Skip to main content

Non è mai troppo tardi




I’m sharing my very first legitimately “published” piece in this week’s Free Form Friday. It appeared in this summer’s issue of the Mount Holyoke Alumnae Quarterly as the back page “My Voice” essay. If you know me in real life you may have already seen this. It’s the story of how I was diagnosed with ADHD just shy of my sixty-second birthday. 

Solving the Puzzle of Myself

I’ve been squeamish about putting this out into the world because I have worried what people would think. I’ve finally decided to face that fear and be done with it. The truth is, my brain works differently. Perhaps if more people understood the neurological basis of ADHD there would be fewer assumptions that it’s a character flaw or some kind of lazy excuse.

I’ve learned that girls are far less likely to be diagnosed with ADHD because we often present differently. We’re not the textbook wiggly, impulsive (boys) that many teachers and clinicians can easily recognize. I’ve discovered that some women who I deeply admire were also diagnosed as adults. One of them wrote to me:

…your blog is in part the representation of what we excel at: making immediate relationships/connections that people miss.

Oh.

Probably the biggest challenge I have faced since diagnosis is grieving what might have been. 

My life would have been so different with medication and supports. I do feel a sense of grief that I can’t have those years back to live differently.

My psychiatrist, who grew up in Italy, told me the story of his favorite childhood television show. It had actually been created to teach adults how to read, but for some reason he just loved it. The name of the show was “non è mai troppo tardi”, which translates as “It’s never too late.”

He shared this with me to remind me that my story isn’t over yet. I still have time to make sense of things, make choices, pursue my dreams. Those five words in Italian have become something of a talisman for me. I’m not a tattoo sort of person, but, should I ever decide to get one, that’s what it would say.

People sometimes talk about how there’s a whole new life ahead of you in retirement. That’s certainly true for me. In many ways I’m getting to know myself all over again. 

I just kept going until one day I found myself.



Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Getting Fresh

One of my favorite days in the Spring comes when this year’s list of Farmer’s Markets is released. That happened this week. New this year are markets in Old Ellicott City and the “Merriweather Market” which, according to the address, will be located here . I mistakenly thought at first glance that it was in the new-construction part of the Merriweather District. I find the name confusing considering its actual location. I’m going to guess that this market is an initiative of the Howard Hughes Corporation because the name seems chosen more for branding purposes than anything else.  Alas, the market in Maple Lawn is gone. The thread on the markets on the County Executive’s FB page will provide you with quite the education in who actually runs the Farmers Markets vs what people often think is going on. Short answer: they are not  chosen nor run by the county. Each market is an independent entity, sometimes started by community volunteers, other times supported by local businesses...

They Can Wait

This is not a typical Saturday post. That’s because, in my community, it’s not a typical Saturday.  Oakland Mills High School, after years of deferred repair, needs massive renovation. It’s pretty simple: when you don’t fix a problem it gets bigger. The school system itself said the the OMHS school building was  "no longer conducive to learning" back in 2018.  2018 .  But Thursday the Boad of Education voted to push it out of the lineup of important projects which will be given the go-ahead to proceed soonest.  In my opinion it’s a terrible decision and sets a dangerous precedent. To explain, here’s the advocacy letter I sent in support of Oakland Mills High School. I was rather proud of it. I am writing to ask you to proceed with needed renovation at Oakland Mills High School in the most timely and comprehensive manner humanly possible. I have read the letter sent to you by the Oakland Mills Community Association and I am in complete agreement. You are extremel...

What Kids Are Thinking

  It’s a Monday in February, and if you guessed that a lot of Howard County students have the new cell phone policy on their minds, you’d be right. It will mean big changes and it will be stressful, no matter how much good we hope it will do in the long run. But on this particular Monday cell phones might not be top of mind, as amazing as that seems. Some kids will go to school wondering if they or family members will be seized by ICE. Some will fear that their parents’ employment will be purged by the ongoing rampage of Elon Musk and his cronies through Federal Government. Some fear heightened and renewed racism as programs that supprted Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion are vilified and destroyed.  Some worry that it soon won’t be safe for them to use the bathroom in school anymore. It goes without saying that some kids fear going to school every day because of the prevalence of school shootings.  And look! Here’s something new to fear. That old hate group, Libs of TikTo...