Rites of Passage

A Rite for Teenification

 

Question: Do you renounce all of your mother's values?

Answer: I renounce them.

 

Question: Do you renounce all of your father's points of view?

Answer: I renounce them.

 

Question: Do you renounce all sinful desires that draw you from the love of material possessions?

Answer: I renounce them.

 

Question: Do you turn to television and pop music celebrities and accept them as role models?

Answer: I do.

 

Question: Do you put your whole trust in tutorials on YouTube?

Answer: I do.

 

Question: Do you promise to follow and obey advice only from your peer group?

Answer: I do.

 

Do all you who witness these vows pledge to remember that those who make them were once human, and will to humanity return...in about eight years or so?

 

Umm...maybe?

 

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