Sunday, September 16, 2018


Today is my older daughter’s sixth wedding anniversary. Yesterday her cousin announced his engagement. Somewhere I have photos of the two of them playing together as toddlers but I’m going to restrain myself.

Today is apparently Wife Appreciation Day. If you have one, you know what to do.

Not all women are wives or mothers. It seems you must be one or the other or both to have a Day named after you for the purpose of appreciation and gift giving. To be a woman is to be defined by one’s relationship to others.

When we set defaults and choose what is the norm there will undoubtedly be those who are left out.  What if we didn’t.? What would that look like?

If marriage or singleness were appreciated
If childbearing or not were valued states
If bathrooms were for everyone
If schools welcomed and lifted up everyone equally
If the powers that be called dads as much as moms when a child gets sick
If different household incomes were accepted amongst HoCo residents

What would that look like? Some would find it frightening or uncomfortable. Is it even possible?

I don’t know. But I do know that we can do better than the same-old, same-old.

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