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Get Off My Lawn

 



I was trying to find someone’s house yesterday in a perfectly lovely neighborhood in Columbia. And I just about gave up and went home.

Beautiful houses, beautiful yards. 

Very few house numbers.

I realize that this is a relatively minute topic to be carping about, but: aren’t dwellings required to have house numbers? 

Perhaps I am wrong about this. Perhaps labeling your house is a free choice activity. Or perhaps we have a surprising number of locals whose homes are enrolled in a witness protection program. 

I did some quick checking this morning. Howard County does have regulations pertaining to house numbers, primarily to aid first responders. That makes sense. I’m curious as to the reasoning behind leaving one’s house unlabeled. It seems like the oddest “you can’t find me” game ever.

People often complain about all the rules in Columbia pertaining to the exterior of one’s home. And there are a lot of them. Color, style, windows, doors, fences…I hate to be the person coming along and adding one more thing. 

But since my opinion carries no legal weight, here goes:

House numbers should be big enough to see from the road. The font should be readable rather than decorative. The color should provide adequate contrast to the background. And it would be absolutely thrilling if all house numbers were posted in the same place on each house. 

Bonus: is your house number visible after dark? 

True confession: I live in a neighborhood of quadroplexes. The community signage is pretty terrible. Our house faces sideways so the numbering is not visible from the road and the label itself (came with the house) is black numbers on a brown background.

People get lost regularly trying to find us. I send detailed directions in advance. I have greeted many hapless delivery drivers by walking down to the road in my socks. This is probably why I have fantasized about having a lighthouse in our yard.

For the rest of you - - who live in single-family, detached homes - - would it really kill you to post your house number in an easy-to-read way?

Okay, I’m done being cranky. Do you have any opinions on house numbers? Let me know.


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