The Language of Exclusion

The Howard County Schools are observing LGBTQ+ Pride in a variety of developmentally-appropriate ways this month. Some activities are happening in school, some are events outside of school that families may choose to attend with their children. A group of parents want no part of that. They submitted a letter of protest. It reads: 

“To the educators and policymakers of HCPSS,

This letter is on behalf of a sizable (230+) community of parents/guardians with children enrolled in various HCPSS elementary, middle, and high schools. We write to express our deep concerns about how HCPSS is implementing LGBTQ student support programs and activities in its schools.

We respect the rights of the LGBTQ community and appreciate HCPSS’s efforts to remain inclusive to all communities of students. We are not opposed to HCPSS providing support for LGBTQ students so that they are not marginalized and are treated with the same dignity and respect due to all students. But we are deeply disturbed by the strong pressure in HCPSS schools for all students to conform in actively promoting the LGBTQ lifestyle, or else be marginalized themselves.

Whether or not to participate in an activity to express support for a cause should remain every individual student’s choice, and those choices should be honored equally for all views. It is no different from a school offering an alternative activity when a student chooses not to participate in a Halloween parade, for example. If a school fails to ensure that whatever choice a student makes regarding personal matters (whether academic or social/cultural) the choice is honored, valued, and accepted, then the school’s administration is not doing its job and is failing the student. Unless a student’s personal choice would be harmful to others or the student him-/herself,* it should not be brushed aside or looked down upon, and certainly should not subject the student to bullying.

Mindful of that, we implore the school system to review the process of conducting its LGBTQ student support programs and activities. Our children have experienced actual instances where expressing a personal choice not to participate in certain LGBTQ support activities has sparked harsh feedback in several schools, including Bonnie Branch Middle School. For example, when a student at Bonnie Branch MS openly expressed her choice in class not to participate in one of the LGBTQ support activities because of her traditional Christian beliefs, she was immediately ostracized by classmates with charges of being ‘homophobic’ and a ‘bigot’. The student shared that she felt bullied then, and whenever else she does not agree to participate in LGBTQ events/activities in her school.

Howard county leaders have always emphasized Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion. What kind of inclusion and equity is observed when a young student is made to feel rejected and standing all alone because she expressed her sincere Christian beliefs? What kind of character building and critical thinking development can parents expect in an environment where students feel pressured to ‘just go with the flow, as nothing will change’ if they dissent on complicated issues like this?

We respectfully request that you establish guidelines or other measures to create an environment in HCPSS schools where all ideas, thoughts, and personal choices are duly honored and welcomed. The concept of 'Freedom of Speech' is fundamental to our free society, and learning of our children having to silence themselves simply because their choices are not popular or widely accepted is seriously alarming.

Suppressing individual expression in the name of LGBTQ awareness/support flies in the face of our Constitutional guarantees of individual rights.

We are committed to making sure that every single school in HCPSS is a place where student choices are recognized and honored without prejudice or bias.”

*****

Where to begin? Well, how about this: comparing sexual orientation and gender identity to participation in a Halloween parade is particularly galling. People do not “put on” being gay or transgender like a Halloween costume. 

To highlight how completely discriminatory their arguments are here, I have taken the liberty of substituting a few words. 

“To the educators and policymakers of HCPSS,

This letter is on behalf of a sizable (230+) community of parents/guardians with children enrolled in various HCPSS elementary, middle, and high schools. We write to express our deep concerns about how HCPSS is implementing Black student support programs and activities in its schools.

We respect the rights of the Black community and appreciate HCPSS’s efforts to remain inclusive to all communities of students. We are not opposed to HCPSS providing support for Black students so that they are not marginalized and are treated with the same dignity and respect due to all students. But we are deeply disturbed by the strong pressure in HCPSS schools for all students to conform in actively promoting the Black-positive lifestyle, or else be marginalized themselves.

Whether or not to participate in an activity to express support for a cause should remain every individual student’s choice, and those choices should be honored equally for all views. It is no different from a school offering an alternative activity when a student chooses not to participate in a Halloween parade, for example. If a school fails to ensure that whatever choice a student makes regarding personal matters (whether academic or social/cultural) the choice is honored, valued, and accepted, then the school’s administration is not doing its job and is failing the student. Unless a student’s personal choice would be harmful to others or the student him-/herself,* it should not be brushed aside or looked down upon, and certainly should not subject the student to bullying.

Mindful of that, we implore the school system to review the process of conducting Black student support programs and activities. Our children have experienced actual instances where expressing a personal choice not to participate in certain Black support activities has sparked harsh feedback in several schools, including Bonnie Branch Middle School. For example, when a student at Bonnie Branch MS openly expressed her choice in class not to participate in one of the Black support activities because of her traditional White beliefs, she was immediately ostracized by classmates with charges of being ‘racist’ and a ‘bigot’. The student shared that she felt bullied then, and whenever else she does not agree to participate in Black-positive events/activities in her school.

Howard county leaders have always emphasized Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion. What kind of inclusion and equity is observed when a young student is made to feel rejected and standing all alone because she expressed her sincere White beliefs? What kind of character building and critical thinking development can parents expect in an environment where students feel pressured to ‘just go with the flow, as nothing will change’ if they dissent on complicated issues like this?

We respectfully request that you establish guidelines or other measures to create an environment in HCPSS schools where all ideas, thoughts, and personal choices are duly honored and welcomed. The concept of 'Freedom of Speech' is fundamental to our free society, and learning of our children having to silence themselves simply because their choices are not popular or widely accepted is seriously alarming.

Suppressing individual expression in the name of Black awareness/support flies in the face of our Constitutional guarantees of individual rights.

We are committed to making sure that every single school in HCPSS is a place where student choices are recognized and honored without prejudice or bias.”

A reminder:

In battles over slavery and racial segregation, religion and scripture were often cited as justification for maintaining inequality. Until the civil rights era, refusals to serve African Americans were often cloaked under the guise of religious freedom. “Discriminating in the name of religion? Segregationists and slaveholders did it, too.” Tessa Wenger, Washington Post

These Howard County parents are, in essence, asking the school system to carve out a special protected category for them that will enable them and their children to discriminate against LGBTQ+ students, teachers, and families without consequence or reproach.

But the school system could not possibly do that.  This is why:

The Howard County Public School System does not discriminate on the basis of race, color, creed, national origin, immigration status, religion, physical, mental, or educational disability, pregnancy, age, gender, gender expression, gender identity, genetic information, sexual orientation, marital status, veteran status or socioeconomic status in its educational programs; including co-curricular and extra-curricular activities, in the workplace or in hiring practices.

- - HCPSS Non-Discrimination Statement

Allowing the sort of rejection/discrimination these parents are asking for would be wrong. It would most assuredly cause harm, and: it’s illegal. 

Public schools are for all children. That means that the school system is acting to fulfill its own mission by supporting initiatives that embrace the identities of all children. If you agree, I’d ask you to take a look at the follow petition, sign it, and share it. 

Acceptance & Affirmation of LGBTQ+ Students By HCPSS

We believe that creating a welcoming environment for LGBTQ+ students is not “indoctrination” but a necessity. LGBTQ students have experienced countless instances of verbal and physical violence at the hands of their non-supportive peers. Fully supporting these minority students can help mitigate the damaging impact of non-acceptance. (From the petition text.)

Taking such a public stand for non-acceptance tells a great deal about the authors and signers of this letter. 

I am confident that the larger community stands for something more inclusive and welcoming. Let’s make that absolutely clear.

*Italics mine.