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How We Remember


 

I’ve been wandering around the internet looking for something local to write about in reference to Memorial Day. It’s easy enough to find listings of events.

Where you can honor our fallen heroes this Memorial weekend, WMAR ABC2

What I can’t find is a quote I read a few days ago that turned my thoughts about Memorial Day upside down. It said, and I’m paraphrasing here, that all who serve are ultimately fallen heroes: some die on the battlefield, the rest die in big and little ways after they come home, for the rest of their lives.

The severity of physical disabilities as a result of combat mean that those who come home wounded may forever be fighting the trauma of their injury. The percentage of veterans who suffer with PTSD, alcohol, and substance misuse as a result of their service is staggering. Yes, they are still living. They came home. But how much do most us really know about the battles they are still fighting?

This is not to belittle or dishonor the memory of those who have served and lost their lives in battle. We remember them. We think of the lost potential of lives unfinished. We mourn with their families and those they loved. We may know many military families or perhaps not even one, but we are connected somehow by knowing the gravity of the gift of service. 

For some Memorial Day is deeply personal. For others it is a symbolic expression of honor and gratitude. 

It shouldn’t, in my opinion, be a glorification of war or a chance to spout simplistic speeches about patriotism. If we are to honor the fallen the very least we can do is honor the truth about countries sending people to fight and die: it’s far from simple. The reality is deeply complicated and slapping jingoistic phrases and red, white, and blue clipart on it or draping it in flags can never sanctify the loss. I am deeply distrustful of those for whom the vocabulary of Memorial Day flows easily off the tongue yet has somehow never managed to touch their hearts or change their lives.

I’ve read hundreds of Memorial Day quotes this morning and this is the only one that resonates with me.

Ceremonies are important. But our gratitude has to be more than visits to the troops and once-a-year Memorial Day ceremonies. We honor the dead best by treating the living well.

— Jennifer M. Granholm


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