Duck, Duck. No Goose.

 

The story you did not know you needed is right here for your Monday reading pleasure:

World's Largest Rubber Duck Waddles Into MD For Two Special Events

The world's largest rubber duck will be bobbing in the Bay for 2 community events in MD. It's the duck's 1st time visiting the DMV region.

You can find all the details in this story by Kristin Danley Griner, a staff writer for Patch.

All photos courtesy of Craig Samborski, owner of the world’s largest rubber duck

I have a few things to share that went through my mind as I read this story. First: these ducks will not be waddling anywhere. They have no feet. They arrive by truck and then float on water. There will not now, nor will there ever be, any waddling. 

Second: how can Columbia hope to be a world class city if we don’t even rate a visit from the world’s largest rubber duck (and her baby Timmy)?  Surely the Howard Hughes Corporation can see their way clear to forking over the $9,500 cost of bringing the aquatic celebrities to town? Why should Leonardtown and Crisfield have all the fun?

Just imagine the festivities at the Lakefront.  Photo opportunities galore! And just think how enormous they would appear in Lake Kittamaqundi. Impressive, even.

The Collective Offshore could feature a special rubber duck menu, and Whole Foods could market specially curated Rubber Duck picnic boxes for the family. Over at The 3rd, I can envision another of their Kidpreneurs events with young folks marketing duck-themed items and possibly hosting a yellow ducky craft table as well. Encore could host a kid friendly Sesame Street themed concert kicked off by - - what else ? - - “Rubber Ducky.” 

I’m trying to picture the sorts of things that the Columbia Association would do. Duck yoga? Duckercise at dawn? Mommy and me Ducky Fun Run?

Howard Hughes would create an out-of-this-world, midnight  “canoes and cocktails event” for exclusive water access to the visiting ducks. For an additional fee you could spend the night at a Howard Hughes property in the Merriweather District for a Rubber Duck Rendezvous.

Is any of this likely to happen? Probably not. But, until recently, I’d never have believed that pink elephants ever came to town, either. You never know.

 Image included in Baltimore Sun article, 2017