F ³: Solidarity Is Not So Simple

This week I inadvertently made someone feel terrible and I have been thinking a lot about that. It started when I posted the following:

I guess I should be grateful that Target has made it unequivocally clear that they don’t want my business anymore.

I had already been deeply disappointed by how Target folded on supporting Pride this summer and their recent disavowal of their own Diversity Equity and Inclusion initiatives was the last straw for me. I was expressing my intention to take my dollars elsewhere.

A friend of mine perceived this as public judgement of anyone who didn’t follow suit. It so happened that she had felt the same when I expressed a desire to cut back on my purchases from Amazon. 

I felt awful.

It’s okay to say “I have made a decision to boycott a business because of the following reasons.” It is never okay to say “so everyone else has to do it, too.” I hope that I have never done that but I do understand the feeling of gradually feeling piled on.When those around you are vocal about a particular issue,  it can gather enough momentum that it is easy to take it personally.

During the height of the pandemic many of us were using Instacart for grocery deliveries. Then it came out that their workplace policies were pretty terrible, their workers were ill treated, and that in some cases they didn’t truly receive their own tips. At this point a big chunk of folks I know articulated their displeasure and ceased using Instacart.

But I couldn’t. At that point my asthma had made me too ill too physically push a cart around a store plus my medications weakened my immune system. So I kept using Instacart but I felt guilty about it. For a long time I handed my Instacart person their tips in cash at the door so it couldn’t be diverted. 

All of this is to say that we do not know what other people’s circumstances are. Do you remember the big push to do away with plastic drinking straws? A great thing, yes? We all know they are bad for the environment. But then it was discovered that a whole segment of the population legitimately needed drinking straws because of disability and no one had given a thought to that. 

Oh.

I’ve been seeing a lot of references to solidarity lately but I’m not sure that we are all working from the same definition. It is too simplistic to say “There’s power in numbers, so let’s all do the same thing at the same time!” Who decides? Whose voices are amplified? 

I did a basic Google search on solidarity and I found this from St. Olaf University in Minnesota:

Acting in solidarity with others means that you will:

• give marginalized or oppressed identities the same respect and affirmation that majority identities may take for granted
• center voices of marginalized or oppressed identities in our work
• do the self work to “unlearn” your own biases
• bring humility to your interactions with others
• practice empathetic listening
• take action that amplifies the work of the community and organizers from the community

- - Academic Civil Engagement, St.Olaf University

I heard a conversation this week on public radio and a guest pointed out that many people live in food deserts and/or don’t have cars. What if a particular business, say Target, was the only place they had access to for buying groceries? I’m able to make certain choices because I have a car and I have a variety of consumer alternatives within my immediate community. That’s privilege.

True solidarity is not telling our neighbors they must do exactly what we are doing. However, it could be supporting others by using a business like Costco cooperatively and even delivering groceries to people who don’t drive. That’s a level of solidarity that I certainly did not grow up experiencing. I don’t think many white people do.

We are more likely to see our responsibility as resting in individual acts and choices. We see solidarity as the power of lots of people making those individual acts and choices. When we admire the persistence of the Montgomery Bus Boycott, a lot of us don’t really understand the ongoing, organized community care that made that movement possible. Privilege makes this kind of cooperation and interdependence unnecessary. 

Not understanding that is often the downfall of well-meaning initiatives. And it creates a rift between us and those whose life experience has taught them truths we never learned in school or in life.

There are many ways to be a force for good and I am learning all the time. If I could only overcome my telephone anxiety, for example, I could be making calls to my elected officials. I am in no position to judge others.  

I’m grateful to my friend for reminding me to remember and include those who are not exactly like me.

Village Green/Town² Comments