Skip to main content

Stuck


 

I’m trying so hard to focus on one thing that’s worth writing about today but the truth is that I woke up overwhelmed. There are plenty of local stories worth writing about today. My heart simply isn’t in it.

Yesterday my college-aged daughter was able to get a free home testing kit for COVID-19 from the Health Department and subsequently tested negative. I was deliriously happy for about two hours until the weight of all the continuing news of the omicron variant began to crush me. Word that treatment with monoclonal antibodies is no longer effective has pretty much wiped out any feeling of security I might have had in case I become ill.

A long standing Christmas Eve event will be canceled again this year. So far church is still in person but I feel much less safe about going. And what about celebrating with the members of our family who don’t live with us? What should we do?

My husband, who is a teacher, knows he is very likely being exposed to COVID daily and it is wearing on him. He keeps masking, keeps being careful, keeps teaching. All our teachers are crawling toward the Winter Break. All the while they are trying to make and maintain a safe and positive world for their students.

I guess I should try to do the same, make and maintain a safe and positive world in my own home as we prepare for Christmas. There is a tree to be decorated and presents to be wrapped. Holiday meals to shop for. I’m halfway through writing holiday cards. 

But I feel stuck.

Why write this? Mostly because I have a commitment to write every day. And because I sense that I am not alone. If you are feeling like this I want you to know I’m right there with you. (But distanced.) There must be some innate goodness in helping each other stumble along, even if separated by physical distance. Right now that's about all I’ve got.

The truth is that a year ago I was desperately ill with severe asthma and now I am not. This has been a year of healing and recovery for me. I have so much to be grateful for.   I should be celebrating. Right now I clearly need something to jump start my gratitude. 

Yesterday was the Winter Soltice. We know that now, each day, there will be a little more light. Warmth will return, Spring will come again. There will be light. But, for now, there is darkness. And there’s me, like Lucy, struggling with the reality of it.



Cartoon by Charles Schulz, rights owned by Peanuts Worldwide 


Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Getting Fresh

One of my favorite days in the Spring comes when this year’s list of Farmer’s Markets is released. That happened this week. New this year are markets in Old Ellicott City and the “Merriweather Market” which, according to the address, will be located here . I mistakenly thought at first glance that it was in the new-construction part of the Merriweather District. I find the name confusing considering its actual location. I’m going to guess that this market is an initiative of the Howard Hughes Corporation because the name seems chosen more for branding purposes than anything else.  Alas, the market in Maple Lawn is gone. The thread on the markets on the County Executive’s FB page will provide you with quite the education in who actually runs the Farmers Markets vs what people often think is going on. Short answer: they are not  chosen nor run by the county. Each market is an independent entity, sometimes started by community volunteers, other times supported by local businesses...
1 comment
Read more

They Can Wait

This is not a typical Saturday post. That’s because, in my community, it’s not a typical Saturday.  Oakland Mills High School, after years of deferred repair, needs massive renovation. It’s pretty simple: when you don’t fix a problem it gets bigger. The school system itself said the the OMHS school building was  "no longer conducive to learning" back in 2018.  2018 .  But Thursday the Boad of Education voted to push it out of the lineup of important projects which will be given the go-ahead to proceed soonest.  In my opinion it’s a terrible decision and sets a dangerous precedent. To explain, here’s the advocacy letter I sent in support of Oakland Mills High School. I was rather proud of it. I am writing to ask you to proceed with needed renovation at Oakland Mills High School in the most timely and comprehensive manner humanly possible. I have read the letter sent to you by the Oakland Mills Community Association and I am in complete agreement. You are extremel...
1 comment
Read more

What Kids Are Thinking

  It’s a Monday in February, and if you guessed that a lot of Howard County students have the new cell phone policy on their minds, you’d be right. It will mean big changes and it will be stressful, no matter how much good we hope it will do in the long run. But on this particular Monday cell phones might not be top of mind, as amazing as that seems. Some kids will go to school wondering if they or family members will be seized by ICE. Some will fear that their parents’ employment will be purged by the ongoing rampage of Elon Musk and his cronies through Federal Government. Some fear heightened and renewed racism as programs that supprted Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion are vilified and destroyed.  Some worry that it soon won’t be safe for them to use the bathroom in school anymore. It goes without saying that some kids fear going to school every day because of the prevalence of school shootings.  And look! Here’s something new to fear. That old hate group, Libs of TikTo...
1 comment
Read more