Where Are the Parents?

You’ve heard the question. You can envision the head shaking and tut tut tutting on the other side of it.

“Where are the parents?”

It’s almost always white people asking. I’d be extremely surprised if the question is ever about white kids.

Yesterday yet another report of racist behavior at a certain local high school came to light. At a sporting event - - big surprise. Similar reports have been documented for years in Howard County. What does it mean if people see the words “school” and “racism” in a headline and already know which school it is?

Apparently some folks think it couldn’t possibly be them. What the heck? Are all the other schools in Howard County participating in a years-long conspiracy to make up mean things about one school? For absolutely no reason?

Why on earth would they do that? There has certainly been no positive “payoff” for people who have called out bad behavior.

So, how do kids get like this? Where do they learn those words, those attitudes, those behaviors? Where do they learn to laugh or just look away at jokes and slurs and veiled threats? Who teaches them to make excuses?

Where are the parents?

I think we know. They’re teaching those toxic life lessons that someone taught to them. They’re reinforcing the denial of culpability that they have always received and that they expect to be bestowed upon their offspring.

And it goes on. Nothing changes. This reinforces a notion that we just won’t guarantee a safe and supportive environment in our schools if you are not white.

If you are a parent or care in any way about the future of our young people, I hope you find this as unacceptable as I do.

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