This idea has been floating around in my brain for awhile. I guess it has gathered enough momentum at this point to get its own post. To be clear, some of these things my mother told me in good faith, in other words, she truly believed them, but they were lies nonetheless. So, here goes.
- You're lucky. Because you are a girl, you will get to choose whether you want to have a job and work or get married and raise a family. Boys don't get to choose. They just have to work.
- As a lady, you will never see the underside of a dinner check.
- I saw the way those boys looked at you. You're not a nice girl.
- No women stay blondes as adults. If you see a blonde adult, it's definitely bottle-blonde.
- You don't have any friends? What are you doing wrong? (In first grade)
- You're fat! (Weighed myself at health museum--I was four.)
- All people with allergies and asthma are allergic to chocolate and peanut butter.
- You don't get to do what you want to do when you grow up. You have to settle and be realistic.
- NICE girls wear petticoats. (Thanks to my sister for this one.)
It takes a long time to figure out all those voices in your head which are really echoes of what Mother said, long ago. A big part of being adult is sorting, filtering, prioritizing. Not to mention creating your own voice and sticking up for it when it goes head to head with what Mother said.
What about you?