F ³: In the Marketplace

 

Oh, how I love Facebook Marketplace. Kind of. Sort of. Well, I like it well enough. It can be useful for finding things at a good price that are nearby to where you live. Sometimes. If you’re patient and determined. If you don’t lose your mind in the process. 

Once upon a time there were the classified ads in the newspaper and (in some areas) the PennySaver. These were largely replaced by Craigslist, and, to some extent, ebay. Years ago we bought a matching sofa set on ebay that was listed as being in Columbia. The owner turned out to live across the courtyard from us and he and my husband carried them across the grass! Now that’s hyperlocal shopping.

Then Facebook Marketplace got in the act. It’s right there, beckoning to you, while you’re scrolling on Facebook. What could be easier?

Yes, it’s easy. It’s also - - shall we say? - - quirky. 

Facebook Marketplace will have the thing you want close to you but it will somehow cost much more than you wanted to pay. Or it won’t be exactly what you wanted. (Close, but no cigar.) On the other hand, the exact thing you wanted at the right price will be dangled temptingly in front of you but you will discover that it’s located in Virginia. Or that someone is willing to ship it to you from Nome, Alaska for only a hundred dollars.

I have a bone to pick with so, so many Marketplace posters. Why do you list things for sale if you are not willing to include the most basic information about the items??? There should be a special circle in hell for people who post pieces of furniture without the measurements. Articles of clothing, including shoes, are useless to a potential buyer without sizes. I’m beginning to think there should be a little video tutorial on “how to post items for sale in an online forum.”

Ahem.

My new pet peeve/source of amusement is the sort of photo which gives no visual clues whatsoever as to what the item might be. Here is a sampling. 

Any guesses? In photo number one, here are mine (clockwise, starting at top left.) 

1. Welcome mat
2. The one that got away
3. Steering wheel
4. Hole with decorative cover 

What they really are:

1. Zippered pouch
2. VW Bug desk fan
3. Floor lamp
4. Accessory for a Love Sac couch

Got the hang of it? Let’s try photo number two! My guesses:

1. Jewelry box
2. Halloween costume for infant (or pet?)
3. Dog toy
4. Steering wheel cover?

What they really are:

1. Storage ottoman
2. Hand puppet
3. Chair (!!!)
4. Cup holder for sofa

A fun new family guessing game - - try it with your kids!

One last thing. I have learned the secret to finding exactly what you want on Facebook Marketplace. You can get all the stars to align: the item that you so desire, close to where you live, in good condition, at the cost you’re after. All you have to do is break down and purchase it somewhere else at the full retail price. And -  - presto! - -  the darn thing will turn up in your feed within 24 hours.

And that’s not all. Once you no longer need The Thing, it will be popping up aggressively for the next six months whether you like it or not. Suddenly everyone in Howard County will be waking up and saying, “There’s a woman in Columbia who wants a desk chair/water color paints/garden hose holder and I must sell her one right away!” 

Sigh. I don’t quite understand how it all works but, trust me. It works exactly like that.

If this post has made you wonder if there’s anything on Facebook Marketplace that you might need or want, may I suggest:

Giant Fork Wall Decor, gentleman not included (I hope!)

Got any good Facebook Marketplace stories? I’m all ears.

Village Green/Town² Comments