On Friday, at the end of a long week for Howard County teachers, my husband came in the door with the usual collection of gear: computer, empty lunch box and travel mug, guitar, etc. It usually takes several minutes for him to unload all of the things he is carrying. This week he surprised me with a gift.
It’s a wedge of wood, probably about as big as an old-school alarm clock. It’s been smoothed and painted and a message has been adhered to the front:
This Woman is the Best Mom Ever
“Our ALS students make things,” said my husband. “They sell them on Fridays.”
I turned it over to see the label on the bottom.
Handmade by ***** RHHS AL Stars
ALS stands for Academic Life Skills. Here’s what I could find online about the ALS programs at HCPSS:
Based on student needs outlined in the Individual Education Program (IEP), students receive their instruction in self-contained and/or general education classes with access to general education curriculum and extracurricular school activities as appropriate. Students are referred to the Academic Life Skills Programs through the school IEP team process, which includes the parents and representatives from the Department of Special Education and possible receiving schools.
Preparation for transition for post high school is an integral part of each program. A transition plan is developed to meet the unique needs of each student as they prepare to exit high school and may include in-school work experience, work enclave, and work study as appropriate. Students participate in a combination of a typical high school experience along with transition services.
All high schools have programs to support special needs students. In addition, Atholton and Oakland Mills High Schools are regional centers for students with more intensive needs.
I’ve been thinking a lot about this Mother’s Day gift since Friday, specifically about how we often call special needs students rock stars or inspirational while doing nowhere near enough to remove barriers to their success in school and in life.
Then again, we do that same thing with teachers - - particularly special education teachers - - depicting them as stars and heroes and miracle workers. But we don’t pay them enough, or fund their programs adequately, or give them enough time or staffing to do the work they need to do. We throw breakfast events and make teacher gifts and cards but, nice as they are, those things won’t ever remove the barriers our teachers face in the workplace or the toll this takes on their home lives.
Now we get to Mother’s Day. Today we will read many near-identical messages online from politicians, pastors, community groups, and commercial entities:
Mom, you’re a superstar! A superhero! A rockstar!
Interestingly enough, none of those wishes come backed with support for high quality childcare, funding for healthcare for mothers and children, equal pay for women, or legislation to support women’s rights. Those are all things which would empower mothers by removing barriers to their success.
I am beginning to see a trend here. When people call you a superhero or a rockstar year after year - - without taking the kind of actions necessary to support you - - what does that mean, exactly?
It means that you are in the powerless part of the equation. You are perceived as having no leverage. Oh yes, we love you just as you are but we would like you to stay within the boundaries society has made for you: inspirational but mostly invisible children and adults with special needs. Dedicated and overworked teachers upon whom entire school systems rest. Mothers who love and nurture and perform mind numbing and body breaking labor, day in and day out.
Superheros don’t need our help, nor do rockstars or superstars. They are there for us to marvel at or admire. They have power. We have absolutely no responsibility to them.
What if we took responsibility? What if we demanded that our elected officials take action? What would that look like? What if our love and admiration looked like meaningful inclusion and accommodation, fair pay and program support, legislation that supported women and children?
I’m thinking a lot about that today. Not because I am the Best Mom Ever but because I see political factions across the country overturning rights, taking away freedoms, and designating all the power for themselves. If you hear those folks saying nice words about women and children and teachers during this election season, you would be wise to check their track records. Are all those words meant to provide cover for keeping people in the powerless part of the equation?
You will know them by their deeds.
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