I notice that in discussions of women's childbearing or childlessness, the choice not to have a child is always framed as a pursuit of professional success—often characterized in sneering, judgmental terms as "girlboss"-style ambition. But there are other things women might want.
What if there were vast swaths of human interest and endeavor beyond reproduction and capital accumulation. What if I were neither mommy nor girlboss but a secret third thing. - - Moira Donegan, Opinion columnist covering gender and politics @guardianUS.
The conversation around the meaning of women’s existence has become increasingly more narrow as the war on reproductive freedom marches forward. One is either reproducing or selfish, reproducing or owing free labor to those who are. This is, of course, the point. A world that accepts and supports reproductive justice allows choice.
Those who worked to destroy Roe want a world in which choice is limited - - largely to white, affluent Christian nationalist men. All the things they want to see are dependent upon making others do things for them. And it is a world so simplistic that it cannot recognize nuance or contradiction of any kind.
The quote from Moira Donnegan just about broke me because it points out so vividly how small our conversations have become. The last sentence has an almost poignant quality.
What if I were neither mommy nor girlboss but a secret third thing.
We shouldn’t need to struggle merely to make room for a third thing. Our world should be big enough to contain choices far beyond three. It reminds me of this poem by the founder of Reggio Emilia.
The child is made of one hundred.
The child has
a hundred languages
a hundred hands
a hundred thoughts
a hundred ways of thinking
of playing, of speaking.
A hundred.
Always a hundred
ways of listening
of marveling, of loving
a hundred joys
for singing and understanding
a hundred worlds
to discover
a hundred worlds
to invent
a hundred worlds
to dream.
The child has
a hundred languages
(and a hundred hundred hundred more)
but they steal ninety-nine.
The school and the culture
separate the head from the body.
They tell the child:
to think without hands
to do without head
to listen and not to speak
to understand without joy
to love and to marvel
only at Easter and at Christmas.
They tell the child:
to discover the world already there
and of the hundred
they steal ninety-nine.
They tell the child:
that work and play
reality and fantasy
science and imagination
sky and earth
reason and dream
are things
that do not belong together.
And thus they tell the child
that the hundred is not there.
The child says:
No way. The hundred is there. - - Loris Malaguzzi, Founder of the Reggio Emilia Approach
*****
Human beings come into the world with “a hundred languages, a hundred hands, a hundred thoughts, a hundred ways of thinking, of playing, of speaking.” But if you have a uterus and/or were assigned female at birth, all those choices will be pruned away. They were not meant for you.
I renounce that. You do not need to be a mommy or a girl boss. You most certainly may look for meaning beyond those ridiculous limitations. Find your third thing, if you will, or explore hundreds. It should not need to be a secret.
It should be joyfully, gloriously who you are.
Comments
Post a Comment