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Again With the Blamers



Every time I nodded off last night our neighborhood pyrotechnics crew set off another blast. Many were close enough to feel as though they were bouncing off of our house. It was not a good night for sleep. 

*****

The past week has shown, yet again, that many people do not know what the Columbia Association does versus what Howard County does. This is a long-standing problem. I wrote a piece about this in 2013,


Sadly, one of my favorite links in this piece is no longer operational. It went to a page called, “Why I Pay CA?” If any of my internet savvy friends have a copy of that, I think it’s worth sharing. UPDATE: thanks to Ilana Bittner of HoCoMoJo for the link to the (now-archived) old page, “Why I Pay CA”. It may have been replaced by something superior and I’d be interested to see that, too. UPDATE: thanks to another observant reader I have the link to the new page, entitled “Who Handles What?

So many residents are woefully ignorant of the dynamics of CA as a Homeowners Association and how it differs from Howard County as a government entity. Many fruitless arguments could be avoided were this better known.

Of course, social media is the undisputed home of fruitless arguments, which is how I know that a subset of Columbia/HoCo thinks they are owed fireworks, pools, open malls, restaurants, businesses, and bars, schools/childcare so they can get back to work, and salons that don’t make them wear a mask. I’m not talking about being sad that we are living through a difficult time. I’m talking about people who are turning up again and again to say, “you owe me.”

This attitude is even more tiring to me than late night fireworks. I would rather be hanging out with people who are working to discover what the community needs and how they can offer to help than banging a figurative table demanding that they get what is “owed” them. 

In addition, our local demanders-in-chief have decided to assign ill intent to any decision that they don’t agree with. Eveything is crooked, or selfish, or mean-spirited, or a conspiracy. There’s very little room simply to say, “we are going through difficult times right now and I’m sad and disappointed.” The loudest voices are the blamers.

I wish I had a solution to this, I don’t. Even if we were all better educated about how the various facets of Columbia and Howard County work, there would be people who were angry that they weren’t getting their stuff. Or that it must be some kind of racket. There will always be people like that. They show up on the Internet, in letters to the editor, and at community forums. They have a whole lot to say and they do not want to relinquish the mic.

Let’s give them a run for their money. Let’s push back on misinformation. Respond to blame with reason. Gently redirect anger. Try kindness if at all possible. 

I’m going to try more of this today but, in the meantime, I need to go back to sleep. At long last it is quiet in my neighborhood and I think a nap is in order. No one owes it to me, but I’ll definitely be a nicer person later on if I can replace some lost sleep. It’s worth a try.








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