Monday, December 29, 2014

Small Town

I retain a peculiar fascination with old-time, small town news papers whose existence became known to me largely through reading books of newspaper bloopers.

St. John's Church is forming a Little Mothers Club. All women wishing to become Little Mothers should meet with the pastor in his private study after the service.

The bride's mother, Eugenia Brantley Scoggins, enters the church. All eyes are on her as she picks her seat.

The Smiths are away visiting relatives in Greece. We wish them well as they see family and other antiquities.

In some ways Facebook has returned us to the days of the small town newspaper. Where before, all news was gathered by word of mouth and had to be typed up, printed, and disseminated, today we are inundated in our own homes with a seemingly endless flow of personal anecdotes.

Yes, I know there are plenty of significant news stories to be had. But just imagine, if you will, a collection of small-town news in the style of Grovers Corners, New Hampshire.

Today's headlines:

Mr. and Mrs. D. celebrated their forty-first wedding anniversary by visiting the Prime Rib at Maryland Live.

The daughter of Mr. and Mrs. M. Is celebrating her birthday while visiting her in-laws in Pennsylvania.

Mr. and Mrs. K. thank all the recent well-wishers who extended offers of care during their recent illness and are happy to report that everyone is now on the mend.

The Animal Adoption Center reports that Mrs. S. And family are overjoyed at the adoption of their bunny, Snickers.

Three cheers for the boys and girls of Oakland Mills High School Basketball, winners of the recent Winter Tournament.

Mrs. F. is making a soup with her leftover Christmas ham.

As for me, I'll be enjoying a visit from out-of-town guests Chris, Jen, and their son Will. We'll be opening presents, eating out, and talking way too much. We'll probably send the kids for a walk over to Blandair if they get restless. What are your headlines?


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