Skip to main content

Don't Ask, Don't Tell

Activists. Crusaders. It won't surprise you that everyone in my family has a cause. Right now my main focus is on #save2ndchance. Today I want to highlight the rest of my family.

Older daughter @hocohousehon helps keep the focus on issues surrounding mental illness and health care. (Although I would be remiss if I didn't put in a plug for her post last night which responds to the Baltimore Sun's despicable editorial about Columbia.)

My husband continues to work on creating music programs to reach #theother80, that is, the 80 percent of students in our schools who are not music performance driven, yet who still can benefit from music education.

Seventh-grader Margo has explored a variety of causes through the years. Disability awareness, the need for adequate recess time in schools, and the importance of arts education are a few of them. This year she has taken on new cause which has been educational to the whole family.

At one time it would have been called simply "Gay Rights", then evolved to LGBT Rights. But Margo corrects me to say "LGBTQ". And so I learn a little more. As she has grown up she has come to realize how many people in our lives, through family, our church, friends in the arts community, are affected by how our culture rejects or marginalizes them.

In October she went to the GT Resource Teacher at her school to suggest that the student-run television news feature information each day pertaining to LGBT History Month. Although the teacher was kind, her idea was rejected because the Howard County Schools official policy forbids discussion of this material at the Middle School level without prior parental consent. She was livid.

Through the ages so many groups have been excluded from or marginalized by the educational system. Racial and ethnic minorities, religious minorities, the cognitively and physically disabled. Don't forget that it wasn't all that long ago that being left-handed was considered a disability or worse. We have come so far, haven't we?

This morning as she got ready for school, she talked about a book she liked. "I can't review it for school though, because it has LGBT characters. You know," she finished, simply.

Yes. I do know. Middle school students who are growing into a fuller awareness of themselves can examine race, ethnicity, religion, disability and even left-handedness, I suppose, but something as basic as the gender identity they were born with may not be discussed. Who can possibly benefit from this?

This is a great disservice to our students. Gender identity is so central to who we are. It is not something that will be mailed to us in an envelope like a college acceptance letter, at a time when other people feel it would be appropriate. And, although much progress has been made, LGBT persons continue to experience marginalization and outright discrimination within our culture.

Learning more about who you are. Learning that you are not alone. Learning about others who are like you. And for the cisgendered (another new word for me) learning that everyone is acceptable and should be respected. Middle School is not too early to be learning this.

How will our students become college and career-ready when they need a permission slip merely to learn about who they are?

 

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Teacher Gifts

Today is the last day of school before the Winter Break. It’s a good time to remember the far-reaching nature of our public school system. You may not have children. You may have sent your children to independent schools. It matters not. You will be impacted one way or another. Yesterday I read a long thread on Facebook about several waves of illness in the schools right now. There’s influenza A and norovirus, I believe. And of course there’s COVID. Apparently in some individual schools the rate of illness is high enough for school admin to notify parents.  When I was little the acceptable holiday gift for a teacher was one of those lovely floral handkerchief squares. (I don’t know what it was for male teachers. They were rare in my elementary years.) These days the range of teacher gifts is wider and I have fond memories of Target gift cards which I have written about before. I think it’s safe to say that giving one’s teacher Influenza, norovirus, or COVID is not the ideal holiday...

They Can Wait

This is not a typical Saturday post. That’s because, in my community, it’s not a typical Saturday.  Oakland Mills High School, after years of deferred repair, needs massive renovation. It’s pretty simple: when you don’t fix a problem it gets bigger. The school system itself said the the OMHS school building was  "no longer conducive to learning" back in 2018.  2018 .  But Thursday the Boad of Education voted to push it out of the lineup of important projects which will be given the go-ahead to proceed soonest.  In my opinion it’s a terrible decision and sets a dangerous precedent. To explain, here’s the advocacy letter I sent in support of Oakland Mills High School. I was rather proud of it. I am writing to ask you to proceed with needed renovation at Oakland Mills High School in the most timely and comprehensive manner humanly possible. I have read the letter sent to you by the Oakland Mills Community Association and I am in complete agreement. You are extremel...

Columbia Chance Connection

  Last night, as my husband and I were about to sit down to dinner, our front door swung open and a cheery voice announced, “I’m ba—ack!”  We weren’t expecting anyone. Clearly the only people who’d walk right in to our house would be one of our offspring. I had my reading glasses on so I wasn’t seeing too clearly. It seemed too tall for our youngest, but we knew our eldest was at work. I took off my glasses to see a friendly but confused face scanning our living room. When her gaze landed on us we all had a sudden realization. We didn’t know eachother. “Oh I’m so sorry! I’m in the wrong house! My daughter just moved in and she needed hooks for the kitchen so I ran out to get them.” She waved the package. “All these houses look the same and I don’t know the neighborhood yet. I thought this was my daughter’s house.” We were all getting a bit giggly. “That’s okay. For a quick second we thought you were our daughter,” said my husband. I told her our names and said she should defin...