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Home: It’s Enough



I’ve been sifting through old blog posts this morning. It’s dark, and it’s raining, and I’m sitting in an empty house contemplating my birthday. I’m not feeling sorry for myself, mind you, but I am looking for some perspective on the day.

(I just deleted three paragraphs so I’m not sure I’ve found it yet.)

The last five weeks have upended my life. There’s no visible plan for returning to normal as yet. I don’t want sympathy or a prize.  I’m pausing to reflect on this because it has taught me something I needed to know.

I had the absolutely perfect life. Just the way it was. And I didn’t know it.

I didn’t think I was doing enough,

achieving enough, 

being enough, 

growing and improving enough.

I continually wrestled with seeing myself in one long arc of unfulfilled potential.

Oddly, it took a sudden and radical change to make me realize that that life was enough. I was enough. And that my life, family, friendships, and community were just what I wanted. The perfect gifts.

I’ve brought all those gifts into a new world of living in a different place, learning how to be a caregiver, and balancing necessary tasks with moments of recharging my sanity. Thank goodness. I do not know what I would have done without them. 

Everything I’ve been experiencing, especially during the last five years, has prepared me for the life I’m living now. I can’t pretend to understand how that works but I’m glad I can recognize it and be grateful.

Writing a community blog about Columbia and Howard County while I have rarely been here has been weird but also strangely comforting. You all are my anchor - - my familiar place. This blog and my readers are my connection to the life that was enough, is enough, and that I want to come back to just as soon as the time is right.

This year I’m not asking people to make donations to a cause for my birthday but I do have a suggestion. Take a moment to think of at least one thing in your life that is wonderful just the way it is. 

There’s no place like home. Carry some with you wherever you go.


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