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A Friend in Need


Recent I have observed two instances of local women being “dragged”* by men. (Yes, I was one of them.) In both cases the people who came to their defense were women. I wonder why that is?

As this is a sample of only two cases it is hardly statistically significant. But, purely anecdotally, I’d have to say that my experience overall bears this out. If a man launches the social media attack on a woman, it is often women who will come to her defense. I know I have witnessed this far more than these two particular occasions.

I know plenty of men who have women friends and progressive attitudes about women’s rights and so on. But are they, for some reason, reticent to jump in under these particular circumstances? Is it difficult for a man to call another man out? Is the impulse to not get entangled stronger than the desire to advocate for a friend?

This post is purely conjectural. I don’t know for a fact that it is true. Having a gut feeling is far from an assertion of scientific proof. But a blog is a place for musings and personal opinions. So I wonder: are men sitting in their hands while women take the risk to come to the aid of a woman under social media attack? If so, why?

If not, perhaps there is something different at work here. Maybe different types of people respond to this situation differently. Some defend publicly, some privately, some shy away from the conflict.

What do you think? What have your experiences been? When things get rough on the Internet, who has your back?




*See Urban Dictionary: dragged, second definition,



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