Skip to main content

Ask Me

I got an email recently from a friend I have known twenty-five years.  We met through church and music connections, and have spent most of the intervening years as members of a congenial group I call The Birthday Club.  We all get together and have dinner when one of us has a birthday, bring funny birthday cards, and catch up on the goings-on in each others lives.

This fellow did me a special honor by giving me away at my wedding in 1999, as my own father was no longer living. "Pay attention," he said to me rather sternly, as we were about to walk down the aisle. "You need to pay attention. You're going to want to remember this."

Those words came back to me as I read the following:

Some time, when you are in Baltimore again and have the time, I would love to have lunch with you. You made a couple of comments at dinner the other night about politics and I'd like to pursue that subject a little with you. I give you my absolute promise to not make it in any way confrontational; I just want to understand what people who I suspect differ from me about it all think. I've tried with Susan (not her real name) and that, as you know, doesn't work so well; you, I know are more, well "agreeable" for want of a better word and will give me your thoughts without being too absolutist. Let me know if you'd be willing; I repeat, I will be a gentleman in every possible way.
 
This came as a shock. In twenty-five years we have discussed hymns, anthems, English cathedrals, where to get great Chinese food and how to make the best gin and tonics. We have never discussed politics. The Birthday Club follows an unspoken policy to avoid topics that may cause significant discord.
 
I have become more fearful in recent years of discussing politics. Not too long ago my patriotism and my faith were challenged because I didn't agree with prevailing political views.  And certain radio and television personalities, along with 'commenters' to blogs and online newspapers, believe that the exercise of free speech permits a sort of verbal vivisection of "the other." 
 
That's not how I work.  So I generally keep quiet.  But I feel this is an offer I can't refuse: an olive branch extended by a dear friend who thinks differently than I do.
 
And above all, a complete gentleman in every possible way.
 
hocoblogs@@@


 
 


 






Comments

  1. Karen LynnNovember 7, 2011 at 3:05 PM

    What a compliment to you, Julia, that this man feels he can talk openly and have an agreeable disagreement with you. The nastiness of what passes for political discourse these days makes that a rarity.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Julia A. McCreadyNovember 8, 2011 at 8:53 AM

    @Karen--thanks! Now I just need to summon the courage to follow through.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Teacher Gifts

Today is the last day of school before the Winter Break. It’s a good time to remember the far-reaching nature of our public school system. You may not have children. You may have sent your children to independent schools. It matters not. You will be impacted one way or another. Yesterday I read a long thread on Facebook about several waves of illness in the schools right now. There’s influenza A and norovirus, I believe. And of course there’s COVID. Apparently in some individual schools the rate of illness is high enough for school admin to notify parents.  When I was little the acceptable holiday gift for a teacher was one of those lovely floral handkerchief squares. (I don’t know what it was for male teachers. They were rare in my elementary years.) These days the range of teacher gifts is wider and I have fond memories of Target gift cards which I have written about before. I think it’s safe to say that giving one’s teacher Influenza, norovirus, or COVID is not the ideal holiday...
1 comment
Read more

They Can Wait

This is not a typical Saturday post. That’s because, in my community, it’s not a typical Saturday.  Oakland Mills High School, after years of deferred repair, needs massive renovation. It’s pretty simple: when you don’t fix a problem it gets bigger. The school system itself said the the OMHS school building was  "no longer conducive to learning" back in 2018.  2018 .  But Thursday the Boad of Education voted to push it out of the lineup of important projects which will be given the go-ahead to proceed soonest.  In my opinion it’s a terrible decision and sets a dangerous precedent. To explain, here’s the advocacy letter I sent in support of Oakland Mills High School. I was rather proud of it. I am writing to ask you to proceed with needed renovation at Oakland Mills High School in the most timely and comprehensive manner humanly possible. I have read the letter sent to you by the Oakland Mills Community Association and I am in complete agreement. You are extremel...
1 comment
Read more

Separate and Unequal

  Remember “Separate but equal”? Remember how that really meant that Black schools languished in  broken-down buildings without adequate heat or toilet facilities, with cast-off, ragged learning materials, underfunded and largely ignored? The Supreme Court struck that down in 1954. The evidence was clear that separate was not equal. Plessy v Ferguson had led to - - no, endorsed - - deeply unequal schooling and opportunities. We tend to think of Brown v Board as being purely about racial integration. It was not.  It was about the logical consequences of segregation. And they were not, not, not equal. The ruling in 1954 didn’t transform public education for non-whites into a land of milk and honey by any means. But it articulated some essential truths in a way that made including everyone a legal precedent which could be relied upon and built upon. It was better than what came before it but it rested upon unsteady ground. It did not necessarily change the hearts or minds ...
1 comment
Read more