Did you ever really want to be one of the Cool Kids? I did, once upon a time.
Let’s think about that today. What are the qualities that make you “in” with the In Crowd? What would you do to gain that status? What would you do to hold on to it?
What makes a group of people feel emboldened to do horrible, demeaning things to a helpless individual?
Why are they almost always men?
The persistent reporting by student journalists at Cornell has brought those questions to a wider audience over the last week.
As we’ve been trying to process those horrors another story has hit local news which feels eerily similar to me.
Howard High School JV football players charged after locker room bullying, Blair Sabol, WMAR 2 News
This quote from the mother of the victim is shattering.
“He's been beaten, battered, kidnapped, assaulted, sexually assaulted, false imprisonment, robbed," Bridges said. "I would like charges pressed to the full extent of what occurred to my child."
Both the student at Cornell and the student at Howard High School were the victims of violence inflicted by a group of fellow students. Both incidents are horrific and the damage they have done is immeasurable.
It’s also true that no one will ask the Howard High School student what he was wearing, why he was there, or whether he had been drinking. I think, (or at least I certainly hope) that no one will suggest that the local vicitm did something to invite his bullying and assault.
But I already see that kind of talk about the Cornell victim.
I am sick of this false distinction. Rape is an act of violence and that includes all sexual assault. The fact that sex is involved does not change this. The fact that the victim is a woman does not change this.
The fact that our culture and our legal system do not wholeheartedly approach these crimes with the full understanding and conviction of these truths disgusts me.
And every time this ugliness surfaces there are thousands of victims who silently relive unknown horrors because, for them, there was no justice. No validation of their hurt. No reparation. No closure.
Going back to the beginning:
What are the qualities that make you “in” with the In Crowd? What would you do to gain that status? What would you do to hold on to it?
What makes a group of people feel emboldened to do horrible, demeaning things to a helpless individual?
Why are they almost always men?
What the hell are we going to do about this?
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