Skip to main content

Empathy



In the aftermath of the Columbia Elections, nothing has meant so much to me as this post, by Bill Santos at Columbia Compass:

"For those not elected, they need you most of all.  In the past few weeks, they have been subjected to accusations that no one would ever think of prior to their declared candidacy.  I have been there.  The feeling of loss is expected, but what is really jarring is trying to integrate back into the community. There is a pariah effect.  Do people in the neighborhood really believe those things that were said?"

That is exactly how I feel.  My opponent won, in large part by tapping into a long-nurtured well of fear in a specific group of residents who were willing to believe lies about me. Here is a list of the ones I know about; I'm sure there are more.

I was taking money from Howard County elected officials.
I was a front for big developers.
The vote for the Inner Arbor Trust was only a first step to turning CA into a big 501(c)3 that would then institute secret meetings.
I wanted to get rid of old people.
I was against putting a bubble dome on Merriweather (was this even an issue?)

My personal favorite was the man who checked in with my opponent before going into vote. I heard him say, "That Kevin Ulman is for her, and we're against him, right?"

Lies. Lies. Lies.

After the vote was announced, I went up to shake the winner's hand. To my dismay, he pressed a hug on me and whispered in my ear, "Like I said, just a friendly competition."

Seriously?

It takes a while for the sliminess of this experience to wash off. You don't just snap out of it. When you have given the best of who you are and seen your efforts twisted and misrepresented, it takes something out of you.

Life goes on, the business of Columbia goes on. But for those of us who have been so recently run through the wringer, all we ask is for a little empathy.

hocoblogs@@@

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Teacher Gifts

Today is the last day of school before the Winter Break. It’s a good time to remember the far-reaching nature of our public school system. You may not have children. You may have sent your children to independent schools. It matters not. You will be impacted one way or another. Yesterday I read a long thread on Facebook about several waves of illness in the schools right now. There’s influenza A and norovirus, I believe. And of course there’s COVID. Apparently in some individual schools the rate of illness is high enough for school admin to notify parents.  When I was little the acceptable holiday gift for a teacher was one of those lovely floral handkerchief squares. (I don’t know what it was for male teachers. They were rare in my elementary years.) These days the range of teacher gifts is wider and I have fond memories of Target gift cards which I have written about before. I think it’s safe to say that giving one’s teacher Influenza, norovirus, or COVID is not the ideal holiday...
1 comment
Read more

F ³: We Are Not Entitled

  A college student went missing. His family and friends were distraught. The community was encouraged to be on the lookout and spread the word.  Days passed.  They must have been agonizing days for those who cared about the missing student. Thoughts that foul play had been involved cannot have been far from their thoughts.  Then, at last, the student was found. Alive. The news was shared with the public.  So. Much. Relief. A family had been reunited with their child. Even though we know that life is complicated, I think it is okay to accept this as a happy ending and leave it at that.  But the world of social media says no. For every expression of joy at the news came questions and even judgement. It became clear to me that some folks felt entitled to an explanation. They wanted the backstory. It’s as though they felt that, by enlisting the help of the public on social media, the authorities now owed them all the details. Television dramas often weave curr...
2 comments
Read more

Separate and Unequal

  Remember “Separate but equal”? Remember how that really meant that Black schools languished in  broken-down buildings without adequate heat or toilet facilities, with cast-off, ragged learning materials, underfunded and largely ignored? The Supreme Court struck that down in 1954. The evidence was clear that separate was not equal. Plessy v Ferguson had led to - - no, endorsed - - deeply unequal schooling and opportunities. We tend to think of Brown v Board as being purely about racial integration. It was not.  It was about the logical consequences of segregation. And they were not, not, not equal. The ruling in 1954 didn’t transform public education for non-whites into a land of milk and honey by any means. But it articulated some essential truths in a way that made including everyone a legal precedent which could be relied upon and built upon. It was better than what came before it but it rested upon unsteady ground. It did not necessarily change the hearts or minds ...
1 comment
Read more