The Stadium, The Doctor, and Me

 

Way back in January of 1992 there was quite a bit of excitement building as the new baseball stadium at Camden Yards prepared to open for the very first time. Not just excitement - - curiousity, too. Even right here in Columbia.

Dear Stadium Doctor:

Will they serve kosher hot dogs or non-kosher hot dogs at Camden Yards?

Ben Harris, age 8 

Columbia 

The Stadium Doctor was a literary device created by the Baltimore Sun Sports Department as Opening Day approached for the new stadium. Anyone could write in with their questions. If your letter was chosen to appear in the paper you’d be sure to get an answer that was both informative and witty, as well. That Stadium Doctor was a charming guy.

It was a fun way to promote audience engagement and to support enthusiasm for the Orioles and their new home.

How do I know all this? The Stadium Doctor’s son was in my preschool class at Bolton Hill Nursery in Baltimore. You know how teachers are. It was a teachable moment. After a class discussion in circle time, my students sent the Stadium Doctor a letter.

Dear Stadium Doctor:

My 3-year-old nursery school class is very excited about the new stadium. We would like to know if there are going to be enough bathrooms for everyone to use, especially since so many new drinks and snacks will be available.

For my part, I would like to know if any of the dreaded "she-inals" are being installed in the women's rest rooms.

If you would be so kind as to answer these questions, we will try to remember to go before we leave the house.

Miss Julia

Bolton Hill Nursery

Then they went back to their regular daily life: playing, singing, building, creating art, and eating snack. And I kept checking the newspaper, hoping for a response. On January 19th, 1992, Miss Julia and her preschool class made the Sports Section of the Baltimore Sun.

Dear Miss Julia:

Thank you for writing, Miss Julia. And thank you, class, for the handsome painting of the Stadium Doctor standing beside an asparagus tip. Or is that Gumby?

To the class: Listen up, Amanda. You, too, little Jon. The Stadium Doctor is talking to you, Benjamin. There will be plenty of bathrooms for boys and girls at the new ballpark. Twice as many potties for girls as at Memorial Stadium, in fact. If a baby brother arrives at midseason, mommy and daddy will be happy to note that many bathrooms also are equipped with changing tables.

To the teacher: She-inals, the female urinals which created a stir two summers ago, will not be used in the new stadium. Incidentally, this decision had nothing to do with the public outcry when the idea received some media coverage.

Orioles vice president Janet Marie Smith said the team briefly offered to install a prototype at Memorial Stadium, but that the company never responded, so the plan was dropped.

Stadium Authority executive director Bruce Hoffman said there was not a moment when the she-inal was considered for the ballpark. "It was never a part of the project," he said.

It was an exciting day at Bolton Hill Nursery when the Stadium Doctor’s letter was the subject of our daily read aloud. I imagine it was especially exciting for Amanda, Jon, and Benjamin. All in all, it was a lovely bit of fun and I think I may have been more excited than my students. 

After that I was hooked. I wanted to read all the Stadium Doctor letters. I found it all the more exciting since I was in on the secret of the Stadium Doctor’s true identity.

Yesterday, as my husband and I watched the festivities at Camden Yards on television, the Stadium Doctor came to mind. I reached out to him to see how he felt about being unmasked at long last.

Wonder of wonders! I found my old letter to the Stadium Doctor thanks to an internet search. I’d like to include it in my blog post tomorrow, in honor of the 30 year anniversary festivities at Camden Yards.

Quick question: should I continue to protect the mystery around The Stadium Doctor’s identity, or may I name you? I’m not aware if you have ever revealed yourself publicly.

Not long afterwards, a response showed up in my inbox. 

What a nice surprise, Julia. Nice to know the Stadium Doctor lives on in the mind of at least one Orioles fan!

Sure, it’s fine to unmask me. The time has come. 

So, here goes. 

The writer who made all those Stadium Doctor columns so much fun was sports writer Mark Hyman. Like many excellent Baltimore Sun writers, he has since moved on to bigger and better things. Hyman now holds the George Solomon Endowed Chair in Sports Journalism and is the director of the Shirley Povich Center for Sports Journalism at the University of Maryland’s Philip Merrill College of Journalism. You can learn more about him here.  

And to think, I knew him when he was only a doctor. And a really great preschool parent.

Before I sign off - -  does anyone know Ben Harris? Is he still in town? Did he ever get a kosher hot dog at Camden Yards? I’d love to find out.