A Little Beverly Hills

 

 

The local story we all need this morning comes from Maryland Patch:

$2.1M Mediterranean Estate In Columbia Has Dance Floor, Sauna , Kristin Danley-Greiner

COLUMBIA, MD — The most expensive home on the market in Columbia happens to be this $1.8 million beauty at 11536 Manorstone Lane.

Oh my word how I hate this house. There is not one good thing I can say about it. Well, one of the bedrooms is a restful shade of blue. That’s it.

This house is so gaudy, so over the top that it just about makes you laugh out loud. Each room is worse than the next. The Patch piece claims this house is in Columbia, but one look at this house and you doubt it. This kind of structure must be located in the Land of Outparcel. Apparently it’s in a subdivision called Forest Glen. You may be able to put the word Columbia in the mailing address but, really, Jim Rouse would have laughed this thing right out of town.

Or would he? Take a look at this article about Forest Glen written in 1997 for the Baltimore Sun:

Forest Glen subdivision has town's priciest homes Exclusive community departs from goals of Rouse, some say , Erin Texeira

Forest Glen would like to be a little Bethesda or a little Beverly Hills.

What were they thinking?

Let me pause here to say that, if you designed this house, or staged it, or once lived here and loved it, I apologize for my unmitigated criticism. Please don’t take my words personally. If it makes you feel better, just shake your head and say “there’s no accounting for taste.”

Truly, there isn’t.

Where were we? Well, if you enjoy “loving to hate” architectural overkill you might enjoy spending some time over at McMansion Hell, the brainchild of Kate Wagner. You can also follow her on Twitter @mcmansionhell. 

In the meantime, make sure you take the time to savor each perfectly awful room in this (2.1 million? 1.8 million?) priceless home. A virtual tour might be enhanced by making a play-along scavenger hunt, car bingo, or I Spy game. Get your friends together on Zoom and make a toast every time you spot an unnecessary luxury finish or a headsmackingly awful decorating choice. 

I know! The entire thing could be an Escape Room! (I’d be highly motivated to escape.)

So I learned something today. This, too, is Columbia. I never would have believed it if I hadn’t seen it with my own eyes.