I’ve been hanging on to the following words (in screenshot form) since 2019. This post is from a group on Facebook called The Best Businesses of Howard County. It’s still relevant, so - - here goes:
I'd like to make a suggestion. When asking for recommendations, instead of saying "doesn't cost an arm and leg,"
"doesn't cost a fortune," or even
"reasonably priced," state your budget or max price.
People have different expectations of reasonable. For example, you might ask for venue suggestions. I want to suggest an amazing place that is $300 but your budget is $100. Then I could cater my suggestions to your budget or save you the trouble of calling a place that doesn't work with your budget.*
What is reasonably priced? Do we know? We know how much money we have and how much we are willing to spend. Maybe you feel uncomfortable sharing that kind of information publicly. But everyone wants to get a good deal, right?
Well…everyone with the exception of people who feel validated by spending the most possible amount on something so they can brag about it.
I’m guessing that’s not you.
Let’s take an individual purchase that you make regularly. You become quite familiar with how much it is likely to cost. Maybe it’s milk, for example. I may not be knowledgeable in all things but I do know how much Lactaid Whole Milk costs, what the store brand costs, and which stores charge substantially more than I am willing to pay for the privilege of having milk without lactose.
The problem comes in larger expenditures in areas unfamiliar to us, Your child doesn’t get married every day, for instance. Home repair and renovation. Finding high quality childcare when you are a new parent. These things can be very expensive and you know it. And the less you know about them, the more fearful you are about the decision.
Often we don’t know what these things cost in our area. What may feel expensive to us may be how much it really costs to provide that service in Howard County. So, if you are insisting on a substantially lower cost, you may not find anything or what you get may be far below what you had hoped for as far as quality is concerned.
The inquiries that really get my goat are ones where folks are truly trying to get people to work for less than what they are worth. This might be wedding photographers or musicians. It could be childcare providers. You have probably seen this. There must some angle that will open the door for them to get what they want for cheap. And someone must have raised them to believe that this is how the world works: those people are just trying to rip you off. You just have to be tougher. I sometimes wonder if these are the same people who leave abysmal tips after excellent service. Or no tip at all, because they “just can’t afford it.”
Don’t do this. Don’t expect that a student photographer wants to do your photo shoot for exposure. Don’t think a wedding organist or a band should be happy with a bottle of wine or dinner. And for heaven’s sake, don’t denigrate the work of childcare by leaning on their already inadequate pay.
These are actions that people in power use to exploit those who are dependent upon their favor.
It is fair to say, “This is how much I have to spend - - is that a reasonable amount to get what I am looking for?” when you are asking around for recommendations. It’s not fair to make our local small businesses and/or entrepreneurs feel like they don’t have a right to fair compensation.
You would not want to be treated that way. Your personal budget is dependent upon your employer paying you fairly and consistently. What about the person you hope to do business with? Their needs are not so different than yours. They are your neighbors, after all.
An educated consumer is one thing. An exploitative consumer is quite another.
*If by some crazy coincidence you are reading this and you are the author of these words, let me know if you wish to be credited. - - jam
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