Oh, my goodness. Without NextDoor I would not have known this crucial etiquette rule.
PSA Neighbors!!!!!!!
When you see someone walking THEIR dog it is rude and dismissive to ONLY acknowledge the dog attached to the Human. We are all human beings and neighbors in this community you should greet the human first then ask to greet and or pet the dog (with permission) You wouldn't do this with a child. Please and thank you!
This rather emphatic post, from a resident of Columbia Town Center, floored me. I always talk to the dog first. I smile at dogs. I chat with dogs. I practically flirt with dogs. I had no idea there was an Emily Post protocol for these things.
Now, when it comes to petting, I completely agree that this should be done only with the owner’s prior consent. And the dog’s, for that matter. If you pay attention, it’s usually pretty clear whether or not a dog wants to be touched. That’s why I used to worry as a teacher when young children wanted to run up and immediately pat dogs. They haven’t yet developed that sense of observing and respecting an animal’s boundaries.
But, for the moment, lets get back to talking to dogs. You do talk to dogs, don’t you?
I suspect my interactions with furry, four-footed creatures who are out and about with their people probably stems from my innate shyness. I rarely look at or talk to people I don’t know. In fact, I think I may have been raised to think that wasn’t polite. In specific social interactions it was acceptable to speak - - to thank the person who opened the door for you, to ask a very tall person to reach something on the top shelf at the grocery, or the person at the bus stop if they had seen the Number 3 come along yet.
But just walking down the street? Nope. You kept your eyes down and went about your business.
On the other hand, some folks are raised that it is polite to make eye contact and greet people in those circumstances. They find the lack of interaction odd and, frankly, rude. This occasionally leads to some uncomfortable moments when both parties involved are simply doing what their parents raised them to do.
Oh, but dogs…it’s always polite to talk to dogs. They are the ice-breakers, the bridge over the stiffness and stand-offishness of human existence. Even when you have been admonished a thousand times not to talk to strangers, you will look at a dog and melt.
“Oh…you’re beautiful. You know you are, don’t you?”
That’s when it becomes permissible (in my mind) to raise one’s eyes and address the human.
“What a lovely dog. What breed is it?” (Or a similar polite and not-too-personal question.)
For those of us who were raised that it wasn’t polite to start a conversation with a stranger “for no good reason”, dogs are the reason. If it were necessary to greet the person first, I would never have been able to talk to a dog.
That’s just me. It may be different for you.
The down side of all this is that there are those unscrupulous types who will use a dog precisely to overcome people’s social boundaries, especially those of children. And that’s why it is so important to teach children the safest ways to behave around dogs and strangers. Sad, but true.
Our NextDoor poster clearly has had some bad experiences. (Or is an etiquette expert wannabe.) What do you think? Is greeting the dog first rude to the human? Are there rules about this that I don’t know about?
Fill me in.
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