F ³: It’s Time to Play The Game Again!

It depends on how you look at it. 

The annual onslaught of social media content about stocking stuffers has begun and they’re all too expensive to be stocking stuffers, as usual. Sigh.

Or:

The annual onslaught from The Olds that “holiday celebrations are not what they used to be” - - and are therefore wrong - - has begun. 

Take your pick. 

Yes, I’ve written about this before. I’m wedded to the notion that stocking stuffers should be small both in cost and in size. All while being fun and appealing. I guess that, to me, stocking stuffer gifts are the Children’s Chat of Christmas morning.

I also wish that commercial entities wouldn’t start pushing Christmas consumerism at us until Thanksgiving. BUT…

I’m not in charge of either one and, in my heart of hearts, I don’t want to tell other people how to celebrate. There ain’t no war on Christmas, Virginia, and no war on Christmas Stockings, neither. No one will stop me from doing it the way I like. And yet…

Those perky examples of holiday content breathlessly assuring us that we can find stocking stuffers for under fifty dollars manage to get my goat. Every year. I really should stop clicking on them.

Friends, it’s an annual reminder that popular culture isn’t validating my preference. Alert the authorities!!! Nah. It’s annoying and somewhat disheartening but hardly the end of the world in the great scheme of things. (You can take your pick on that, too.)

This year, just for fun, I decided to make a list of things that would definitely fit in a Christmas Stocking but are not suitable as stocking suffers. This was my first attempt.

I decided to do a quick Google search. I was startled by categories across the top.

Let’s do a close up.

Um…what? If I were able to track all the money I have spent for Christmas gifts in my entire life it would not hit $35,000. This is a side of Google I did not know existed.

I’d like to thank the friends who played my game and offered the following:

• Apple Watch
• Car keys for new car
• Several live mice
• Belgian chocolates 
• Theatre tickets 
• Designer dress (must be a skimpy dress!)
• Underwear that isn’t sexy or funny
• Puppy
• Condoms
• Bunch of matches
• Evidence that your Significant Other has been unfaithful 
• Clarinet mouthpiece and box of reeds

While I was looking for small, wildly expensive luxury items I got some truly unexpected suggestions. I’ll let you puzzle out which ones those were. (If you are going to give underwear that isn’t sexy or funny, I recommend doing it the way my in-laws did. )

My Christmas stocking was handmade for me out of real wool felt so it has a few moth-holes in it now. Some of the sequins have come loose. Our little house doesn’t have a fireplace where I can hang it up. Let’s face it: I can’t find fun “gifty” things for seventy-nine cents at Woolworths, either. 

But, oddly enough, this year’s peeve-fest has revealed to me something I might have missed otherwise. I didn’t have a very happy childhood. I live with the fruits of that every day. And yet my memories of Christmas Stockings are of pure delight. Truly. Unalloyed joy. 

As the young folks say, 10/10: no notes. 

If you want to play the game, you know where to send your answers.

Village Green/Town² Comments