F ³: Making a Big Deal Over a Gaudy Gherkin

In Maryland news that only the current Baltimore Sun would cover…

Anne Arundel’s safe-sex mess has councilman in a pickle, or “Anne Arundel posted a Christmas-themed safe-sex message. A councilman had thoughts.” Benjamin Rothstein, Baltimore Sun

In a moment that feels oddly reminiscent of the Howard County School Board’s Condom Kerfuffle, a member of the Anne Arundel County Council is offended by a pickle.

From a post on Facebook promoting the article:

Photos from Baltimore Sun social media. They do not credit the photographer.

And now for a closeup.

Anne Arundel Department of Health:

Tis the season of giving, but don't forget to wrap it! Free safe sex kits are available now. Get yours today! https://ayrs.io/u4nhXQ

Councilman Nathan Volke:

Really hope the next county administration appoints people in the Anne Arundel County Department of Health who have some respect for one of the holiest times of the year... smh

Yes, of course I responded.

Public health initiatives are far more successful if they are able to catch the public’s attention and encourage engagement. Mr. Volke isn’t a public health expert, I’m guessing.

I was surprised and gratified that the vast majority of commenters on this article understood the point of the health department’s initiative and found Volke’s response to be ignorant and just plain silly. Not a few pointed out the the Sun’s coverage of the matter was ridiculous unto itself. As of this morning, this story has not “caught on” to other news outlets.

This pickle does not have legs, folks.

I don’t know if the Councilman knows the legend of the Christmas pickle or whether he’s freaked out that it looks like a penis. Or maybe he’s just upset that the Health Department is talking about sex. I don’t care.

I do care that he’s equating a commercially made tree decoration with holiness. That offends me. Plus, the sanctity of God’s incarnation in human form is not defiled by people taking care of their sexual health. It just isn’t.

The big joke about the legend of the pickle ornament is that there isn’t one. It was made up by the Woolworth company to sell more Christmas ornaments. Perhaps Volke should be indignant at the mercenary trickery of Woolworth’s who clearly lacked respect for one of the holiest times of the year…smh.

I wonder if Old Ellicott City needs a pickle statue?

Thoughts? Let me know.

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