on whether to say Merry Christmas or Happy Holidays, they can agree on cookies. They almost ought to have their own holiday. Well, they do. The Oakland Mills Cookie Swaptacular is this Sunday at the Other Barn in the Oakland Mills Village Center. They have their own Facebook Group , and and event page where you can learn more and RSVP for the event. Yes, with the supreme guidance of Oakland Mills resident Mary Kate Murray and her amazing Cookie Chicks, we have been celebrating cookies for eight years now, and the event gets better every year. We are so lucky to be able to have the event in the beautiful upstairs space at the Other Barn. It is a beautiful space, with plenty of room for Swappers to socialize, taste cookies, navigate th...

Over the past several days I have learned quite a bit from reading the comments section for my own blog. This means a lot to me, because one of the things I treasured so much about Tales of Two Cities was the conversations it started amongst its readers. Granted, the conversation I started about an entrance to Blandair Park started out on rather rocky footing, but it has been evolving. When I attended a meeting about Blandair, hosted by the Oakland Mills Village Board in the Spring, residents expressed opposition (loudly) to any entrance to the park at Timesweep. They had a long list of reasons why neither kind of entrance was acceptable. I got the feeling that there was deep-seated suspicion that, as long as any sort of entrance remained, it could be used to wreak havoc and destruction on their neighborhood. And yet, both Jon and Melissa have taken me to task for ignoring the plain fact that there is a pedestrian entrance to Blandair Park right now, and that it works just fine. I c...

  Five years ago, I stopped dipping my toe into the shallow waters of social media and jumped all the way in. After learning that The Second Chance Saloon would be opening in the space previously inhabited by Fire Rock and Last Chance, I decided I needed to do whatever I could to make sure their opening night was a success. So I created a Facebook group to publicize the event. It was a great night. I don't know how much difference my small effort made, but it changed my perception of what social media could do. And it reinforced to me that, if we wanted a successful bar-restaurant-hangout in Oakland Mills, we had to support it. How many times in recent years have we heard that a local restaurant was closing and thought, "ohhhhh! I wish I had known! I wish I could have done something to help." Sound familiar? During the depths of the recession, owner Wendy Binder shared concerns with the Village Board about growing and maintaining a consistent customer base. That...

When I was little (here we go again) there were two appropriate gifts for teachers: stationery, and handkerchieves. Of course I am talking about a ladies handkerchief: floral, feminine, that folded into a square. The kind of implement one's mother reached for, licked absentmindedly, and used to wipe some smudge off of your face. By the time I was a teacher, there were more possibilities: bubble bath, lotion, candles, chocolate, teacher-themed items, even gift cards. But at Christmas it was likely that I would receive something holiday-themed that my student had picked out. This is how The Christmas Village began. Preschool children have their own unique methods of gift-choosing. I received ornaments and decorations in varied styles, sizes, and weights. In those days we often had a small, table-top tree. A lot of these items were too large or heavy to use. So Alice and I used our imaginations and turned them into a Christmas village. Through the years, as new idiosyncratic piece...