Thursday, January 23, 2014

Blame It on a Blog Post

Councilwoman Courtney Watson posted the follow last night on Facebook:

Parents, please walk your children to bus stops tomorrow if you can and bring a shovel. Help make the bus stops safe for children to stand by clearing the snow. Be safe!

I thought this was great advice, and a good example of thinking ahead to deal with a tough situation. However, this did not stop my mind from taking off on a hippity hoppity spree as I imagined legions of parents taking to the street with shovels. Cue ominous cinematic soundtrack...

Nothing good can come of this, you are thinking. You are right.

Now that one can Google the term, "carrying a shovel" none of us are safe from Too Much Information. I learned a lot from an article called "10 reasons to carry a shovel with you at all times". This is not to be confused with an Oatmeal post with a similar-sounding title, "4 reasons to carry a shovel at all times". Don't click on that, just don't.

My favorite, however, was the following from a NaNoWriMo website:

I've decided that one of my characters will be carrying a magical shovel when he goes through the magic portal to a fantasy world. What I can't figure out is why, since when he left home he was planning on meeting someone for coffee before she leaves town for distant parts, he would be carrying a full sized shovel. His having the shovel is actually an important plot point.

-- Serpent Rose

If you are wondering how I happened to get so carried away this morning, you need look no further than this blog post by Mickey Gomez, "Vintage 50s Hair-Don’ts". One need only read one of Mickey's blog posts to find oneself sucked into a Twilight-Zone-esque universe where good intentions morph into instant disaster and hair brushes are malevolent beings.

The goodwill of caring parents bearing shovels didn't stand a chance. Soon I imagined people all over Howard County, dazed, disoriented, looking for magic portals. Others, more resourceful, might be using multi-purpose shovels to cut down trees, make a fire, and cook lunch. If you see anyone in the check out line with a shovel, let them go ahead of you. Trust me on this.

In conclusion: read Mickey's blog post, buy tickets to the Howard County Library's Evening in the Stacks, and save a little money to tip a celebrity bartender. If you're wondering what to wear, well, they say shovels look good with everything...


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