I watched a video of comedian Josh Johnson yesterday in which he describes a phenomenon called “the ick.” It’s somewhere in here.
From Merriam Webster:
Ick, usually the ick, refers to a sudden feeling of disgust or repulsion that causes a permanent reversal in feeling toward a romantic (or potential romantic) partner. Ick is also used (often without the, as in “a list of icks”) for the cause of the disgust or repulsion itself. It is sometimes used more broadly for a feeling of disgust or repulsion outside of the context of romantic relationships.
Johnson describes an experience where he’s pretty sure that his own behavior gave a potential girlfriend that “ick” sensation. He does it in a way that is both self-deprecating and hilarious. By using himself as the awkward one, he has you laughing and rooting for him at the same time.
I had never heard the term “the ick” before yesterday. I thought a little bit about whether “the ick” is the same thing as a “red flag”. Are they the same? If not, how are they different?
Later yesterday, as I was driving back towards Baltimore, I chose a podcast that looked pleasant enough: a lighthearted interview with late night host Jimmy Kimmel. Two guys, some trivia challenges, humorous back and forth, recollections and banter.
Then it happened. I realized that whenever Kimmel talked about seeing women performers he invariably included the phrase “still looks great.”
“I saw so and so. She still looks great!”
He never used those words for men.
That, my friend, gave me the ick.
Why on earth does this man think that these words are the ultimate benediction? Why does he have the hubris to bestow them like a preschool teacher giving out stickers?
You may be a singer, a dancer, an actress, or any kind of a mover and shaker in public life but what matters to Jimmy Kimmel (and plenty of other men, I suspect) is whether you “still look great.” Once a woman reaches a certain age the only thing about her that matters is her shelf life.
This is a Big Giant Ick.
I switched off the podcast. It had suddenly become an event I wanted nothing to do with. In fact I wanted to wash the entire experience off of myself and forget I had ever shown it any interest whatsoever.
I’ve heard plenty of positive things about Jimmy Kimmel over the last year. That’s probably why I thought I’d give this interview a try. Seeing him frame his descriptions of women like that was both a big ick and a big tell.
There are other podcasts and other views I’d rather give my time and attention to.
Have you ever experienced something similar? Let me know.

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