This. Means. War.

Yesterday I witnessed the Great Columbia Grass-Cutting War. It wasn’t pretty.

On a Facebook page entitled “Celebrating Columbia Maryland and its Future” the topic was anything but celebratory. A disgruntled resident was pulling out all the stops to shame any and everyone she perceived to be responsible for one of the great horrors of our time:

Too bad the Columbia Association, the Harper's Choice Village Board, and Enterprise Community Homes are all refusing to take any action to mow the grass at Harper House, which is now hip high. Apparently Columbia Association mowed this area in years past but now says the property owner Enterprise Community Homes should mow this area at the corner of Harper's Farm Road and Cedar Lane. Gridlock because each party is refusing to mow this grass and it looks terrible. Maybe Howard County needs to get involved!

Her post was accompanied by (twenty seven eight-by-ten colour glossy photographs with circles and arrows and a paragraph on the back of each one explaining what each one was to be used as evidence...pictures of the approach, the getaway, the northwest corner the southwest corner and that's not to mention the aerial photography.) multiple photographs of the offending site.

What followed (53 comments-worth) revealed that the complainant had already gone the same route on NextDoor, emailed multiple folks at the Harper’s Choice Village Association, and probably made multiple phone calls. Now I don’t know why the immediate removal of the grass was a life or death issue for her. Perhaps she dropped a contact lens or is missing a small dog.

But it was quite clear from responses to her tirade that, every step of the way, she had been receiving honest and forthright answers from Her Village Association, and she just didn’t like it. She chose to misrepresent what was actually going on in order to get more people stirred up on social media. It was the ultimate in “I want to talk to a manager!”

A highlight (?) was the person who thought it was high time that Howard County used some our tax money on taking care of Columbia, instead of relying on the Columbia Association to do it. Yet another example of people not understanding what Howard County Government does vs what CA does. Sheesh.

A (long-suffering?) gentleman came forward to re-iterate the steps that Harper’s Choice was already   taking to address the situation.

Do you guys think that if someone violates a covenant we can immediately sue them? These processes take time. Would you like me to go to your house, find all of the issues, and then give you 7 days to fix them all before I start fining you by the day? Probably not. That is why the process is civil. The grass sucks but it will get cut. We are on it.

And then, he shared a bit of golden information:

The new owners didn’t know their responsibility. This town is very complex. People don’t realize. The village center itself is owned by over 4 entities. This town is confusing.

Amen! This town is confusing. Maybe I should make that the new slogan for my blog. 

Village Green/Town² - - this town is confusing. 

God bless that poor man. This is probably not his first go-round with angry citizens demanding instant service. From what I can tell, he’s a board member. So that means he volunteers his services to   make Harper’s Choice a better place. You, sir, are my hero.

In the meantime, a bit of insight from another entrant into the fray:

Do people really care how tall some grass is?

Dear friends, in the Great Columbia Grass-Cutting War, let there be no more casualties. Let them hammer their swords into ploughshares. Or maybe lawn mowers.