Everyone knows I'm a big fan of the Downtown Plan. I love the creative use of the Rouse Building for Whole Foods. I'm excited about Merriweather Park and the Chyrsalis. I like the feel of the reconfigured "Lifestyle Plaza" at the Mall. No one can accuse me of being a stick-in-the-mud.
But yesterday I came up against something that I just can't ignore. I never dreamed that moving forward with the New Amercian City could mean--this.
No, not public art. I'm all for that. Can't you see? Doesn't it just cry out to you? Don't you just want to scream?
Parallel parking. There are multiple parallel parking spaces in front of the shops at the Metropolitan. How can they do this? No one in Columbia knows how to parallel park. They've just taken it off of the drivers exam, for heaven's sake. Granted, there's only a handful of spaces, but somebody needs to take a stand now before this gets out of hand.
What will be next? People reading newspapers on park benches? Groups of urban-looking types at bus stops? Pedestrians?
We've got to nip this in the bud, Columbia. Five little parking spaces, so slyly inserted into our wholesome community, could just be the start. The start of the end of everything we believe in.
*****
Yesterday morning, shortly after nine am, I slipped into a parking place in front of the Metropolitan. I got my hair cut at Floyd's and then walked the few steps down the street to get coffee at the Corner Bakery Café.
It was awesome.
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