Skip to main content

Separate Worlds




Facebook is one kind of neighborhood, and Twitter is another. This is not a new discovery of mine. But never has it been more driven home to me than this weekend.

Over on Facebook we had the usual family stories and photos, taking down the holiday decorations, excitement about the upcoming Ravens game, and various statements of frustration about the ongoing Government shutdown.

On Twitter, it was three whole nights (and days)  on Survivng R.Kelly.  It was horror and heartbreak and rage. I couldn’t make myself watch the show itself. Did you? Did you know about the years and years of manipulation, false imprisonment, and sexual abuse of minors? And how the music industry knew and looked away?

Insomuch as media is an extension of a predominantly white worldview, the largest spotlight has focused much more on white victims. Just as black boys are often perceived to be older and more physically dangerous than they actually are, black girls are often perceived to be sexually mature beyond their years. And with that comes that age old assumption that “they asked for it.”

This weekend I was silent observer to many ugly truths of abuse and betrayal from women who had seen it or experienced it. Relatives had let them down. Pastors had let them down. Friends had brushed off concerns, looked the other way. They spoke to each other in tweets, crying out to the world for once to stop and take notice of the pain of black women and girls.

But I didn’t see any of this on Facebook. My Facebook world is largely white.  My Twitter world is enriched by the words of women of color I do not know in real life but learn from daily. Let’s face it. My only significantly integrated world is my Twitter stream. Over in my white Facebook neighborhood, it’s been silent on this.

Here’s the crux of the matter, in a thread from @DrSamiSchalk:

Most black folks I know have posted about the docuseries in the last few days (thankfully black people in my networks are expressing support of the victims of sexual abuse & coercion though their posts suggest to me that is not the case with their entire friends network)

In contrast, nearly all white folks I know are not even acknowledging the docuseries, the #RKelly conversation, nothing. This divide/contrast reminds me that white people are not required to know what’s happening to and among black folks.

Yet black folks always know what’s happening with white people—it’s essential for our survival. So to every white #feminist I know who posted, raged and bemoaned the events surrounded Dr. Blasey Ford’s testimony and the #Kavanaugh appointment:

Where is your outrage for the many black girls & women who have been victims of R. Kelly for years? If you don’t know what I’m talking about, ask yourself why. Why are you not hearing about these black women’s stories which we’ve been talking about for years (see #MuteRKelly)?

I share this with you today because it’s important for me to use my voice to say: I see this, I hear this, I will not be silent. These wounded lives are our business. It is our responsibility, too, to fight for justice and offer to carry the burden of the pain. Do I know exactly what to do? No. But I need to begin.

I need to be willing to open the windows of my Facebook world and let the Twitter voices flow in.








Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Getting Fresh

One of my favorite days in the Spring comes when this year’s list of Farmer’s Markets is released. That happened this week. New this year are markets in Old Ellicott City and the “Merriweather Market” which, according to the address, will be located here . I mistakenly thought at first glance that it was in the new-construction part of the Merriweather District. I find the name confusing considering its actual location. I’m going to guess that this market is an initiative of the Howard Hughes Corporation because the name seems chosen more for branding purposes than anything else.  Alas, the market in Maple Lawn is gone. The thread on the markets on the County Executive’s FB page will provide you with quite the education in who actually runs the Farmers Markets vs what people often think is going on. Short answer: they are not  chosen nor run by the county. Each market is an independent entity, sometimes started by community volunteers, other times supported by local businesses...

They Can Wait

This is not a typical Saturday post. That’s because, in my community, it’s not a typical Saturday.  Oakland Mills High School, after years of deferred repair, needs massive renovation. It’s pretty simple: when you don’t fix a problem it gets bigger. The school system itself said the the OMHS school building was  "no longer conducive to learning" back in 2018.  2018 .  But Thursday the Boad of Education voted to push it out of the lineup of important projects which will be given the go-ahead to proceed soonest.  In my opinion it’s a terrible decision and sets a dangerous precedent. To explain, here’s the advocacy letter I sent in support of Oakland Mills High School. I was rather proud of it. I am writing to ask you to proceed with needed renovation at Oakland Mills High School in the most timely and comprehensive manner humanly possible. I have read the letter sent to you by the Oakland Mills Community Association and I am in complete agreement. You are extremel...

What Kids Are Thinking

  It’s a Monday in February, and if you guessed that a lot of Howard County students have the new cell phone policy on their minds, you’d be right. It will mean big changes and it will be stressful, no matter how much good we hope it will do in the long run. But on this particular Monday cell phones might not be top of mind, as amazing as that seems. Some kids will go to school wondering if they or family members will be seized by ICE. Some will fear that their parents’ employment will be purged by the ongoing rampage of Elon Musk and his cronies through Federal Government. Some fear heightened and renewed racism as programs that supprted Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion are vilified and destroyed.  Some worry that it soon won’t be safe for them to use the bathroom in school anymore. It goes without saying that some kids fear going to school every day because of the prevalence of school shootings.  And look! Here’s something new to fear. That old hate group, Libs of TikTo...