Target

Groupon thinks I want Botox, Twitter thinks I want K-Y products for better sex, and Facebook thinks I want teddy bears and plumbing professionals.

Really, I just want a cup of coffee so good that its effects last from when I wake up until about eight pm. Oh, and a Xanax inhaler. But no one is offering me those.

The internet does its thing so that companies can target you based on your previous clicks and purchases. You are a part of many lists. Your preferences are duly noted and your feed is appropriately sprinkled with the offers that advertisers want you to see. You are a fish whose waters are a minefield of the very best bait.

As a child, I never thought that Chose Your Own Adventure would turn out quite like this.

On the local scene, we all have preferences as well. We draw the issues we care most about closer to us. We click on those articles first, respond more. For me that might be information on improving the school dress code, goings-on in Oakland Mills, events at the Chrysalis, arts education in HoCo, Columbia history, overcoming school segregation, support for LGBTQ kids in our schools...it’s a pretty long list.

 I guess I should be grateful that I’m not being targeted on the basis of those. I wonder what that would even look like.

What are the Columbia/HoCo issues that keep you clicking again and again? What do you care most about? Have you ever received adverts that seem to respond to your hyperlocal interests?

I’m still waiting on that coffee... let me know if you get a good offer.