F ³: Adventures in Microwaving

 

I received my first microwave when I was in my young married years. It was not long after that I discovered its limitations when I attempted to warm up a biscuit from last night’s dinner and somehow created a carbonized hockey puck. Microwaves are oh, so handy but you have to learn how they work and what they do well. 

For instance, they’re not so good for toaster pastries.

And, although it’s tempting, you really shouldn’t warm honey in those cute honey bear containers.

Honestly, I thought I knew everything I needed to know about microwaves until this week. I was steaming some prepared Korean-style dumplings according to the package directions and the end result was…um…surprising.

The brief ninety-second process had created a vacuum and nothing, but nothing, would get those two dishes apart: not brute force, nor careful prying with a knife. I tried running cold water over the bowl part, and applying a freezer cold pack to the plate part.

Friends, I did not have dumplings for dinner. I had Ben & Jerry’s. 

Unbeknownst to me, my husband had texted a Korean coworker and asked if this had ever happened to him. Oh yes, it had. He wanted to know what the directions said. 

Place bowl over dumplings on microwave safe plate and microwave for ninety seconds. 

At this point the phone rang. It was the friend. It turns out that the directions were missing a crucial piece of information: the bowl must be larger than the plate. 

Oh.

I stuck the entire misbegotten vacuum-sealed dinner in the refrigerator and went to bed. The next day it was magically unstuck but I was so mad about the entire experience that I threw it all in the trash. I wanted nothing to do with it at that point. And, when lunchtime rolled around, I took an entirely different approach with the rest of the dumplings.

My victory over dumplings was particularly delicious.

Last night we went to Target to replace the plate and the bowl that met their untimely end in the Great Dumpling Massacre of 2023. I solemnly promise that I will never again steam dumplings in the microwave unless the Bowl is Larger than the Plate.

Village Green/Town² Comments

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