F ³: Popping the Question

This just in! From Howard Magazine, the question that’s on everyone’s mind:

Quick takes: What appliance could you not live without?, Allana Haynes, Howard Magazine

I don’t know why I found this so hilarious. I just did. I’m sure the idea for the piece came quite some time ago and no one imagined it would fall during a week of death and destruction. I mean, who knew?

The premise of these puff pieces is pretty simple: put a spotlight on local notables by asking a question that is mildly engaging but not in any way controversial. This provides an opportunity to put their picture in the article along with details about what they do.

Does it matter how they answer the question? I’m not sure if that’s even the point. It’s not life or death. It’s pleasant and mildly informative.

Part of me is contemplating how much fun it would be to ask a completely ridiculous question, for instance:

Which sock do you put on first?
How do you eat pizza?
What’s the weirdest dream you ever had?

Of course they’ll never be asked truly serious questions, like:

Does Howard County have enough housing for low wage workers?
Is the original vision for Columbia holding up in 2023?
Has your life been touched by mental illness?

This issue of Howard Magazine comes out close to the end of October. Some people are beginning to think about holiday shopping. Advertising in this issue may reflect that, as well. Perhaps a question about appliances is a subtle form of suggestive selling. The loved ones in your lives might want an appliance they can’t live without, and here are three recommendations.

I can’t wait to see adverts for a new dishwasher with a big red bow on it.

Since I have you here, what appliance could you not live without?

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