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F ³: FAFO or Maybe Not


 Food for thought.



Kelly @broadwaybabyto 

This is the crux of Covid spread. People see things as ME not WE. It's "| got covid & it wasn't so bad so it's ok if I get it again."

They fail to consider they could have given it to someone who had a severe case, became disabled or died. We beat Covid when we think

WE not ME.

© tern @1goodtern 

One thing about FAFO is that it's not always the person who does the FAing who does the FOing. 

Wait - - don’t change that channel. I know you know how I feel about COVID. But, despite my jumping-off point, this post isn’t about COVID. 

It’s about WE vs. ME.

I read this post this morning and thought of the many ways that we look at situations through a similar lens. 

  • I didn’t experience that.
  • I don’t feel that way. 
  • I’ve never seen that happen. 
  • Those people don’t look like me.  
  • What’s in it for me?

It isn’t just COVID that brought this to the forefront. It’s a constant human struggle. Or perhaps for some it’s no struggle at all. They’ve been raised “me first” at home, then steeped in “us against them” in their church and in political groups. 

When you live like that, as the above tweetx suggests, you may be the one who ‘FA’ but that doesn’t mean you will be the one to ‘FO’.Sometimes we do experience the consequences of our own actions. But sometimes they fall on others. And then they suffer the consequences of our actions.

There’s a famous quote that has been circulating pretty regularly since 9/11.

When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, “Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.”

- - Fred Rogers

But if our current culture moves more and more towards ME, then who are the helpers? Look at our pool of potential helpers:

  • I didn’t experience that.
  • I don’t feel that way. 
  • I’ve never seen that happen. 
  • Those people don’t look like me.  
  • What’s in it for me?

As an example, it didn’t take long after the tragic destruction of the Key Bridge for certain people to start dehumanizing the missing workers because they were not “white.” As the hours slipped by and the chance of rescue disappeared, I began to see posts demanding to know the immigration status of those men who were working on the bridge that night. 

The cruelty inherent in these questions sickened me. They said, “I demand to know whether I need to care about these people, whether they have innate human value.” They bordered on suggesting that if the missing were undocumented that the rescue operation was a waste of their tax dollars.

Remember the children’s tale about the Little Red Hen? 

Who will help me grind my wheat?

  Not I, said the pig.

  Not I, said the dog.

  Not I said the cat.

Mr. Rogers would be hard pressed to find the helpers there. 

We know that humans are imperfect and that in every given group some will be less likely to give of themselves than others. But these days we see certain church and political factions actively promoting this way of thinking and living. 

The only way to face that is by centering WE in our thinking and actions. Or in trying to, at the very least. Some days you feel like the Little Red Hen. Some days you don’t. But the kinds of changes which are deeply good and healing for everyone can’t happen without it. 

Beware of people who tell you that you don’t have to care. 



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