The Party

Mother told you things. She said, “before you leave the party, always thank the birthday party mom.” She said, “If you accept a date earlier in the week, you can’t ditch them for a better offer later in the week.” And she most definitely said, “Don’t make a big deal out of being invited to a party when you know that other people haven’t been invited. It will hurt their feelings.”

You remember that, right?

But social media was not raised by your mother. Social media bursts onto the scene with the energy of a two year old who has gotten into your stash of chocolate espresso beans and the brazenness of a teen who wants you to know that yes, they were invited to the party and you weren’t.

So there.

This painful realization came to mind recently when I viewed pictures online of a private party to which I was not invited. Now, it doesn’t bother me to view photos from fundraisers which I couldn’t afford or family birthday parties for aquaintances from whom I couldn’t expect to receive an invitation. This was different.

It was a local arts nonprofit celebrating an important announcement in which I was extremely interested. This may seem odd to you, but I legitimately could not understand why I was not in attendance. I checked my records which confirmed several moderate monetary donations. I checked my blog, which showed approximately ten posts specific to this organization, nine of them positive. I considered my record as a supporter of the arts.

I was more than puzzled. I was hurt. I was angry.

Here were people I knew, with whom I have worked on community initiatives, posting photos from a private party which had elevated some and not others. That’s life right? Not everybody gets invited.

Social media lays it right out there, letting you know who has been chosen and who is expendable.

But when you are a small, trying-to-get-off-the-ground arts nonprofit, that’s really not a good look. It’s a very tough road to start from scratch and build up a group of loyal donors, whether big or small. And every donor is important. Or should be.

I recently read a quote which speaks directly to this situation:

When you're not grateful for every supporter you're leaving money on the table.

In my opinion, anyone who had donated even ten dollars to this organization should have received an invitation to this event. Perhaps they all wouldn’t have been able to attend. But the goodwill engendered by such a gesture would have been incalculable.

If you want to build brand loyalty, be loyal those who legitimately care about your brand. Otherwise you’re nothing but a club for the cool kids and the rich folks.