Suburban Fears

Call the police. 

If you want to know when to call the police, you should definitely go to NextDoor. They will tell you to call the police for any old thing. Correction: if you want justification for calling the police, that is. 

Someone’s walking down the street who looks odd to you? Call the police. 

Neighbor’s party too loud? Call the police. 

Someone’s dog pees on your flower pots? Call the police.

So, what is it this time, you ask?

Kids shouldn't be out after 9 p.m. Call the police. 

Yikes.

Here’s the context: a post expressing frustration and annoyance:

Kid decided to bang on my garage or the next door neighbors door at 9:45 pm last night…

Okay, that’s annoying - - and possibly frightening? - - but is that a good reason to call the police? How did we get from a personal experience related by a frustrated neighbor to this response to her complaint?

Kids shouldn't be out after 9 p.m. Call the police. 

Another poster took issue with this, saying:

School is out. Kids can be out as late as their parents permit. Banging on garage doors is not okay. Being out certainly is.

You’d be amazed to learn how many people were shocked to learn that. It’s not what they wanted to believe. Because it’s a whole lot easier if you criminalize the very act of being out after 9 pm. Then you can feel justified in calling the police.

One of the recurring themes on NextDoor about situations like this is “where are the parents?” People go on and on about the nameless, faceless parents who are simply not raising their kids right. I often wonder why we don’t know our neighbors well enough to go outside and talk to the annoying kids. When did the accepted norm for non-violent suburban disturbances become an automatic call to the police?

I know I am inviting the exception that proves the rule, but - - I don’t think I’ve ever seen a police report in Columbia/HoCo where an adult went out to talk to unruly kids and came to an untimely end. Is that what people think - - that our community is full of armed teenaged gangs who will kill you if you leave your fortress house to converse with them about banging on your garage door?

If we knew our neighbors better and felt a sense that we were all “in community” with one another, would we handle situations like this differently? 

Okay, at nine forty five pm I would probably be in my nightclothes already and I would feel dopey putting on a bathrobe and slippers to handle an awkward situation. I get that. But is that a good reason to call the police? Once you call the police all kinds of things are set in motion. Nationwide the outcomes to such calls are often unwarranted violence against Black and Brown community members, and those with developmental disabilities or experiencing a mental health crisis.

I wrote about this last year when I looked at the move away from National Night Out in some communities across the US. 

What Makes Us Safer? August 22, 2022

“Recently retired Ravens football player Torrey Smith, a Howard County resident, related the following experience on Twitter:

Nothing like a casual encounter with Karen walking the dog smh

Update: She called the cops 😑

The lady told me last night “You don’t live here, I live here” as I’m 40 yards from my property and half a mile from hers 😑

This is definitely a case where knowing one’s neighbors would be a vast improvement over the white, affluent fall-back position: the police are here to protect me. Just call them; they’ll handle it.”

Calling the police can have life or death consequences. Why are so many people willing to pick up that phone?