The news this morning is enraging and frightening. I’m writing today not because it doesn’t matter to me but because showing up here has become a promise I keep to myself. - - jam
*****
I’m having a bit of a problem. The Baltimore Banner has featured another one of those Howard County homes again. You know, the kind that has all the bells and whistles and sits on a massive lot and costs more than a million dollars.
Correction: more than two million dollars.
That’s not the problem. The problem is me. I usually find these luxury real estate offerings ghastly. This one is faintly attractive. I don’t hate it.
This worries me.
For sale: Modern, custom-built home in Clarksville, Jason Freeman, Baltimore Banner
Image from Baltimore Banner real estate article, attributed to Bright MLS
Here are all the deal breakers for me:
House is too big
Lot is too big
Location (for me) is terrible
Too expensive, obviously
Walkability? Zero.
What I like:
Overall it manages to hint at a feeling of homeyness rather than repelling me with an onslaught of conspicuous gaudiness. Well, except for the home chapel.
Easily large enough for prayer services and/or small weddings, the elegant high altar is…a bathtub? (Don’t forget to take a shower on the way in.)
Whoever designed this house must have been playing with some of the same architectural elements that were common in the homes I grew up in. That’s the only reason I can come up with for why it appeals to me at all.
Weird.
I hope someone is very happy there. Well, a bunch of someones. An entire team of happy someones to fill its impressive largeness and maintain its homey vastness.
How I would love to see that yard upgraded with a funfair and some bouncy castles.






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