I spent most of the day yesterday not having a heart attack. Good to know, right? The problem was, it sure felt like a heart attack. So, what do you do? You have waves of chest pains accompanied by an overwhelming, physical sense of panic and dread. You look up the symptoms.
I had excellent care at Howard County Hospital. Everyone who had any contact with me was pleasant and helpful. They reassured me that I shouldn't feel foolish for coming in. Women's heart attacks don't always present like the "typical" cardiac event. Better to be safe than sorry, they said. You made the right choice.
Yes, long-time readers of this blog will rememember I went through this about five years or so ago. Outcome the same: really bad reflux. Really convincing reflux, I might add. No one goes to the ER for fun. I tried to talk myself out of it for over an hour.
It's way past time for me to look at what I'm eating and make some changes, rather than just taking medicines day after day to accommodate my ingrained eating habits. Not exactly what I planned to do on my summer vacation, but, then again--why not? This is a pretty big road sign pointing me to the truth. I'd be foolish to ignore it.
At the moment I'm exhausted. I'm grateful for excellent health care and for our health insurance. I'm grateful to my daughter and son-in-law who sprang into action and took care of everything while my husband was out of town for the day. But overall I'm tired and drained and I want my Saturday back.
Everything came together yesterday exactly the way it should. So why do I feel such a pervasive feeling of guilt for inconveniencing everyone? I wonder if fears like that keep some people from seeking care when they really should. I can imagine that being a much bigger problem for those who health care options are more limited than mine.
I am lucky to have the choice.