I’m asking your indulgence this morning as I wander out of my usual local lane. As a member of a music teachers group on Facebook, I enjoyed a light hearted moment reading what teachers had to say this week on a rather non traditional topic. The following post comes from responses given by music teachers (from across the country) to the prompt:
Post things that you’ve had to say no to as a teacher/director.
So, here goes. After an almost sleepless night worried about the fast-moving pandemic, I decided we all needed to read this today. Enjoy.
No, kangaroos are not from Canada.
No, you can't cough on your ball! (We were using tennis balls to an exercise)
No you cannot go take a nap in the storage closet .
“No, you may not put that rock/acorn/mallet/stick/other persons hand in your mouth!!!!”
Also “no, boomwhackers are not swords!”
No. Stop climbing on top of that cabinet and jumping off.
No, you may not run around with your pants around your ankles even though you have basketball shorts on under them. You may pick shorts only or the shorts under the pants.
I told you to stop licking the wall!
No, you may not make a fort out of the music stands and play king of the castle at the top of a 10-chair stack.
No you can’t lick your friend’s shoe.
No you can not eat staples
No, you can't ride the marimba down hill to rehearsal...
"Please stop licking your slide"....and less than 45 seconds later...."and do not lick your neighbor's slide"
Rosin isn’t for licking.
No, you cannot get inside of the drum while someone beats it.
No, you cannot do the Macarena during choral warm-ups.
related: please stop tik-toking during warm ups.
Stop banging the music stand with your flute.
Just got a new one during junior high lunch duty.
"Mr. Bowling, can I go eat in a bathroom stall?"
"That makes me sad."
"No, the recycling bin is not part of selective seating."
"No, Instagram cannot be used as a research tool."
"No, I will not make a Tiktok."
No we are not learning baby shark today.
We do not get upset because there are no more pink shakers.
We do not throw the shakers across the room.
We do not hit our friends with the shakers.
We do not put the shakers in our noses.
We do not put the shakers in our pants.
We do not put the shakers in our mouths.
We are not using the shakers this week.
No, I will not name my unborn child after you.
No, you may not pull the music stand up with your teeth.
No we cannot get a music department dog.
No you do not get extra points on recorder just because you could play it with your nose!!
No, you can not be a flower girl in my wedding (these are 7th graders)
No, don't lick the document camera.
No you cannot climb on top of the shelves.
No you cannot bang on the piano.
No you cannot play a ukulele instead of the bass clarinet during rehearsal.
No you may not wear the guitar on your head like a hat.
Throw the glue stick away now that you got germs all over it. It’s not chapstick.
“No you can’t take your choir folder to the restroom... Because you dropped your music in the toilet last year.”
No, I will not "guess what."
“The bullfrog in your sweater has GOT TO GO.”
No you cannot lick the window to see if your tongue sticks.
Not no, but I consistently have to say "stop screaming into your tuba"
No, you cannot pee on the music room door.
No, stop drying your butt with the carpet on my podium! Brought to you by an 8th grade percussionist today after getting hand sanitizer on his pants...
No you cannot put the bean bags in your underwear.
No, you cannot reach in her mouth and pull her tooth out for her.
No I will not play that pop song that has “no cuss words” but is all about sex.
No- you can’t zip tie belt loops to chairs. (HS)
No- I will not dismantle the baby grand piano so you can get the cell phone out.
No, you may not put the egg shakers in your pants.
No, you cannot give your folder partner a haircut!
We do not come home from the spring trip with more children than we left with.
Music teachers say yes in so many ways that open up the world to their students. But sometimes you just have to say no. I think that, after reading this list, you can see why.
Hang in there, Columbia/HoCo.
Hang in there, Columbia/HoCo.