Friday, December 7, 2018

Accolades and Self-Doubt

Those close to me know that I have sustained several notable kicks to the ego in recent weeks. As a result, I’ve been wrestling with thoughts that my place in the community is of little consequence and that my work here on the blog is wasted. To be clear, I’ve never thought I was a really big deal in the community, but recent events have made it clear that the space I occupy is smaller than I thought. 

I’ll be honest, that stings.

I’ve come to realize that I compare myself  to others far too much. That’s a dangerous road to go down. As Roosevelt said, “Comparison is the thief of joy,” and I can attest to the truth of that. I don’t think I’ve been consciously comparing, but clearly I’ve fashioned a view of myself in reaction to others, not as rooted in who I think I am.

Into this season of self doubt came the word yesterday that Village Green/Town² won the Howard  Magazine Readers Poll for Best Blog of 2018. This is an honor which I have openly sought for some time now. I can’t pretend I haven’t. It is something I  have told myself “I should” be able to achieve. I have been Charlie Brown every year hoping to finally catch that particular football.

So reading the news was particularly sweet.

Truth in advertising: winning this award does not actually mean I write the best blog in Howard County. It means I have the most number of motivated readers who were willing to vote in an online poll. It is a celebration of the community of readers more than anything else. It truly means that you all are the best in Howard County. I’m proud to be associated with you.

Here’s the thing: the highest award I received yesterday were these words written by my husband. They were a ringing affirmation that he “gets” what I do, and I will never be able to think of this honor without remembering what he said. 

Huge congratulations to my wife, Julia Jackson McCready, for winning the "Best Blog" award in the Best of Howard County 2018. For many years, she has dedicated herself to writing every single day, sometimes heartwarming stories, sometimes highlighting the work and talents of others, sometimes pushing dangerously into local politics and school board issues, sometimes just sharing a funny memory or touching quote, but always making us think consciously about our place in a vibrant and progressive community.

Thanks for reading.

Celebration in the Woods Advent Calendar:

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