Saturday, November 23, 2013

Not Cool

A long-running thread through this blog, and, dare I say, my life, is a desire to be one of The Cool Kids. I don't know why it has troubled me so much over the years. It's probably rooted in a desire to be liked, combined with a rebellious streak that it doesn't really matter. At all. Not one bit.

But it did.

I've never felt as though I was "like other people". As I have gotten older I realize how many of us feel that way, almost to the point of it being a meaningless distinction. What on earth did I expect? That the well-dressed, popular kids in school went home, looked in the mirror and smilingly chirped, "I'm just like other people!" It doesn't work that way. Whatever insecurities I had, others had their own. As much as I felt an odd duck, so did others who perhaps I thought were the coolest of the cool.

This week I found myself struggling with rejection and my first response was to flail about, desperate to get back into the inner circle of coolness. It's embarrassing to be excluded. I'm very fortunate to have friends who listen to me and support me when times are hard. Their advocacy and empathy are far better than acceptance into the coolest of clubs, for their acceptance is complete, and not capricious.

The upshot of this is that I have realized that it is better to be myself than to live in fear of being shut out of the club. To that end, Village Green/Town Squared will no longer be associated with the HoCo Blogs brand. You may have noticed it was cut earlier in the week. I have decided, after much thought, that I will not ask to have it reinstated. Look for links on Facebook, or subscribe directly right here. Your readership gives life to my words.

I look forward to continued fellowship and collaboration with Howard County bloggers and readers. It's not about hanging with the cool kids so much as enjoying the company of friends. And that is the best place to be, after all. For a community blogger like me, that's where Columbia and Howard County intersect. And that is precisely where I want to be.




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