Skip to main content

In-Between

On November 13th, 1999, Richard and I got married. On November 15th, 2000, our daughter was born. This arrangement of dates caused some confusion for her as a young child. I noticed that, when playing with dolls, a couple would get married and then drive directly to the hospital to pick up their baby. The intervening year was lost on her. It was a one-shot deal.

Having a baby a year and two days after getting married has pretty much decimated our wedding anniversary. It's really seen just as a herald of the off-spring's Big Day. Ah, well. Once you have kids, everything becomes about them in one way or another, right?

Over time November 14th has come to have its own personality. We call it "the In-Between Day." It's like the eye of the hurricane. Its existence serves to keep the other two celebrations separate, so they don't run together. While the birthday gets way more whoopdedoo than the anniversary, still each deserves its own space. Despite my daughter's initial confusion, the "I'll love you forever--BAM!--childbirth" scenario isn't remotely palatable.

The In-Between Day is a contemplative day. It is a time to remember the joys of courtship and the journey of our marriage. It is also a time to recall how blessed we were to bring Margo into this world. Now that she is a teenager she has no patience for those "remember when you were little?" stories. But that doesn't stop me from thinking about them.

So today I think, appreciate, remember. And tomorrow my daughter will be fourteen years old. How is that even possible? In the last week she has already started telling people that she is fourteen. Me? I need one more day to get ready.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Teacher Gifts

Today is the last day of school before the Winter Break. It’s a good time to remember the far-reaching nature of our public school system. You may not have children. You may have sent your children to independent schools. It matters not. You will be impacted one way or another. Yesterday I read a long thread on Facebook about several waves of illness in the schools right now. There’s influenza A and norovirus, I believe. And of course there’s COVID. Apparently in some individual schools the rate of illness is high enough for school admin to notify parents.  When I was little the acceptable holiday gift for a teacher was one of those lovely floral handkerchief squares. (I don’t know what it was for male teachers. They were rare in my elementary years.) These days the range of teacher gifts is wider and I have fond memories of Target gift cards which I have written about before. I think it’s safe to say that giving one’s teacher Influenza, norovirus, or COVID is not the ideal holiday...
1 comment
Read more

They Can Wait

This is not a typical Saturday post. That’s because, in my community, it’s not a typical Saturday.  Oakland Mills High School, after years of deferred repair, needs massive renovation. It’s pretty simple: when you don’t fix a problem it gets bigger. The school system itself said the the OMHS school building was  "no longer conducive to learning" back in 2018.  2018 .  But Thursday the Boad of Education voted to push it out of the lineup of important projects which will be given the go-ahead to proceed soonest.  In my opinion it’s a terrible decision and sets a dangerous precedent. To explain, here’s the advocacy letter I sent in support of Oakland Mills High School. I was rather proud of it. I am writing to ask you to proceed with needed renovation at Oakland Mills High School in the most timely and comprehensive manner humanly possible. I have read the letter sent to you by the Oakland Mills Community Association and I am in complete agreement. You are extremel...
1 comment
Read more

Separate and Unequal

  Remember “Separate but equal”? Remember how that really meant that Black schools languished in  broken-down buildings without adequate heat or toilet facilities, with cast-off, ragged learning materials, underfunded and largely ignored? The Supreme Court struck that down in 1954. The evidence was clear that separate was not equal. Plessy v Ferguson had led to - - no, endorsed - - deeply unequal schooling and opportunities. We tend to think of Brown v Board as being purely about racial integration. It was not.  It was about the logical consequences of segregation. And they were not, not, not equal. The ruling in 1954 didn’t transform public education for non-whites into a land of milk and honey by any means. But it articulated some essential truths in a way that made including everyone a legal precedent which could be relied upon and built upon. It was better than what came before it but it rested upon unsteady ground. It did not necessarily change the hearts or minds ...
1 comment
Read more