Back to School Conversations

Every year parents are inundated with suggestions as to how they should be preparing their children for going back to school.  Some are merely adverts in disguise: buy the most desirable clothing and school supplies, for instance. I’m ever perplexed by the back to school pitches for tutoring services which seem to suggest that you should plan in advance to assume your child will be struggling and sign up now before you even know what their school year will be like.

Then there are the “gradually change their bedtimes and wake up time posts”, the “encourage independence by having them make their own lunches” posts, and the “set up a place for their backpacks to encourage organization” posts. Along with these are the lectures about teaching your child to be respectful to teachers, kind to classmates, and accepting of those who are left out.  

One thing that doesn’t usually make the rounds this time of year is a reminder to white parents to talk to their children about racism and what they can do about it. Of course raising your child to understand racism and how to actively be anti-racist shouldn’t be a seasonal thing, yet many of our kids will be heading into school environments which are far more diverse than their immediate friend groups and neighborhoods.

We have back to school doctors visits, dental check ups, and eye exams. What about racism checkups?

Political poster from the time of the troubles at @thelinenhall in Belfast.

Racism seriously affects our vision of people. Our awareness is the first step towards change.

This recent post from local group Anti-Racist Education Alliance is a good place to start. 

I don't feel safe with these kinds of kids hanging around in our neighborhood. It's 90 degrees so why are they wearing hoodies and masks?

• You should call the police!
• He's hiding his face for a reason!
• No good reason!
• Glad we installed security cameras!

A.R.E.A. Responds:

If you are participating in this kind of social media activity, your friends at the Anti-Racist Eduction Alliance ask that you STOP.

This is racist and it could get kids killed.

So, here’s a thought. Are your kids seeing you talk like this and post like this? What is it teaching them? How is it influencing how they interact with others at school? Is this really a lesson you want to be teaching your children?

I’ve seen plenty of social media posts from folks who don’t believe that racism is a problem in Howard County. That talking about it causes problems or is somehow socially unacceptable or “not nice.” This brief video from the Howard County Office of Human Rights documents the reality of racist attitudes in our community and I wish it were required viewing for some back-to-school home conversations.

OHRE Youth Takeover, Intern Zakiya Jones

Refusing to address these kinds of attitudes and/or actively denying their existence is what causes problems. We can choose to be willing to have these conversations with our kids and make sure they know our values - - not just as they prepare to return to the classroom, but all the time. 

Often our children can be more savvy to our shortcomings in this area than we would like. That can lead to some uncomfortable exchanges. But the discomfort will be worth it in the long run because we are trying to build open and positive channels of communication about issues of race that will last longer than our children’s school years.

I remember feeling such horror and sadness when I first learned about how Black parents must have “The Talk” with their children about racism. What if white parents took on the responsibility of having the kinds of family talks that combat racism? 

It’s a different kind of back to school theme, I’ll grant you that. 

Learn more about A.R.E.A.  And OHRE.

Village Green/Town² Comments